


You Were Only Waiting For This Moment To Arise

by PensToTheEnd



Series: All Of Me Loves All Of You [9]
Category: Hockey - Fandom, Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-29
Updated: 2020-02-01
Packaged: 2020-02-09 19:31:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 32
Words: 44,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18644638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PensToTheEnd/pseuds/PensToTheEnd
Summary: Jamie Crosby, CaptainJamie's first season taking over for Sid as captain proves to be... interesting.  Throw in a trip to the 2026 Olympics and it becomes a wild affair.  Will he rise to the challenge?





	1. Blackbird

Blackbird

The Beatles

_Blackbird singing in the dead of night_  
_Take these broken wings and learn to fly_  
_All your life_  
_You were only waiting for this moment to arise_

_Blackbird singing in the dead of night_  
_Take these sunken eyes and learn to see_  
_All your life_  
_You were only waiting for this moment to be free_

_Blackbird fly, blackbird fly_  
_Into the light of the dark black night_

_Blackbird fly, blackbird fly_  
_Into the light of the dark black night_

_Blackbird singing in the dead of night_  
_Take these broken wings and learn to fly_  
_All your life_  
_You were only waiting for this moment to arise_

  
_You were only waiting for this moment to arise_

  
_You were only waiting for this moment to arise_


	2. Wanted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie gets the call from Team Canada.

January 2025

Jamie was surprised to find Sid awake when he got back from his morning run.  Sid was sitting up in bed, his back propped against the headboard.  He was typing out a text message on his phone.

“Who in god’s name are you texting at 6:30 in the morning?”  Jamie questioned as he stripped out of his winter running clothes. 

“Yzerman.”  Sid replied without looking up.  “How was your run?”

“Fucking cold.”

“You’re the idiot who thinks it’s fun.”

“Twenty degrees is fun.  Even ten can be okay.  It was fucking minus six.”

“And yet you still ran.  Again, I say, you are an idiot.”

“Whatever.  What’s Yzerman want at this hour?”

Sid glanced up and rolled his eyes at Jamie, giving him the ‘um, duh’ look.

“You’re not playing, right?  Did you tell him why?”

“Yep.  He congratulated me.  Said he’d keep it on the QT.”

“People are gonna know when they announce the roster and you’re not on it.”

“Easy enough to cover…”  Sid sat his phone down on the bedside table.  “Young man’s game.  Time to turn it over to the kids.”

“Blah, blah, blah.”  Jamie made a waving motion in the air with his hands.  “Yeah, yeah, yeah.  You’re just so fucking old, Crosby.”

Jamie started walking to the bed.

“Nope.”  Sid held up his hand, palm out, to stop him.  “You’re sweaty and smelly.  Shower first before you get in this bed.  I just put clean sheets on it yesterday.”

“Oh my god.  You’re kidding.”  Jamie protested.  He put a knee on the bed intending to simply ignore Sid.

“Stop.  I mean it.”

“Since when did you get so fussy?  Thought you liked me all schweaty.”  He winked at Sid.

“Since I’ve been doing all the laundry.  You want to sweat up the sheets, you start doing the boys’ laundry.”

“Oh.”  Jamie dipped his chin to his chest sheepishly.

“Or you tell Cheese Dip that they need to do their own laundry.”  Sid added.

“They’re our guests, Sid.”  Jamie turned and walked towards the bathroom.  “Rookies.  They need special care.”

“They don’t.”

Jamie stopped at the door and turned around.  “You did my laundry when I was a rookie.”

“I loved you.”

“Loved?”  Jamie turned on the puppy dog eyes.  “You don’t love me anymore?”

Sid shook his head.  “Nope.”

“That hurts, Sid.”  Jamie put his hand over his heart, feigning pain.

“Just go shower.”  Sid laughed.

A few minutes later, Sid heard the water running in the shower and Jamie singing over the noise.  He got up out of bed and wandered into the bathroom.

“I knew you still loved me.”  Jamie grinned when the shower door opened, and Sid stepped in.

\------------------------------------------------------------

A short time later, Jamie sat at the kitchen table, Kylie in his lap, eating breakfast.  Sid was fixing pancakes for Dillon and Andy, who sat at the table as well.

“So,” Sid hummed.  “Did you get a text this morning?”

“Huh?”  Jamie looked at him curiously.  “No.”

“Are you sure?”  Sid asked.

“I checked it just a bit ago.”

“Check it again.”  Sid smiled.

Jamie fished his phone out of his pocket and checked his text messages.  Sure enough, there was a text from Steve Yzerman asking Jamie to call him at Jamie’s convenience.  Jamie scowled over at Sid.

“Your decision.”  Sid shrugged.  “He asked me if you’d be interested even if I didn’t play.”

“Uh huh.  Likely story.”  Jamie snarked.  “You put him up to it, didn’t you?”

“Like I could do that.  But…”  Sid flipped the last pancake onto a plate and carried the stack over to the table.  “I think you should call him.”

“Whatever.”  Jamie sighed.  Sid leaned over and gave him a kiss on the top of his head.

Jamie stewed about it all through practice, but when they got home, he called Yzerman.

“Hey Jamie, thanks for getting back to me.”  Yzerman said cheerfully.  “I’m calling about 2026.  We’d like you to be part of Team Canada in Stockholm.”

“Wow, thank you Mr. Yzerman.  That’s an honor.  But…”

“I know Sid’s not playing.  I hope that you’ll play without him.  I think Canada made a mistake not putting you on the team for the last Olympics.”  Yzerman cut Jamie off.  “Jeremy Colliton is going to be the head coach.  He hopes you’ll play as well.  In fact, he’d like to name you as captain.”

There was a long, painful silence.

“Jamie?”

“Yeah, I’m here.”

“I thought my cell dropped the call.”  Yzerman said, giving an easy excuse to cover the awkward moment.

“That’s, um, that’s… nice… of him.”  Jamie’s voice was low.  “Another honor.  I, um, I guess I really just need to think about it for a bit.  Can I call you back tomorrow?  I want to talk to Sid and some other people before I make a decision.”

“Not a problem.  Looking forward to seeing you in Canada red.”  And with that, Yzerman ended the call.

Jamie sat for a few minutes, taking in the offer.  Captain.  They wanted to name him captain, not McDavid.  That was a surprise.  And, a very tempting offer.  He made two other phone calls, though, before he made up his mind.

The next day, he called Steve Yzerman back and told him his decision.

 


	3. The Set-Up - Part I

June 2025

Vegas baby! 

Jamie always had a good time when they were in Vegas.  Unlike some players, he had grown to like attending the annual NHL awards.  Of course, Vegas was always better when you’d just won the cup.  Jamie was having a blast celebrating his fifth cup with the Pens and the added bonus of getting to reign over his future Olympic teammates.

“Who took you out again, Mats?”  Jamie chirped.  “I think that means you wait on me.”

Auston groaned and got up from his lounge chair.  “I don’t think this is fair.”

“Them’s the rules.”  Jamie grinned.  “You rank Dylan, though.  Could always send him.”

“I’d have to drag him out of the pool.  Just easier if I go myself.”  Auston wandered off towards the poolside bar.  He returned a short time later with three beers and a plate of nachos.

Dylan was on one of the chairs, drying himself off.  He smiled up appreciatively at Auston.  “You have him well trained, Jame.”

“Indeed.”  Jamie grinned.  Auston’s shoulders sagged and he rolled his eyes in mock disdain.

They were all in Vegas for the awards.  Jamie was nominated for a Lindsay.  Auston for the Hart.  Dylan for the Messier Leadership award.  In addition, they were all there for the announcement of the Team USA leadership and coaching staff.  Just as in 2022, Jamie figured Auston would be the captain with him and Dylan wearing the A’s.  That’s why Auston took him off guard.

“So, boys.  How bout we flip to see who’s captain next year?”

“Huh?”  Jamie tipped his glasses down his nose and stared at Auston overtop of them.  “You’re the captain.”

“I think, to be fair, we should flip for it.  Dylan?”

“I think that’s fair.  I’m in.”

Jamie furrowed his brow and looked at Dylan suspiciously.  “Then you two flip.  I’m okay taking the A.”

“We’re gonna flip for it this time.  That’s only fair because we’re all captains now.”  Auston sat down, waiting for Jamie to protest again.

“I’m not a captain.”  Jamie mumbled.

“Not technically.  But you are.”  Dylan reached for some nachos.

“Ugh.”  Jamie slid his sunglasses back up and laid back in the lounge chair, sipping on his beer.

Auston winked at Dylan.  They’d put their plan in motion at least.

\--------------------------------------------------------

Jamie knocked on the door and waited.  It was just a second or two before Auston opened it and ushered him in.  Dylan was already there.

“You guys flip?”

“Nope.  Waiting for you.”  Dylan smiled.  He reached in his pocket and took out three quarters.

“I’m not in this.”  Jamie protested again, putting his hands up in front of him.

“Yes.  You are.”  Auston took two of the quarters and handed one to Jamie, who took it reluctantly. 

“Fine.  Odd man out.  Then the other two battle it out?”  Jamie said.  “Or best of three?”

“Odd man out works.”  Dylan nodded at Auston.  “Good?”

“Works for me.”  Auston agreed.

“Okay.  On the bed.  One.  Two.  Three.”  Jamie said. 

All three coins flipped into the air and came down with a soft thump on the bed, two heads and one tails.  Dylan and Auston quickly snatched their quarters, the two heads, and shoved them in their left pants pocket.

“That settles it.”  Dylan laughed.  “Captain Crosby it is.”

Jamie reached for his quarter and froze in mid-bend.  “Wait.  What?”

“Done deal.  Captain Crosby, sir!”  Auston throws up a half-salute.  “Will be an honor to serve under you.”

“No.  That’s not what we agreed to.  I’m out.”  Jamie straightened.  “I’m not gonna do it.”

“I think it’s too late, Cros.  Done deal it is.”  Dylan grinned.  He turned and picked up a shirt box off the chair by the window.  “This is for you.”

At first Jamie refused to take the box, then he reached out and grabbed it angrily out of Dylan’s hand.  He tossed it down on the bed and slowly took the lid off.  Inside was a neatly folded Team USA jersey.  Jamie scowled at Auston and Dylan.

“There’s something fishy goin’ on here.”  Jamie said as he lifted the sweater up.  There was a big C on the front, and his name on the back.  “Fuck.”

“Congratulations.”  Dylan laughed.  Auston clapped.  “Couldn’t happen to a better guy.”

“You fuckers had this planned.  How?”  Jamie glared.  “Wait.  Let me see those quarters.”

Dylan and Auston both reached into their right pants pocket and pulled out a quarter.  Jamie looked them over, both looked like normal coins. 

“Something’s really fishy.  I don’t know how you did it, but you two set me up.  Didn’t you?  Admit it.”  Jamie huffed.

“We just felt that the one with five cups, not either of the two with just one cup, should be the captain.”  Auston smirked.  “I mean, you’ve been telling us all week that you have five cups and we don’t.”

“Fuckers.”  Jamie swore under his breath.

“That’s right.  Talent gets its due.”  Dylan laughed.

“Crap.  Crap.  Crap.”  Jamie groaned, then he paused for a moment.  Thinking.  “Wait.  That doesn’t make sense.  Neither of you would give up being captain for that reason.  There’s something else going on.”

“I think it’s a valid reason, don’t you Dylan?”

“Why yes Auston.  He completely deserves it over us.”

“Shut up.  You know something.  What is it?”

“They’re naming the coach tonight.”  Dylan smiles.

“You’re gonna get along with him so well.”  Auston grins. 

“Yep.  And we must say, better you have to deal with him as captain than us.”  Dylan plops down in the chair and props his feet up on the bed.  “We get to just sit back and watch the fireworks.”

“Who?”  Jamie starts, then groans loudly.  “Fuck no.  Please.  No.”

“Yep.”  Auston pats him on the back sympathetically.  “That’s right.”

“Fucking Torts.”  Jamie sighs.


	4. The Set-Up - Part II

_ February... _

_ “Mr. Yzerman, it’s Jamie Crosby.” _

_ “Steve, Jamie. Just Steve. Now, I’m hoping you’ve got some good news for me? I’ve been waiting for your call,” _

_ “I’m sorry Steve, but...uh... I’m gonna have to turn down your offer.  I can’t play for Canada next year…” _

_ “Is it because Sid isn’t playing?  We can try and talk him into it.” _

_ “No.  That’s not an issue.  I can’t play for Canada because I’ll be playing for the U.S. again,” _

_ “Oh…”  There is a long painful silence. _

_ “It’s just… the U.S. Team…They gave me the chance to play, in Beijing, and well...truthfully... I’d like the chance to win another gold with those guys.” _

_ “You could win a gold with us.  Have something Sid doesn’t have, gold medals with two different countries.” _

_ “It’s not about the hardware. I already have a few awards Sid doesn’t have.  And he has a lot I don’t have. It’s not a competition between us so that doesn’t matter either.  What matters is that they wanted me,” Jamie says coldly, “and Canada didn’t.” _

_ “So not even a captaincy can change your mind?  Or, how about some other incentives. I’ll offer you a signing bonus, shall we say, to come play for us.” _

_ “Bribery?  That’s not very Canadian, eh.”  Jamie tried to laugh it off, but it came out a bit curt.  He wasn’t really sure if Yzerman was serious. “Sorry, still gonna pass.” _

_ “I’m sorry to hear that that’s your decision, Jamie.  I would really have liked for you to play for us. I’m sorry about what happened in Beijing, I wish I could change it.  I guess I understand your reasons, though.” _

_ “Don’t get me wrong Mr… Steve...I really am flattered...and even more so that you’d have made me captain. Thank you again for the offer.” _

_ “Thank you for being upfront with me.  And, good luck next season. I truly believe that Pittsburgh’s getting another great captain to lead them.” _

_ “Thank you.” Jamie hung up his phone and threw it down on the bed.  He scrubbed his hands over his face. He hoped he had made the right decision. _

_ \------------------------------------------------------------------------------ _

June...

The press conference ended and Jamie turned his phone back on, it started blowing up with text messages.  Mostly they were from the other Team USA guys. 

He called Brian, who offered his condolences to the captain.  When Jamie told him the story, he offered to take out those sneaky bastards, Larkin and Matthews.

“Did you know?”  Jamie asked. “I mean, did anybody say anything to you when they asked you to play?”

“Um, no.  No.” Brian hemmed and hawed for a minute.  “But you said they set you up somehow, so I just figured… sneaky bastards.”

“Right.”  Jamie sighed.  

Werenski said he felt left out this time, since he wouldn’t have an A at all.  He said that it was because of Torts. They’d butted heads more than once in Columbus.  

Sully texted him and told him he was sorry now that he hadn’t taken the coaching spot.  Mike had been sure they would give it to Todd Reirden. 

Jamie answered most of the texts, but finally gave up and just turned his phone off again.  He and Sid went to dinner then made their way back to their hotel room. They called Kylie, who was spending the week with Luc and Diane visiting friends of theirs in Edmonton.  After they got done, Jamie got ready for bed while Sid watched some TV.

“Fucking Torts.”  Jamie groaned as he flopped down face first on the bed when he came out of the bathroom.  “Oh my god, Sid. They fucking knew. They did this to me.”

“It’s not too late to call Yzerman back.”  Sid got got up and made his way to the bathroom to take his turn at getting ready for bed.

“No.  I’ve made my bed.”  Jamie sighed into the pillow.  “But how did they do it? Fuckers set me up.”

“Oh yeah…Larkin asked me to give you this”  Sid said, coming out from the bathroom. He walked over and dropped a quarter on the bed next to Jamie, “maybe it will answer your questions”.

Jamie rolled over on his side and picked up the coin, turning it over in his hand several times.  It appeared to be a quarter that had been taken apart and then two heads put back together. 

“Double sided coins. Those… those...Fuckers.” He glanced up at Sid.  “You knew about this.”

Sid smiled slyly.

“You fucker.”  Jamie said accusingly.  “You fucking knew. How?”

“They asked me if I thought you’d be okay with it.”

“And you said yes?”  Jamie glared up at Sid.  “Traitor.”

“I’m surprised Dumo didn’t let it slip.  He’s known for weeks.”

“He what?”  Jamie huffed, tossing the double-headed quarter onto the bedside table.  “That lying fucker. God, I’m surrounded by traitors.”

Sid grinned.  “Yes. Yes you were.  Cause Cheese Dip knew, too.”

“Ugh.”  Jamie groaned.  He rolled over and buried his head under the pillow.  Sid could hear the string of profanity being spewed. 

Sid tapped Jamie’s side until Jamie finally rolled over onto his back, then he climbed up on the bed.  Sid straddled Jamie’s hips and sat back onto Jamie’s thighs. Jamie ran his hands up and down the top of Sid’s thighs.

“I mean, honestly, I was hoping you’d play for Canada.”  Sid bent forward and lightly kissed Jamie’s lips, “I’d bet a thousand dollars that your ass would look amazing in a Canadian Maple Leaf Jersey.”

Jamie laughed.  “You know that isn’t ever going to happen.  Not playing with Schnoodle Mcdoodle and MacAsshole, even if they did make me captain.”

Sid laughed loudly.  “No, I don’t suppose you would.”

“And the only Team Canada jersey you’ll ever see my ass in is yours.”  Jamie smirked.

Much as Sid liked the guys on Team Canada, Jamie wasn’t overly fond of some of them.  Sid never really expected Jamie to play for them. His decision to play for the U.S. was a bit of a surprise, however.  Sid had thought Jamie wouldn’t play and they’d spend the two-week break at the island with Kylie. There was still a chance.

“You can back out, ya know, if you don’t want to deal with Tortorella.”

“I made a commitment.”  Jamie sighed. “Not gonna back out.  Just wish Sully had coached again.”

“How was Torts?  At the press conference?”

“Civil.  Didn’t really say much to me.”  Jamie got a quizzical look on his face.

“What?”

“He’d have had to agree to me being captain, wouldn’t he?  I mean, it wouldn’t really be up to us to decide that. Jesus… I’m such an idiot sometimes.”

“Management would have had to okay it, yes.  Guessing they told Auston it was his, but he didn’t take it.  They said find a successor.” 

“You sound pretty sure of that.  You knew?”

“I know everything, baby boy.  Haven’t you realized that in all this time?”

“I’ve gotten so used to it I don’t think about it.”  Jamie grinned. “Whatever. I can put up with Torts for two weeks.”

“Why the U.S.?”

“Cause Canada didn’t want me.”

“They did.  Boucher didn’t want you.”

“They could have over-ridden him.  Besides, the U.S. is home now. Pittsburgh is home.  We’re hardly ever in Cole Harbour, or up at the cabin.  We live in the Burgh. So, it feels right.”

“Where’s the nice Canadian boy I married?”  Sid laughed. “Ugh. I’m married to a ‘Mercan.”

“Funny.  Asshole.”  Jamie smacked Sid’s thigh.  “You love my ‘Merican ass.”

Sid leaned over and kissed along Jamie’s jaw, letting his hands roam over Jamie’s chest. 

“God bless, ‘Merica.”  Sid whispered.


	5. Speaking Words of Wisdom

November 2025

The start of his first season without Sid had gone okay.  October hadn’t been a bad month for the Pens, but Jamie wouldn’t exactly call it a good month either.  They had held their own, going 6 and 5. Jamie was hoping November would be better, that things would start to come together.

On the first, the Pens got their only Saturday off in the month of November.  Jamie, Sid and Kylie helped the boys move into their new apartment. It was a bittersweet day.  Jamie was happy for them, but he knew Kylie and Sid would miss having them around the house. He tried to tell himself he wouldn’t miss them, since he’d see them all the time anyway.  He knew he was lying to himself.

The next day the Pens won a home game against the Wild, then flew out for a two-game road trip to Buffalo and Detroit.  They lost both games in regulation, unable to scrape even one point out of the trip.

Something seemed off about the team.  Geno is still there, and Brian, Jamie’s two alternates.  Hags is still playing but has said this is his last year.  Knuckles is there, too, but Jamie knows he’d like to be closer to Conor and might be asking for a trade.  Dillon and Andy are there. So, there is a lot of familiarity.

And one giant black hole.

Jamie misses Sid. 

Every time the Pens lose, the beat writers take the opportunity to slam Jamie’s leadership, or in their opinion, his lack thereof.  It’s getting old and they’re only a month into the season.

Sid isn’t helping.

“Your D aren’t jumping into the rush.  You need to backcheck better. Andy should be quicker on his dump and chase.  Dumo and Olli seem, complacent.”

Complacent.  Jamie hated that word.  He hadn’t heard it used about the team since Jim Rutherford’s last year. 

Were they complacent?  Content with five cups and not worried about getting any more before they retired.  That was a hall of fame career right there. Why work any harder. Sit back on your laurels.

Jamie wasn’t about to let that happen.

“Ya know, Sid.  They work hard. Nobody’s slacking off.”

“I’m just saying, from what I see…”

“In practice?  I thought you weren’t going to come.  Give me some space. Let me have time to take over before you started hanging around.”  Jamie tipped his head to the side and raised his eyebrows. “Or was that all just talk?”

“I have to drop Kylie off at class.”   Sid retorted. “And pick her up. I’m sorry if that means I have to be there.”

“You could do that without having to stop at practice.”  Jamie countered. “Or… I could just take her with me.”

“But are you going to stay for her skating lessons?  And take her to lunch?” Sid said. “You’re schedule’s too busy.  I have the time. So what if I hang out and watch a practice or two.”

“Because they all think you should come back.  Or I should have retired, too. Or Geno should be captain.  Or… fucking whatever they want to write about this week.” Jamie threw up his arms in exasperation.  “You live for it.”

“Jamie… I…”

“No.  You do.  You love it.  You miss it. Admit it Sid.  As much as you say you wanted privacy in your live, you fucking loved being in the spotlight.  Being the best in the world. And this is your way of hanging on to it.”

“I…”

“Telling me what’s wrong with my team.  Telling me what’s wrong with my leadership.  Telling me…”

“I’m just trying to help.”  Sid interrupted Jamie’s tirade.

“Help?  It’s not fucking helping me Sid.  It’s making me doubt myself even more.” 

“Maybe it’s just cup hangover.”  Sid offered.

“What?”

“What’s wrong with the team.”

“Oh… my… fucking… god.  Are you not listening to anything I say?”

“Yes.  I am.” Sid steps forward and reaches for Jamie’s hands, holding them between the two of them, rubbing the back of Jamie’s hands with his thumbs.  “There’s something off about the team. You can’t put your finger on it. And, even though you’re yelling about me interfering, you want my opinion and my help, or you wouldn’t have said anything.  You’ve been sulking for a week. Now… take a deep breath.”

Jamie glared at Sid for several seconds before he finally closed his eyes and inhaled deeply through his nose.  He held the breath while Sid counted to ten and then let the air rush out his mouth. They repeated this several times.

“Done yelling?”

“Yes.”

“This was good.  You let it out much sooner than I expected.  I didn’t think this would come until, oh, December sometime.”

“Asshole.”

“Yep.  Now. Let’s figure out what’s wrong.  If we can.”

\-------------------------------------------------------------

Jamie agreed that Sid could come to practice, for a week, to just watch the dynamics between the players, see why they weren’t meshing.  He and Jamie would then talk about what Sid observed, going through the team player by player. Jamie figured Sid could only help at this point, after all, he’d been through more than one season where the team didn’t seem to come together.  Ever. Jamie could only hope that his first season as captain wouldn’t be one of those seasons.

Everything seemed fine with the current core players, even though they knew a trade was coming for at least one of them.  Word was that Jordan Grove, the new GM, was trying to work out a trade to get Knuckles to St. Louis. It was proving to be more difficult than he thought given the Blues cap situation and Tommy’s salary.  It was going to end up being a three-team deal, it just meant finding the right team to add. Tommy had said he would take a trade to Chicago, or Nashville even, because he’d at least be closer to Conor, only an hour flight.  It was just a matter of time before he was gone.

Hags had said this was his last year.  There was a chance Grove would trade him, too, but it didn’t seem likely.  There wasn’t as much angst about him leaving as there was about Knuckles. Also, Olli was talking retirement.  Nagging shoulder issues were starting to be harder to deal with. It wasn’t always the years, but the wear and tear that ended a career. 

Geno wasn’t going anywhere.  He’d also been nothing but supportive of Jamie.  He’d already done more press time in the past month than he’d done in all his time with Sid as captain.  Sid, of course, didn’t let that go without comment.

“Sid always best.”  Geno had smirked. “Is lazy baby Crosby that makes me do talk with media.”

Geno had smiled warmly at Sid then, reached out and ruffled Sid’s hair, and walked away.  Yeah, there was no way Sid could stay mad at him. Ever.

Andy and Dillon weren’t having problems.  No real sophomore slump, per se. Just has Jamie had, they fit in with both the younger guys and the vets, flitting easily between the two groups.  Finally, Sid got to the newest Pen.

Yuri Pushkin.

“He’s a goon.”  Sid said as he climbed into bed.  “Still don’t know why Grove signed him.”

“He’s nice enough.”  Jamie shrugged. “Off the ice.”

Pushkin was a free agent, signed right before the start of training camp on a professional try-out contract.  To Jamie’s surprise, he made the team. He was a career fourth-liner, barely. Teams Pushkin had played on called him an enforcer.  The Pens called him an enforcer. 

The difference between an enforcer and a goon depended on two things.  First whether said player was on your team or not. Second, did they really only hit or fight to protect, defend the honor of their teammates.  Jamie had gotten into his fair share of fights over the years. He didn’t like to get pushed around. By the same token, over time he’d learned to let enforcers take the fights for him.  Sully had explained it very clearly; star players did no good for the team if they were sitting in the penalty box for dropping their gloves.

Goons on the other hand hit guys just to hit guys.  Usually it was a blindside, or otherwise cheap ass hit.  Jamie had his fair share of run ins with goons as well. He knew who the goons in the league were.  Sid was right. Pushkin was a goon.

“How is he with the guys?”

“Friendly enough.  He keeps to himself a lot.”  Jamie said. It was the end of the week and time for them to talk about Sid’s observations. “Talks to Geno a lot.  I think he speaks more English than he lets on.”

“I think all the Russian players do.  It’s a ploy they use to get out of doing media.”  Sid laughed.

Yuri Pushkin was Jamie’s age.  He’d been undrafted, coming to the league from the KHL when he was 22.  He’d bounced through several teams already including Dallas, Vegas, the Rangers, and most recently Anaheim. 

“He gives off this weird vibe.”  Jamie shrugged his shoulders, then put his hands behind his head with his elbows out, so he was propped up a little on his pillow.  “Can’t really say what it is about him.”

“Maybe cause he was a Duck?”  Sid settled in on his side, facing Jamie.  He could tell Jamie was tense, his muscles tight, so he reached over and started drawing lazy circles on Jamie’s chest.

“Funny.  No. Just, I don’t know.”  Jamie continued. “I can’t tell if it’s an anti-Crosby, well, anti-Sidney Crosby,” Sid rolled his eyes and shook his head at that, “thing or if it’s an anti-gay thing.  It’s just a weird feeling I have around him.”

“Probably more the anti-me thing.  How is he with Dils and Andy?”

“Okay.  Good actually.  He does hang with them more than anybody other than G.”  Jamie mused. “I guess that’s not the issue then.”

“Well.  That’s everybody, except…”  Sid hesitated.

“Me.”  Jamie sighed.  “I’m the problem.”

“I don’t think you’re the problem.  Well, not the only problem.” Sid chuckled, tapping his fingers on Jamie’s chest to emphasize his words.

“Funny.  Okay. So, lay it on me.  What am I doing wrong?”

“Nothing.”  Sid laughed, then reading Jamie’s expression, became more serious.  “I mean it, Jame. You aren’t doing anything wrong as captain. But you are doing what you always do.”

“I’m doing what I always do?  But I’m not doing anything wrong?”  Jamie furrowed his brow, looking completely confused.

“You’re doubting yourself.  That’s what you always do. You’re telling yourself you’re not good enough.  You’re listening to the nay-sayers. And well, we all know they’re full of shit.”

“They seem pretty sure about it.”  Jamie states rather emphatically.

“You’re better than them, Jame.  You’re better than all of them. Gretzky isn’t an idle flatterer.  You belong right where you are, leading this team.”

“No.  I don’t.  I’m not you, Sid.”

“No, you’re not.  What did you tell Grummand, though?  You’re Jamie Fucking Crosby. You’re the captain of the Pittsburgh Penguins.  You need to listen to what’s not being said and who’s not saying it.”

“What?”  Jamie questioned, more than just a little confused at this point.  “That doesn’t make any sense.”

“You’re so busy listening to what’s being said by the media that you aren’t listening to what your team is saying, or in this case, what they aren’t saying.”

“Huh?”  He turned his head to look directly at Sid.  “Okay, enlighten me, oh wise one.”

“Have any of them said anything negative about you being captain?  Any grumblings in the room?”

“No.  Not to the media that I know of, at least not on the record.  Of course, the beat guys say they’re hearing rumblings. A mutiny’s afoot.”

“Lies.  Hype. Trying to stir things up when there’s not anything to stir.”  Sid said sternly. “The guys aren’t saying anything negative.”

“They aren’t saying anything positive either.”

“Yeah, they are.”  Sid said. “Again, not to the media.  As I was told more than once, it was none of their business.  They all told me that you’re doing a good job. The problem isn’t in the room, it’s on the ice.  Things need to come together out there.”

“So, again, why?  What’s the problem on the ice?”

“What’s your problem on the ice?” 

“I’m asking you.”  Jamie huffed, then added sarcastically, “If I knew what my problem was, obviously I’d be able to fix it.”

“What’s your problem…” Sid held his hand up to Jamie’s mouth before Jamie could interrupt him.  “What’s your problem off the ice? What did we just talk about?”

“My continual lack of self-confidence.”  Jamie groaned, sounding annoyed.

“You not being me.”

“I’m not you.  That’s the problem.  I told you that.”

“No.  It’s not a problem.  You’re listening to what is being said about the team on the ice, too.  That I’m not there. That no one can replace me.” Sid pushed himself up, so he was almost sitting up next to Jamie.  He looked down at Jamie. “I don’t need to be replaced Jamie. Not by you. Not by anyone.”

Jamie closed his eyes and took a deep breath.  “Okay, I’m listening.”

“You’re not me.  Who are you again?”

“Jamie Fucking Crosby.”  Jamie sighed.

“You don’t need to try and be me on the ice.  You’re good. You’re great. You. You’re surrounded by great players, too.  They don’t need to try and do it all on their own. They don’t need to be the one that steps up in my absence.  Don’t let the media convince you, or them, that they do. They just need to play their game. Play as a team. Right now, they’re trying to all be that guy when what they need is to be those guys.  Does any of that make sense to you?”

Jamie opened his eyes and looked up at Sid.  “We all need to stop trying to be Sidney Crosby.”

“Yep.”

“Off the ice and on it?”

“That’s right.”

“It’s that simple?”

“It’s that simple, baby boy.”

“You are so full of shit.”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

Jamie might not understand Sid’s advice, not completely.  Jamie might not even believe Sid’s advice, not completely.  Jamie was willing to at least try Sid’s advice. Completely.

The sign outside the meeting room read  _ Players ONLY. _

Inside, the lights were off, and video played on the large screen.  Video of each of the Pens’ Cup wins under Sidney. That was followed by video of each of the handshake lines from the years the Pens were eliminated.

“What’s the difference between any of these teams?”  Jamie asked, stepping to the front of the room as the lights came back up.

“Winning cup and losing.”  Geno said. “I’m much like winning teams better.”

“What was different about the winning teams G?  You were there for all of these.”

“Sidney was there, too.”

“Yep.  When this team won,” Jamie stated very clearly then added a little louder, “and for the eliminations.  Well, except for the time he was out with his concussion, but otherwise…”

“What’s your point, Cap?”  Brian asked.

“Having one player.  Not having one player.  It isn’t what makes or breaks a team.  Sure, it can have some impact. A hundred point scored is hard to replace.  You aren’t necessarily going to do it with one guy. A guy who’s never scored more than fifteen goals isn’t going to suddenly start scoring thirty goals.”

Jamie looked from face to face, watching their reactions.

“But, he might score twenty.  Four or five guys step up and get twenty each, all of a sudden you’ve made up those hundred points you lost.  What I’m saying is that none of you have to try and be Sidney, be the top scorer. I don’t have to try and do it all myself either.”  He looked directly at Geno. “We’re a team. It’s not one guy out there by himself. There are twenty of us dressing for a game. There are twenty-three of us practicing our asses off to fight for those twenty spots.  We’re a team. When we won those Cups, we did it as a team. When we lost, we did it as a team.”

He saw heads start to nod. 

“I’m not Sid.  I worried about what that would mean.  To the team. To our fans.” Jamie looked down, scuffing his foot on the carpet before he looked back up.  “I’ve let it hurt my game. I forgot that it doesn’t matter that I’m not Sid. I’m me. Just like I said last spring, when Sid got hurt during our push to make the playoffs.  I can only play my best game, not Sidney Crosby’s best game. Geno, you need to play your best game. It’s usually pretty good. Dumes, you knew this before. When Kris retired.  You didn’t need to be Kris Letang. You needed to just be Brian Dumoulin, a pretty damn good defenseman in his own right.”

Jamie winked at Brian, who promptly flipped him off.

“Andy, Dillon, Yuri, Marcus, you guys just need to go out and play the way you know how to play.  As a team. Go back to the basics. Pass. Shoot. Score. Work together. Don’t try to do it all on your own.  If we can do that… when we do that… I think things will start to change. For the better.” 

Jamie finished his pep talk.  The guys spent the next fifteen minutes or so just chatting about what Jamie had said and how to make the changes they needed.  It all sounded positive, like they were buying in to his plan. 

As they were leaving, he saw Pushkin drape his arm over Dillon’s shoulder and say something into his ear that made Dillon laugh.  It wasn’t a normal laugh to Jamie, however, but more of a nervous laugh. Something in his gut tightened, an uneasiness. When he asked Dillon about it, Dillon had said Yuri just made a bad joke about them both scoring on the upcoming road trip.

“Scoring?  Like?”

“Like sex.  Getting lucky.  Ya know.” Dillon replied.  “Just a bad joke. Nothing to worry about, it wasn’t like a homophobic thing if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Jamie had let it go.  But there was that thing in his gut again.  He decided he was just being overly protective of his rookies.  If Dillon said there wasn’t a problem, he had to trust him.

Jamie should have trusted his gut instead.


	6. Lose One...  Save One

“Party! Party!  Party!”

The chant filled the locker room at the training center.  Jamie finally stood and motioned for everyone to quiet down.

“Settle.  Settle.” Jamie started.  “Are you sure? You want a party?”

“Party! Party!  Party!” They started up again.

“Okay.  Okay.” Jamie laughed, motioning them down again.  “After we get into Toronto on Wednesday?”

“That’s what we talked about.”  Dillon said. “Make this trip a team bonding trip.”

“Nothing outrageous, Cap, just some drinks in one of the suites.  I’ll call the hotel and book it. Or maybe even in one of their meeting rooms.  Drinks. Food. Maybe some game or movie on a couple of big screens.” Marcus Calderson added.  He was one of the new forwards they’d picked up.

“Okay.  Nothing outrageous.  You guys promise.” Jamie said skeptically.  “And you just happened to pick a day we’re in Canada.”

“Well, duh.  Is place where we not get in trouble if kids drinking vodka.”  Yuri looked over at Dillon and gave him a sly nod. “If team bonding, all team must get to party.”

Jamie shook his head slowly.  “I can’t fight you all. Okay.  Let’s get it set up before we fly out Sunday.”

He wasn’t sure a team party was the best thing, but they all sounded pretty enthusiastic about it, even Brian and Geno.  Andy and Dillon talked his ears off during the ride to their apartment. Jamie had practically shoved them out the door of the Jeep and they were still jabbering as they walked away.

They’d fly out on Sunday for another long road trip.  This one would be five games over eleven days, taking them to Buffalo, Toronto, Ottawa, Montreal and Boston.  It included a three-day break between games over the Thanksgiving holiday. The schedule had them staying over in Ottawa on Tuesday after the game, then flying to Toronto on Wednesday.  Thursday they’d be off for the holiday. That meant there were no team activities, other than Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday, before practice on Friday. Jamie had planned on taking them all out to dinner in Toronto, but the boys had suggested the party instead.  Well, if it helped them bond as a team, Jamie was willing to try.

Unfortunately, a couple of the boys wouldn’t be there to party with them.  Sunday, as he was packing for the trip, Jamie got a series of text messages.

Knuckles:   _ got a call, flying south not north _

Grove:   _ announcing trade in an hour  Kuhnhackl and Maatta to Seattle   Seattle keeping Maatta and 40% of Tom’s salary  Tom going to Blues for trade picks We get trade picks from Blues and Seattle _

Shears:   _ BOOYAH! _

Olli:   _ You hear? _

Brian:   _ You need to call Olli. _

Jamie sighed deeply and sat down on the bed.  He sent out a group text that told the players about the trade and warned them not to leak it until the announcement was made.  Next, he called Knuckles. It was a short conversation, mixed emotions coming from Tommy, but ultimately happy to be going to play with Conor. 

The conversation with Olli didn’t go as well.  Mostly Jamie listened as Olli complained. He just wanted to finish out his career as a Pen and now that wasn’t going to happen.  Olli told him he’d made his decision to just retire. Fuck Grove. Fuck Seattle. He wasn’t going there.

Jamie hung up and made another call right away.  He spent 15 precious minutes arguing his case. After he hung up, he waited nervously.

And waited.

And waited.

He watched for the alert from the NHL app that would announce the trade.  It didn’t come when it should have. That gave him hope as he continued to wait.

Finally, almost an hour and a half later he got a text.

Olli:   _ HOW???? _

Jamie:   _ I sold my soul. _

Jamie’s phone chirped then with the NHL trade notification.  Jamie read it and called Olli.

“You sold your soul?  How? What?” Olli asked, incredulous.  “What did you do?”

“You get to retire a Pen.  Whenever you decide to retire.”  Jamie said. “Grove said he’d just buy out your contract now.  I convinced him, evidently, that you were valuable to the team.  To my leadership.”

“I still don’t…”

“I asked him not to trade away two veterans, two core guys, when the team was struggling.  I said that from a player perspective, moves like that by a GM have never worked for the betterment of the team.  I guess he agreed.”

“Who’s going.  All he said when he called was that there had been a change in the trade terms.”

“Seattle is getting Larson.  And a prospect, not sure who.”  Jamie informed Olli. “It’s not the best trade coming this way, but Knuckles gets to go to St. Louis.  So, I can live with it.”

“Holy fuck.  I owe you. Like I owe you my first-born child or something.”  Olli sounded elated. “You want him?”

“Oh hell no!”  Jamie chuckled.  “Kalle has way too much energy for me.  He and Kylie together, god we’d never get any rest.”

“Thank you.  Thank you so much, Jame.  I don’t know how I’m ever going to be able to repay you.”  Olli said. Jamie could hear someone yelling something in the background. “Mari says thank you, too.  She was so upset when I told her about the trade.”

“You’re welcome.  Repay me by getting us the Cup this year.  Then you can retire if you want.” Jamie said warmly.  “I think I used up all my Crosby power with Grove, too.  So, don’t do anything stupid the rest of the season, okay.”

Olli laughed and assured him he’d be on his best behavior.  They ended their call and Jamie had a text message waiting.

Larson:   _ Fuck you and the Pens _

Yeah, Jamie had expected that.  Larson had been a rental. For some reason Grove had resigned him, too.  Jamie knew the reason was a cheap $800,000 contract. Larson hadn’t fit in since his first day, but he had played well enough to help them win the Cup last season.  Now, he was gone. Jamie couldn’t care less if he was pissed off. Olli was staying, and that was what mattered.

\---------------------------------------------------------------

The Pens lost the game in Buffalo but beat Ottawa the next night in the second of their back-to-back games of this trip.  There was a minor pre-party party back at the hotel Tuesday night, with Jamie picking up the tab after several mini-fridges were cleaned out.

Jamie had a couple of beers, then he slipped out to go call Sid.  Before he left, he saw Pushkin chatting with Dillon and Andy. Something in Jamie’s gut twisted again.  The boys looked like they were having a good time, though. Maybe he was just worrying about nothing, letting his past make him think the worst.  He caught the boys’ attention and nodded at Yuri, mouthing ‘things okay’. Dillon smiled and nodded back, so Jamie shook off the feeling and headed out.

He went back to his room and got settled in bed before he texted Sid.

Jamie:  _ Still up? _

He got a smiley face response and his phone rang a few seconds later.

“Good game.”  Sid’s voice said when Jamie answered.  He sounded like he just woke up.

“Thanks.”

“What’s wrong?”  Jamie’s tone in that one word instantly had Sid fully awake.  “Did you get hurt? I didn’t see anything happen. Is Dumo okay?  The boys? What?”

“No.  Nothing like that.  Everybody’s fine. The team’s having a little celebration.  I left to come call you.”

“And?”

“It’s nothing, really.  Pushkin was chatting with the boys and well…”  Jamie drew quiet.

“Well?”  Sid probed.  “What?”

“I just get this feeling about him, Sid.  It’s just something in my gut.” Jamie told him.  “He gives me weird vibes. Maybe it’s just cause he’s Russian… ya know how I love them so.”

Sid laughed.  “Don’t let Geno hear you.”

“Or Alex.”  Jamie laughed, too.  “He just seems odd. Can’t figure it out.”

“Did you do a captain’s check on him?”

“What?”

“You know, like I did on you when you came here.  Call the captains, or somebody you know and trust on the teams he’s played for.  Ask about him. Use your network, Captain Crosby.”

“Did you do it on other guys?  Besides me?”

“Of course.”  Sid chuckled. “Gives you some insight into what’s coming to your locker room.  Sometimes Jim would have me do it before a trade, just to get a feel on a guy he might be interested in.  I got lots of calls about guys, too. You mean you haven’t gotten any yet?”

“Nope.  Not a one.”  Jamie paused.  “Wait. Are you still getting calls?  I mean, are they calling you instead of me?”

“No.”

“Sid.”

“Well, okay.  I’ve gotten a couple.  You’re having enough trouble adjusting to not being me that I didn’t want to tell you and have you get all upset.”

“Jesus Fucking Christ.”  Jamie swore. “You thought it would upset me?  You know how I’m feeling and…”

“Jamie.”  Sid interrupted.

“What?”  Jamie huffed.

“You said it wrong.  Much as you think you’re god, it’s Jamie Fucking Crosby, not Jesus Fucking Christ.  If it were the other way, I’d worry a lot less about you.”

“You… what… you… oh my god… fuck you Sid.”  Jamie blustered into the phone.

“Sputter away, baby boy.”  Sid laughed. 

They talked for a while longer, until Jamie heard Brian enter the adjoining room, then he said goodnight to Sid.  He asked Brian how things were at the pre-party. Brian said it had broken up for the night. He’d made sure everybody got to their rooms okay before he’d come back to his room.  Jamie relaxed, knowing Brian was looking out for the team, too. He made a mental note to do some calling in the morning to check out Pushkin. He wondered what he’d find.

The next morning involved breakfast, an off-ice workout in the morning, and some video time.  In the afternoon they hoped a quick flight from Ottawa to Toronto. They checked into their rooms, some of them taking naps, some just hanging out.  They reconvened at 7 o’clock in a large meeting room on the main floor. It was at the end of a hallway, quiet and secluded from the lobby. The boys’ party was the only thing going on in the hotel that night.  The hotel had set up a buffet and self-serve bar for them, as well as brought in three large-screen TV sets. Everything they needed for a good time.

With all the activity that morning, Jamie had completely forgotten to make his calls about Pushkin.  It was something he’d soon regret.


	7. Wolf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The unthinkable (to Jamie) happens... there is a wolf among them and he strikes at the team party...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW this chapter... talk of past assault, attempted assault, date rape drugs, non-con, physical assault, fight - nothing graphic as with Jamie's assault...

Jamie sat back in the chair and propped his feet up on another one.  He rested his arm on the table, a beer in his hand. There were several plates of food on the table that everyone was sharing from.  Jamie was relaxed. Maybe for the first time all season. The party had been a good idea after all.

He looked around the room, taking stock of where everybody was, who was doing what.  He wasn’t worried about any of it. In his time with the Pens, his concern about wolves, as Ovechkin called them, had faded from his memory.  What had happened in Anaheim, a drunk Jamie being assaulted by teammates, was something he never thought about anymore. While there were still wolves around the league, veteran players who preyed on young rookies, getting them to perform sex acts as a team hazing sometimes, there were no wolves on the Pens.  It wasn’t accepted behavior by the team. Because he felt safe, Jamie had maybe let his guard down too much. 

The boys were obviously missing Knuckles.  There was an opened beer bottle just sitting at most of the tables, untouched.  “One for Knuckles.” Brian had said when he set a bottle down on their table. Jamie had nodded and raised his own bottle in toast.  Some of the guys were playing cards. Geno’s boisterous laugh boomed across the room every now and then. Jamie knew this was a sign he was winning.  Like Jamie and Brian, a lot of the others were watching the games. Olli sat at a table with Hags and Muzz. When he saw Jamie looking in that direction, he raised his bottle in a salute.  Jamie returned the salute and Olli smiled happily. Yeah, the party was good. They were all relaxed.

Finally his gaze settled on Andy and Dillon, sitting at a table across the room.  Pushkin, sitting with them, was being rather animated as he told a story in his broken English.  Andy and Dillon looked like they were having a good time. He took notice that while Andy had a beer, Dillon had a bottle of water.  Smart boys, he thought, Sid and I did okay getting them ready to be on their own. Sid had lectured them about drinking and driving, and even if they didn’t have to drive home, he had also warned them about wolves.

Jamie turned his attention back to the TVs.  There were three different hockey games on.

“Back rub tonight says the Bruins get their asses kicked.”  He said to Brian.

“Hhhhmmm…”  Brian hummed, taking a sip of his beer.  “I’ll take that bet. Rangers are going down.”

Jamie settled in to watch the game and forgot about watching the boys.  They were safe on this team. His team.

Only… they weren’t. It was late in the third period of the game when Andy came over.  He looked worried.

“Do you know where Dillon went?”

“No.  He’s not with you?  Or Yuri?” Jamie asked.

“We were all talking and I went to take a leak.  I came back and they were gone.”

It was like someone stuck a hot poker in Jamie’s chest.  His heart started racing. His stomach tightened. 

“Has Dillon been drinking?  I saw him with water earlier.”

“He wasn’t, but Yuri brought him a drink just before I left.  Said one drink would not hurt him.”

“Maybe they went to the restroom and you just missed them.  Or they went up to bed?” Brian suggested.

“Oh fuck.”  Jamie swore, all his memories of Anaheim come flooding back in one horrible moment of panic.

“What’s the matter, Fluff?”  Brian asked as Jamie stood up.

“Trouble.  I think. Oh, fuck.  I’ll be back. I’m hoping I’m wrong, but…” Jamie pulled out his phone.  Brian only heard the last part of the conversation as Jamie started walking away.  “Room 436, thanks.”

“What up?”  Geno asked as he walked up to the table where Brian was sitting.  “Marshmellow leave in big hurry. He sick?”.

“Not sure.”  Brian stared at the door where Jamie and Andy had gone through.  He stood up and motioned for Geno to follow him. “Come on, G. This might not be good.”

“What you think happen?”  Geno asked when they got to the elevator.  

Jamie and Andy weren’t there, meaning they were probably already at Pushkin’s room.  Brian gave him a quick overview of what happened and how Jamie reacted as they waited.  Geno got the picture right away.

“Oh no.”  Geno said as they stepped into the elevator.  “If what you think, Jamie will hurt Yuri. We need hurry.”

They got off on the fourth floor and scanned the hallway.  They saw Andy standing outside a room. Andy turned when he heard them and waved his arm frantically for them to come as he stepped to catch the door before it closed.

_ “He is going to kill him.”  _  Andy yelled in German.

Brian didn’t need to understand the words to hear the fear and panic in Andy’s voice.  He sprinted down the hallway and into the room.

\--------------------------------------------

Jamie’s room key was a master key for all the players’ rooms.  The captain had it for emergencies, like when a player accidentally locked himself out of his room.  That really wasn’t an emergency. This was an emergency.

Jamie rushed  from the meeting room to the elevator, Andy in tow.  He nervously kept pushing the up button until the doors opened.  He could hear Brian and someone coming down the hall as the doors closed.  

Jamie kept mumbling, “Please let me be wrong.”

Andy kept asking him what he thought was wrong, the anxiety level in his voice rising each time as Jamie just bounced nervously on his toes waiting, the ride to the fourth floor agonizingly slow. When the doors finally opened, Jamie bolted out and looked at the sign showing where room numbers were located.  He turned left and went down the hall. He stopped at 436, didn’t even knock, just ran his key through the scanner and pushed the door open.

“Get the fuck off him!” He exclaimed as he raced into the room.  He hit Yuri full force and drove him across the room and to the floor.  Jamie started swinging once he had the big Russian down on the ground, taking full advantage of his surprise attack.  “Fuck you! Fuck you! You fucking asshole” He kept yelling at Yuri.

All Yuri could do was put his hands up to try and protect himself.

An instant later, but what seemed like an eternity to Jamie, he felt arms on him, pulling him away from Yuri.

“Fluff!”  

“Jamie!”

“Fluff, you’re gonna kill him.  Stop!”

The words filtered into Jamie’s brain, pushing through the red rage that had overcome him. He didn’t care. Another punch landed solidly against Pushkin’s face. 

“Jamie. Stop!” 

He was breathing hard.  Everything was out of focus.  All he could see was Yuri. A pair of arms wrapped around him, pinning his own arms down. Pulling him up, and away from the Russian. He struggled, fighting against the person. 

“Jesus Christ, Jamie.  What the hell?” Brian said.  He held Jamie tight, turning him away from Pushkin. Jamie struggled harder.

“Let me go, Dumes!” he spat the words. “Fucking asshole!  If you hurt him…” Jamie’s chest heaved as he fought against the arms around him. 

“Calm the fuck down.” Brian hissed, and Jamie relaxed in his arms. 

Brian loosened his grip for just a second, and Jamie lunged at the Russian again.  Brian barely managed to pull him back as he struggled again, 

“Dumes…i swear to God…” he stopped as a voice cut through the chaos. 

“Dillon?  Dillon, wake up.” The words hit Jamie like someone threw cold water in his face, instantly taking all the fight out of him. 

Andy’s voice. 

Jamie’s body relaxed against the hold his friend had on him. Brian cautiously let go, ready to jump back in if needed. 

“I’m good,” Jamie shook himself free and went to kneel beside the bed where Dillon was passed out cold, his pants pulled down around his ankles. 

“Dils?  Dils can you hear me?”  Jamie checked to make sure the youngster was breathing. 

Andy turned and glared at Pushkin.  “What did you do? Did you drug him? What did you give him?”  

Brian had to step between them, had to keep Andy from going after Pushkin as well.  Geno bent to see how badly the other Russian was hurt. When he found him mostly okay, he dragged Pushkin to his feet and unceremoniously threw him into one of the chairs.  

Jamie pulled out his phone and tossed it to Brian.  “Call Sully. And Doc. Get them here, now.” He turned to Andy, “Go get some towels, run them in cold water.”

_ “What you do to Dillon?” _  Geno asked Puskin accusingly in Russian.

_ “Boy can’t handle vodka.  One drink he pass out.” _  Pushkin answered.  He had blood running from his nose and a cut on his lip. His eye was already swelling shut.  He spat some of the blood on the floor and Geno picked up a shirt, handing it to him. Pushkin leaned forward and held the shirt against his nose to catch the blood.  

There was a knock on the door.

“Management.”  Came a voice. “Is everything okay?”

Jamie went to the door, opening it just slightly.  

“Hey, yeah.  Sorry about that.  A friendly wrestling match for the TV remote just got a little out of hand.  We’ll keep it down. Really sorry. Did we disturb somebody?”

Jamie was used to the team having a whole floor to themselves.  Because of a convention in town, the hotel had to split them up onto several floors this time.  He hadn’t given a thought to the fact that the commotion would draw attention to them.

“We had a couple of calls saying there was a loud commotion in this room.”  The desk clerk said. He looked more annoyed than concerned. “Figured it had to be players.”

Jamie saw the perturbed look on the guys face.  That was good, he’d believe the lie about rowdy hockey players.  

“Yeah, we’re sorry.  Like I said, we’ll keep it down.”

“Okay.  I don’t want any more complaints, or I’ll have to inform the team.”  The young man turned and walked away. Jamie saw Sully coming down the hall.  The clerk stopped him for a moment, said a few words then kept going. Jamie waited, holding the door open for Sully.

“Jamie?  What’s going on? All Brian would say was i…”

“It’s Pushkin,” Jamie said, “I’ve had this feeling… well… and now...I’m sure he drugged Dillon...I think he was going to…”  

Jamie didn’t need to finish the sentence, Sully pushed past him and into the room, looking at the evidence in front of him.

“We got here just in time.”


	8. Not The Same Old Story

By the next morning, things had calmed down.  Mostly. Jamie was still on the warpath, wanting Pushkin’s head on a platter.  Andy was in full agreement. Both were angry that the police hadn’t been called and Pushkin taken away in cuffs.  Both understood why that hadn’t happened, however. Shit would have hit the fan big time if this had come out last night and it wouldn’t have been right to throw Dillon into the middle of it without him being aware of what had happened.  As long as Dillon was okay, which Doc assured then he would be once Pushkin admitted to what he’d given him, Jamie and Andy could wait until Dillon was coherent enough to make his own decision about what should be done.

Doc had checked him over, and Jamie and Andy had sat with Dillon all night.  About six in the morning, he’d finally come to, groggy and confused. Jamie called Doc, who came and checked Dillon over again.  He said he was alright. His vitals were all normal.

_ “What happened?”  _ Dillon questioned Andy in French as Jamie walked Doc to the door.

_ “Pushkin put something in your drink.” _  Andy told him.   _ “What do you remember?” _

_ “Nothing.  You left. I took a few sips and…” _  Dillon rubbed his forehead.   _ “nothing after that.” _

_ “He tried to have sex with you.” _  Andy said softly.   _ “Jamie stopped him.” _

_ “He didn’t?  I… fuck…” _  Dillon rolled over on his side, away from Andy who was sitting on the edge of the bed. 

Without hesitation, Andy climbed on the bed and stretched out next to Dillon, wrapping his arms around him tightly and pulling him close.  “ _ It’s okay.” _  He kissed Dillon’s neck lightly.  “ _ It’ll be okay.” _

“You guys okay if I slip out for a while?”  Jamie asked.

“Yeah.  We are good.”  Andy told him. 

Jamie went over and put his hand lightly on Dillon’s head.  “It’ll be okay, Dils. I’ll take care of it.”

Dillon just nodded his head.  Jamie noticed his cheeks were wet.

\----------------------------------------------------------------

Two hours later, Jamie sat in Sully’s room.  Pushkin was there, dark bruises around one eye and on his right cheek, his nose swollen.  Jamie had done some serious damage. It was bound to get noticed by the press. Brian was there as Pushkin’s union rep; he wasn’t happy about it, but Pushkin had a right to union representation.  Geno was there to help translate if necessary. His English was better than Pushkin’s. 

They were on a conference call with Jordan Grove.

“I want him gone.”  Jamie demanded. “I want him off this team and out of the league, out of hockey.  If it were up to me, he’d be in jail right now.”

“Dillon doesn’t want that.  He doesn’t want anything done.”  Grove said calmly. “It’s better for everybody if we just handle this internally.”

“Dillon’s still in shock.  He doesn’t know what he wants for sure.”  Jamie countered, getting more agitated with Grove’s seeming indifference.  “This doesn’t happen, not on this team. Not on my team. Not without there being consequences.”

Sully put his hand on Jamie’s thigh, squeezing lightly to settle him down.  He knew why Jamie was so upset with Grove.

“It’s not gonna be like before, Jamie.  There will be consequences. You just need to let Jordan handle this.”  Sully said lowly, just loud enough for Jamie to hear.

“Fuck that.”  Jamie swore under his breath.  He glared at Pushkin, who tried to melt into his chair.

“Jamie, I’m not going to make a rash decision with the team on the road.  Yuri will be scratched for the rest of the games on this trip. I’m making arrangements for him to be flown back to Pittsburgh today.  Let things cool off for a few days. Let me listen to both sides…”

“Listen to both sides?”  Jamie cut in. “Are you fucking kidding me?  He fucking admitted that he drugged him. Oh my god, you have to be kidding me.  He needs to just be fired.”

“Jamie.  Take the phone off speaker and pick it up.”  Grove commanded.

“What?”  Jamie barked into the phone when it was just him and Grove.

“I’m going to tell you this once.  I understand who you are, I’m not Bob Grummand.  I let you have your way with Olli. But let’s make no mistake here.  This is not, your team. This is my team. You work for me, Mr. Crosby.  I’ll handle this as I see fit. You need to back off and just play hockey, that’s your job.  Am I making myself clear?”

“Perfectly.  Mr. Grove.” Jamie snapped back.  He handed the phone to Sully.

“Just like fucking Anaheim.”  Jamie swore under his breath as he stood up.  “I can’t fucking believe this.”

He stormed out of the room with one last glare at Pushkin.  He raised his arm in a quick motion, making Pushkin jerk in fear that Jamie was going to attack him again.  That little show of cowardice brought a smile to Jamie’s face. 

Geno explained to Pushkin what Grove had said.  Brian asked if he was okay with the team’s actions regarding what had happened.  Brian had Geno explain again that this was not the end of any disciplinary action, but rather just the beginning of an investigation by the team.  Pushkin agreed with that. Brian made sure he understood, having Geno go over it again. The last thing he had Geno tell Pushkin was not to talk to anybody about what had happened until he spoke to Grove back in Pittsburgh.  He told him that wouldn’t happen until the whole team was back, and that Brian would be present as the union rep, along with an attorney.

By noon, Pushkin was on the team’s private jet on his way back to Pittsburgh.

The team was rather subdued through Thanksgiving dinner, all the tension that the party had eased filled the room again.  Andy came down and fixed two plates, taking them back to their room for him and Dillon. Dillon wasn’t ready to face the team yet, even though Andy and Jamie tried to assure him that what happened wasn’t his fault.  Dillon just said no, he didn’t want to be around anyone.

After dinner, Jamie went back to his room.  He was surprised to find Sid sitting on the edge of the bed waiting for him.

“Grove send you?” 

“No.”  Sid stood up and walked over to where Jamie stood.  “Why didn’t you call me?”

“Ah.  Dumes called.”  Jamie avoided answering the question.

“No.”  Sid slipped his arms around Jamie’s waist and leaned up to kiss him.  “It was Geno if you have to know.”

“Of course it was.”

“He was worried about you.”  Sid stepped back when Jamie didn’t return the hug.  “I think he thinks you’re gonna call Ovi and have Pushkin taken care of, to use his words.”

“I haven’t, but now that you mention it, that’s not a bad idea.  Alex would do it for me.”

“Yes, he would.”  Sid smirked. “But that’s not the way to handle this.  Sit. We need to talk.”

Jamie grumbled and walked to one of the chairs instead of sitting on a bed.  Sid followed him and sat down on the bed. He leaned forward and put his hands on Jamie’s knees.

“You need to back off.”

“Huh?  I figured you of all people would understand why something needs to be done about this.”  Jamie started. “He needs to be gone. He needs to be in fucking jail, Sid.”

“You of all people should understand why Dillon doesn’t want that.”

Jamie sat up straight.  He was silent for several moments before his shoulders slouched and he leaned forward, putting his face in his hands.  Sid heard the tears come, then the soft sobs. He stood up and let Jamie’s head rest against him. 

“It’s okay, baby boy.  Let it out.” Sid said, rubbing his hands up and down Jamie’s back.  “It’s okay. You stopped him before he could really hurt Dillon.”

“How, Sid?  How did this happen here?” 

“It just happened.  Much as we like to think we’re above this, that the Pens are immune to this kind of thing, it happened.  I didn’t see it either. This isn’t on you, baby boy.”

“It is.  I should have… I knew, I knew something wasn’t right about him.”

“You didn’t want to see it, or believe it.  You had yourself convinced that a player like that couldn’t be on the Pens.  It’s okay. Dillon’s gonna be okay. Give him a little time. It’s his choice, Jame.  You know what he’s feeling right now. You didn’t want anything done, even after you came here and Sully wanted to go after the Ducks.”

“I wanted the Ducks to do something to Kesler.  Even if it was just… they didn’t do anything, Sid.  Murray acted like it was my fault that it happened. I don’t want that to happen to Dillon.  That can’t happen here.”

“It won’t.  He’s gonna be gone.  I talked to Mario.”

Jamie leaned back and looked up at Sid, who wiped the tears away from Jamie’s cheeks.

“He’s gone?” 

“He will be.  Just gotta go through the proper steps.  All that legal due process stuff.”

“I’ll believe it when I see it.”  Jamie sighed.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There were eight of them sitting around the large meeting room table.  Jordan Grove sat at the head, starting at his left and going around were Mario, Jamie, Mike, Dillon, a Russian interpreter, Pushkin’s lawyer Stan Bordan, and Yuri.  Jordan had just laid out the disciplinary action that was going to be taken by the Penguins.

Jamie was livid.

“That’s fucking bullshit.”

Mike reached over under the table and put a hand on Jamie’s leg.

“Jamie.”  He said lowly.  “It’s…”

“It’s fucking nothing.  You’ll put him on waivers?  That’s it?” If looks could kill, both Jordan Grove and Yuri Pushkin would be dead.  “So he can go to some other team and attack some other player?”

“We have no proof that Yuri did what he’s been accused of…”  Jordan started.

“Maybe the fact that he admitted it?”  Jamie fumed. “And that Dillon was out could with that asshole climbing on top of him when I got there?  How much fucking proof do you need?”

“Mr. Pushkin was confused when he was being questioned in the hotel room.  He’d just been attacked by his team captain. He’d been drinking alcohol. And he misunderstood what was being asked.  He thought that when you said he had drugged Mr. Chamberlain that you meant he had given him alcohol. He freely admits that he gave him a drink.  One drink, and that Mr. Chamberlain became ill after just a few sips. He says that Mr. Chamberlain asked him for help in getting up to a hotel room.  Since he didn’t have a key card on him, my client took the young man to his room. He was helping him when Mr. Crosby burst into the room and viciously attacked Mr. Pushkin.”  Attorney Bordan extolled Pushkin’s side of the story.

“He was helping him?  He was… oh my god, that is the most preposterous thing I’ve heard yet.  He had Dillon half naked and was climbing up on top of him. I know exactly what he was going to do.”  Jamie stated.

Dillon just sat with his head down, eyes focused on his hands in his lap.  He and Jamie hadn’t talked about what happened except for Dillon to repeat that he didn’t want anything done.  Jamie wasn’t even sure Dillon wanted Pushkin off the team. He was being tight-lipped and reserved about the whole thing.

“That is not what happen.”  Pushkin said after the translator got done. 

“Yuri has agreed that he won’t press charges against you Jamie, if we simply place him on waivers.  If no team picks him up, the Pens will buy out his contract and he’ll return to the KHL. No mention of the incident will be made public and it will just be noted that he’d rather play there than be reassigned to the AHL.”  Grove told Jamie.

“Let him fucking press charges.”  Jamie glared across the table.

“Jamie, language.”  Sully warned again. This time it was Mario that put a hand on Jamie’s arm to control him.

“Fuck my language.  I can’t believe this shit.  It’s just like… oh my god… I never thought the Pens would ever be like them.  I thought this team was better than that. Fucking horseshit. You’re gonna just let him get away with this?”

“Dillon has expressed his wish that the incident not be made public in the league.  He was not injured in any way. He was able to return to play after missing only one game, as a precaution.  Doctor Marino has cleared him physically. I think we have to respect his wishes.” Grove stated.

“Dillon?”  Jamie leaned forward and looked at the youngster.  “Are you sure?”

Dillon couldn’t look up, he simply nodded his head slowly.

“Fine.  There’s nothing public.  But that asshole doesn’t even get a chance to play for another team.  Either he’s suspended for the rest of the season or you buy him out upfront and he goes back to fucking Russia.  I don’t give a rat’s ass about him playing over there. I don’t want there to be any chance Dillon has to play against him here.”  Jamie huffed loudly and sat back in his seat.

“No.”  Pushkin said.  “I play here.”

“You know what?  Fuck you.” Jamie swore at him.  “Go ahead and file charges against me.  I have witnesses and I was defending my teammate.  What’s the worst that can happen, I get fined for simple assault?”

“It would be aggravated assault, Mr. Crosby.  You broke my client’s nose.” Bordan said. “That would involve jail time.  And most likely the end of your playing career. I believe, you’ve been in a similar situation before?  You have a history of violent behavior.”

“I what?  You’ve got to be kidding.  That incident happened a long time ago and has nothing to do with him attacking Dillon.  You’re fucking delusional, Yuri, if you think you could win that case.” Jamie said, his anger rising.  He looked over at Dillon, who still hadn’t moved and hadn’t said a word. Dillon’s face was pale and he looked like he was going to be sick any moment.  Jamie knew that look, it was the same way he’d looked and felt when…

“You want to know what does have bearing on this incident?  Try the fact that nothing was done when this happened ten years ago in Anaheim.  I watched them…” Jamie’s voice caught, he cleared his throat and paused for a minute, holding his bottom lip between his teeth.  He let if snap out and continued. “I watched them turn a blind eye to what one of my teammates did to me. I let them blame me for what happened.  I ended up getting traded and nothing… abso-fucking-lutely nothing… happened to him.”

Jamie leaned forward, almost threateningly, towards Pushkin.  Both Sully and Mario held onto Jamie’s arms.

“I let them do nothing.  I can understand Dillon’s position.  I didn’t want anybody to know. But I also watched my teammates do nothing.  Not the Captain, not any of them. They had to have known, some of them had to have known at that party what he was planning on doing.  I wasn’t the first rookie he’d hazed. And they did nothing. It was only because of one guy that did stand up and say something about the hazing, after the fact, that it was even brought out to management.  What did it get that guy? He got traded, too.” Jamie paused again, trying to stay in control of the anger that continued to simmer close to the boiling point. “That, Mr. Bordan, is why I know exactly what your client was going to do to Dillon.   If I’d been doing my job, he’d have never gotten the chance. But I didn’t think that kind of thing would ever happen on this team… my team.” Jamie glanced over at Grove. “I’m not about to sit back and let him get away with it. He’s gone. He’s gone off this team.  He can go back to Russia for all I care. He can file charges against me for all I care. But he doesn’t get away with it. And if you want to play hardball, I’ll be glad to take this public whether Dillon wants to or not. I’ll bring out all the dirty little secrets in this league.  I’ll take it to the IHF and make sure he never plays hockey or has anything to do with any hockey ever again. If it costs me my career, so be it. Dillon will be okay. I’ll make sure of it. I’ll take care of him. And I’m certainly in a position to take care of myself now. I’m not some 18 year old scared rookie who can be intimidated and bullied into staying quiet anymore.”

Jamie sat back and crossed his arms defiantly over his chest.  He glanced to his left and saw that Dillon was sitting up, staring at him, shock written on his face.  He hadn’t known about Anaheim. Grove looked similarly shocked. He hadn’t known either. Mario and Sully sat back as well, relaxing their hold on Jamie’s arms.  Neither let their emotions show, but both were feeling extremely proud of Jamie. They’d have his back in this.

You could have heard a pin drop in the room.

“I will do what Jamie said.”  Dillon finally spoke, his words soft and shaky.  

“What’s that Dillon?”  Grove asked.

“Unless Yuri leaves the league, I will press charges.  I will support Jamie.” Dillon said with more certainty.  “I know that I hadn’t been drinking anything but water. Andy knows that.  Andy knows that one drink wouldn’t make me pass out or sick, as Yuri claims.  He knows Yuri gave me that one drink. I think Jamie is right, let’s see who’s court case has more proof.”

“That’s my boy.”  Jamie said under his breath.

Pushkin sat quietly as the translator finished.  He glared across the table at Jamie, who glared back.  Pushkin said something in Russian.

“He says you’re bluffing.”  The translator said. “You won’t tell anyone.”

“Try me.”  Jamie didn’t flinch.

Pushkin did.  He turned to his attorney, looking completely defeated.

“I will go back to Russia.”  He said. Without another word, he got up and walked out briskly.

“Jamie, I didn’t know.”  Grove said. “If I had…”

“It would have made a difference?  I don’t think so, but that’s okay.”  Jamie voice was still edged with tension.  “I didn’t do anything ten years ago. I couldn’t sit back and let that happen again.  This is my team, Mr. Grove. They’re my teammates. Dillion will always be my rookie. I need them to know that I have their back, that I’m not going to let things happen on my team that happen on other teams.  You’d probably be surprised at what some of your players have experienced in this league.”

“I don’t know if I’d be surprised, Jamie.”  He answered. “I’m sorry, though. I’m sorry that I didn’t think I needed to do more.  That I was acting just like everyone else, ignoring what was best for the team, not standing up for my players.  I’m not… trust me, it won’t happen again on our team.”

Grove addressed Bordan.  “Inform your client that we will not be buying out his contract.  The press release will state that he has chosen to end his contract with the Pens and return to Russia.  He can play in the KHL if he wants.” Grove looked at Jamie, who nodded. “Nothing will be said.”

\------------------------------------------------------------

They walked to the elevator in silence.

They rode to the ground floor in silence.

They walked to the parking lot in silence.

Dillon acted a few times as if he wanted to say something.  He didn't. He just followed along behind Jamie, his head down.

They got in Jamie’s Jeep, but Jamie didn’t start it.  He just sat with his hands gripping the wheel tightly, staring straight ahead.  Dillon waited.

“I’m sorry.”  Jamie sounded tired when he finally spoke.  “I shouldn’t have done that. It wasn’t my choice to make, to threaten to make everything public.  That’s your choice, your right.”

“It’s okay.”  Dillon whispered.

“I just… I couldn’t let it go, Dils.  Not this time. Not after…”

“Why didn’t you say something.  Why didn’t you tell me what had happened to you?”

“I stopped thinking about it a long time ago.  I was safe here, with Sid. I put it out of my mind.”  Jamie tucked his chin to his chest. “I shouldn’t have.  I should have… he never should have even gotten a chance to try that stunt.  I’m really sorry, Dils.”

“You stopped him.  That’s what’s important.”  Dillon looked out the window and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly.  “Would you have really done what you said? Gone public to the league?”

“I learned a long time ago that idle threats don’t work.  You need to be prepared to back them up with your actions. So…”  Jamie looked at Dillon, his face serious, jaw set.

“So… yes.”

“Yes.”

“I’m glad he backed down then.”  Dillon half-smiled. He hadn’t smiled much since that night, Jamie thought.

“Me too, Dils.  Me too.” Jamie smiled back.  “Would you have done what you said?”

“I hope I’d be able to go through with it.  I don’t know.” Dillon looked out the window again.  “I just want to forget about it.”

“It’ll take time.”  Jamie patted Dillon’s thigh.  “What say we go home and get the gang.  I’m thinking some of Grace’s pie would help.”

“Yeah.  Yeah, that’s… yeah…”  Dillon smiled a little broader.  

It was a start, Jamie thought.


	9. Lexie

Things felt different, yet the Pens kept losing.  December was awful.

The only high point of the month was getting Kylie a puppy.  Stanley, the German Shepherd puppy, is a handful. After just a couple of weeks, though, he is totally devoted to Kylie.  And, to Jamie’s surprise, Kylie is actually still helping take care of him. She dutifully fixes his food and takes him out in the backyard to potty and play.  It was love at first site for both of them and it’s only getting better.

They had also adopted Lexie, a 10-year-old Shepherd mix that had come to the shelter after her elderly owner died.  Lexie was also completely devoted to Kylie. She let Kylie dress her up. They had tea parties. They played dolls. They did all the things puppy Stanley was too small to do right now.  The best thing was playing hockey with Lexie. She blocked shots and chased the puck. She would spend hours playing hockey with Kylie.

Home life was good. 

Hockey life sucked.

“I should step down as captain.”

“Why on earth would you do that?” 

Sid had heard this since the start of the season.  It was always the same. It was getting old.

“We suck.”

“You don’t.”  Sid sighed.

“We can’t get our act together.”

“It takes time.  Change is hard.” Sid reassured him.  “They’re behind you. They trust you. After what you did, standing up for Dillon, they’d follow you to the ends of the world.”

“I don’t need them to do that.  I need them to play better hockey.”

“Ugh.”  Sid groaned.  “Look, it’ll come.  What’s that standard pep talk you give?  You can’t control what anyone else does, all you can do is go out and play your game.  Play your best hockey. Sometimes you need to take your own advice, baby boy.”

“But…”

“No buts… just play hockey.  The rest will come.”

Jamie had his doubts.  They were practically in the basement, 28 of 32 teams in the league.  It would be an uphill battle to get to the playoffs at this point.

The Pens were on the road most of December, so Jamie was happy to get a three-day break at Christmas to just be home and hang out with the family.  On Christmas Eve morning he got up early to go for a run. As he was putting on his running shoes, he heard the soft click click click of dog toenails on the stairs.  A second later Lexie was by his side. 

“Hey girl.”  Jamie scratched behind her ear and Lexie pressed her head to his hand.  “You gotta go out?”

He went to the French doors leading to the backyard and opened them to let her out, but she didn’t go.  She went to the front door and waited.

“I’m going for a run, not a walk.  You don’t want to go.”

Lexie looked up at him and then looked at the door again.

“Okay.”  Jamie grabbed her leash and snapped it on her collar.  “Maybe a short walk.”

As the walked the first couple of blocks, Lexie was out at the end of the leash, walking at a brisk pace after having stopped a couple of times to pee.  It was fast enough that Jamie decided to try jogging. Lexie fell right in beside him, keeping pace. She seemed to be loving it. Jamie didn’t want to push her, so he only made a small loop, five miles.  When they got back to the house, she went into the backyard for a bit, then came in and fell asleep on her bed in the kitchen as Jamie fixed breakfast.

Christmas morning it was the same thing.  Lexie appearing at his side and wanting to go with him.  When it kept happening on the mornings Jamie was home, he decided to see if he could find out some more about her.  Obviously, she was used to going for a run, but her owner had been an elderly gentleman. It didn’t seem like something he would do.  Jamie called the shelter.

“I didn’t think about telling you anything about her.  You seemed to just want her right away.” The lady said.  “She was brought to the shelter by the gentleman’s grandson.  He’d lived with his grandfather the last year. He had cried so hard when he left her, he just couldn’t keep the house and was moving away.  He couldn’t take her. He said that she’d been his running companion. Almost every day for the last year. He said despite her age, she loved to go with him.”

That explained it.  Jamie thanked her for the information.  He was happy to have her join him. As they became running companions, Jamie found himself talking to Lexie.  It was like having Cat with him on those hard days after Kyle had died. Like Cat, Lexie listened. And didn’t judge…

… or did she.

“Did you just roll your eyes at me?”  Jamie glanced down at Lexie. He was sure she had done it when he started talking about the Pens latest loss.  “You did, didn’t you.”

She barked at him, a soft muffled sound.

“You’re siding with Sid?”  Jamie continued. “I should have known.  Okay. So maybe last night wasn’t as bad as I think it was.”  They’d only lost 3-2. “What’s our problem, Lex. It’s January and any chance at the playoffs is slipping away.  That’s what I’m gonna be remembered for, missing the playoffs my first year as captain. Just fucking great, huh.”

Lexie stopped.  Jamie thought she had to pee, but she just stood and stared at him.  Large brown eyes intent on his.

“What?”

She just stared, not tipping her head, not barking.  She stared.

Jamie looked into her eyes, trying to figure out what was wrong.  And she blinked. Slowly. Deliberately. And shook her head at him.

“I don’t get it.”  Jamie shrugged. And there it was, the eye roll again.  Lexie turned and tugged at the leash as if saying let’s go.  They started running again.

“I don’t know what I’m doing.”  Jamie said after a short time. “What was I thinking taking the C.  I’m not made for this.”

Lexie came to a stop again, almost tripping Jamie this time.

“What the fuck, Lex?”

And there they were, those dark brown eyes staring at him intently.  Jamie swears she huffs at him.

“You want me to stop?  You are just like Sid, tired of listening to me complain already.  Fine. Whatever.” Jamie tugged the leash. “Come on then. We’ll just finish our run.”

They were in one of the parks.  Lexie pulled against the leash, not wanting to go even though Jamie kept pulling and telling her to come.  She dragged him towards one of the park benches. Jamie gave up trying to continue their run and sat down on the bench.  Lexie sat on the ground beside him, resting her head and one paw on his lap.

“It’s too cold to just sit out here girl.  We need to keep going.”

Lexie looked up at him.  Her eyes warm, and soft, and something Jamie couldn’t pinpoint. 

“You want me to talk about it?”  He reached down and rubbed the top of her head.  She nudged his hand. “Okay. Let’s start at the beginning of the season then.”

Jamie sat and talked for about 45 minutes, Lexie listening intently.  She would lift her head occasionally, shake it or nod. At least Jamie thought that was what she was doing.  She pawed at him a couple of times, as if patting him and saying it was okay. It was just weird. It was as if she was…

“I swear to god, Sid, she’s human.  She’s a human trapped in a dog body.”

Sid laughed, he patted the couch to get Lexie to jump up and lie down between them.  “I don’t think so, baby boy. But she is a smart girl, aren’t you Lex. Smarter than Daddy.”

“Ha ha.  I’m telling you, she made me sit down and talk things out.  And it was like, she was Janet almost. I swear, if she could talk she’d have been telling me all kinds of things.”

“You mean, she didn’t talk to you?”  Sid deadpanned. “I mean, just the other day she was telling me…”

“Asshole.”  Jamie scowled.  “I’m not crazy, Sid.  I’m being serious here.  It was like she knew just what I was saying.”

“And you worked out all the world’s problems?  Talking to Lex?”

“No.  Not the world’s problems.  But I think I figured out somethings about what I think my problems are, and the team’s.  I have an idea how to address some things finally.”

“You gonna enlighten me?”  Sid asked. “Or, should I just wait for Lexie to tell me later?”

“You’re an asshole” Jamie sighed again.  He got up off the couch. “I’m going to bed.

The next morning, Jamie got up and went to practice.  He took Lexie with him.


	10. The Therapist Is In

_“What do you think it means?”_   Andy asked Dillon as they looked at the list of player names and times written on the team message board.

 _“Maybe we are all getting called in for a meeting with Grove?”_ Dillon laughed.  _“They are trading us all.”_

Andy frowned.  _“You think?”_

 _“Andy, really?  It’s in Jamie’s handwriting.  He is probably going to talk to us individually about the season.”_   Dillon surmised.  _“It’s nothing bad.  Quit worrying.”_

After practice, their questions were answered as Jamie held a players-only meeting in the media room.

“I think this team needs help.  Professional help.”

There were some snickers from around the room and a muffled, “you speaking from experience,” comment that Jamie let pass. 

“You saw the list of times and dates on the board.  That is the schedule for everyone to meet with the new team therapist.”

That brought groans and complaining.

“There are several rules that you will abide by for the next two weeks before the break for the Olympics.”  Jamie ignored the protests.  “First, you will make your appointed session.  No excuses.  They are scheduled starting today on practice days.  Note that it’s the vets listed first.  I talked to them to make sure they didn’t have any commitments for today before I scheduled them.  The rest of you can change your schedules to fit the therapy in.  If you absolutely cannot make the appointment because a prior commitment can’t be changed, you need to let me know ASAP and I’ll reschedule your session.”

Jamie looked around the room, making eye contact with each of them to reinforce that rule.

“Good.  Okay, next you will not talk to anyone about your therapy session.  No one.  Not teammates.  Not significant others.  Not family.  Not the press.  No.  One.  Is that clear.  You are not at any time to reveal the identity of the therapist to your teammates that have not seen them.  Is that clear.”  Jamie watched for the head nods.  He got several looks of confusion.

“Oh my god, he set us up with a sex therapist.”  Marcus joked.

“Is not sex therapist.”  Geno countered quickly.  “This is not joke.  This is for good of team.”

“Thanks, G.”  Jamie let himself smile at Geno’s sternness.  “This isn’t a joke.  Okay, next.  Therapy sessions are strictly confidential.  What you talk about, do, during your session is between you and the therapist.  So, feel free to talk about anything you want.  If, after everyone has seen the therapist for an initial session, you can opt for more one on one sessions.  You’ll schedule them through me.  At that time, we will also start having a group session.”

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”  Came a protest from the back of the room.  “I’m not doing some touchy, feely bullshit group love fest.”

“Maybe will be group hate fest.”  Geno snapped.  “You will do, Wheeler, or maybe we use session to beat you up.”

The group got very quiet.

“It won’t be either of those things, relax boys.  Look, this is going to be good for us.  I really think so.  And I’m serious about this and so is management.  The last thing you need to understand is that, if you miss your session there will be consequences.  You’re scratched the next game.  If you miss the rescheduled session, you’re scratched until you have it.  And fined.  Per day.  This is a team mandatory activity.  As per your contract, it is covered under the little clause of all other team related functions as determined by management, with or without prior notice.”

Jamie glanced at Geno.  “G, you’re up first today.  The therapist is in treatment room one.”

Geno nodded, a big grin coming to his face.

“Any problems, boys?”  Jamie asked.  He didn’t wait for any complaints.  “Good.  You’re excused for the day unless you’re on the schedule.”

\--------------------------------------------------

The sign on the door read _The Therapist is In._ Below that, was a sign that the players were to flip over when they went into the room, it read _Session in Progress Do Not Disturb._ Dillon knocked on the door, waited a second, then flipped the sign around and walked in.

“Hello?”

He heard a soft thumping.

“Lex?”  He said when he saw her sitting next to a recliner that had been brought into the room for the sessions.  “What are you doing here?”

He looked around the room.  There was no one else here, and only the one chair.

“Where’s the therapist?”  He sat down in the recliner.  Lexie laid her head on his thigh.  “Wait.  Are you?”  She put her paw up on his leg and he scratched behind her ears.  “Well, okay then, this isn’t going to be as bad as I thought.  What should we talk about?”

Lexie raised her head and tipped it to the side as if saying, “well, duh.”

“Pushkin.”  Andy sighed.  “I don’t know.”

Dillon hadn’t talked to anyone about what had happened, not really.  He’d gone to see a counselor, at the team’s insistence, but he only went once.  He told everyone he was fine.  He didn’t remember much.  It was over with.  But it wasn’t. 

Lexie pawed at his leg and nudged his hand with her nose.  Dillon stroked her head and she settled it back down on his lap.

“Okay, girl.”  He said.  “I’ll tell you.  But you gotta promise you won’t tell anyone else.”

\------------------------------------------------------------------

Jack Wheeler had done nothing but bitch for three days as his therapy session approached.  He wasn’t happy, to say the least.  Then he heard the whispered rumors.  He went to his captain.

“I’m not doing this.”

“You are.  Mandatory.”  Jamie didn’t look up as he sat in the player’s lounge doing the crossword puzzle in the paper.

“No.  I’m not.”  Wheeler said determinedly.  “Look.  I know we’re not allowed to talk, but come on, guys are gonna do it anyway and well, I’ve heard that, well…”

Jamie looked up.  “You’ve heard what?”

“The therapist is… a dog.  A big dog.” 

Wheeler looked panicked, the color drained from his face, he rocked back and forth nervously.

“That’s a problem?”

“I, uh, I’ve never been around dogs.  I don’t… they, um…”  He hemmed and hawed.

“They scare you?”

“Yeah.”  He looked down at the ground as his face turned red, the flush of embarrassment stronger than the pallor of fear.  “I guess you could say that.”

Jamie waited a few seconds, weighing the situation.  Wheeler’s fear had looked genuine.

“Have you ever had a bad experience with a dog?  Like did you get bit or anything?”

“Not bit, but, when I was little.  A neighbor’s dog was really aggressive.  They kept it tied out on a chain and it barked and growled whenever I was outside playing.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?  I don’t have to do this?”

“No.  Okay, I get it.”  Jamie motioned for him to sit down.  “Lexie is her name.  There’s a letter in the room for the guys that don’t know her.  She’s our dog.  She’s ten and she doesn’t have a mean bone in her body.”

“But…”

“When’s your appointment again?”

“In an hour.”  Wheeler answered.

“I’ll meet you at the room then.  If, after you meet Lex you really can’t do this, okay.  You can opt out because of the emotional stress.  But you go see one of the team recommended counselors for a session instead.  Deal?”

“Uh.  I guess so.  If I have to.”

“Mandatory.”  Jamie said, going back to his puzzle.  “See you in an hour.”

Wheeler sat there for a minute expecting more.  When Jamie didn’t look up again, he got up and left.  An hour later, he saw Jamie waiting outside the therapy room.

“Ready?”  Jamie asked, opening the door.

“I guess.”  Wheeler said.  He stepped into the room and Jamie followed him, closing the door behind them.

Lexie sat on the far side of the room, in front of one of the miniature nets used for drills.  Wheeler’s stick and several pucks were laying on the floor a few feet away from her.

“Lex, this is Jack.  Jack, Lexie.”  Lexie raised her leg and pawed at the air.

“Is she waving to me?” 

“She’s saying hello.  Something Kylie taught her.”

Wheeler waved slowly.  “Hi, Lexie.”

“Okay.  So, now you’ve met.  Doin okay?”

“No.” 

Jamie noticed he looked pale again.

“So, here’s what I want you to do.  You’re gonna play hockey with Lex.  She’s a hell of a goalie.  Just don’t go teeing one off, okay.  Nothing too hard.  And you talk while you play.  I guarantee you she’ll stay in goal unless you call her over.  I’ll be right outside the door if you have a problem or need me.  Okay.  Just give it a try.”

“You want me to hit her with pucks?”  Wheeler asked incredulously.  “And she’s not gonna attack me for that?”

“Nope.  She’s gonna play hockey.”  Jamie smiled.  “Right, Lex?”

She woofed softly and stood up.

Wheeler walked over cautiously and picked up his stick.  “Wait for a sec, okay, before you leave.”  He carefully lined up a shot and lightly slapped the puck at the goal.  Lexie blocked it easily and wagged her tail happily.  She jumped back and forth waiting for the next shot.  Wheeler wristed another one at the net and Lexie blocked it.

“Hey.  You’re better than Muzz.”  He laughed.  “Bet you can’t get this one.”

Jamie grinned and slipped out of the room quietly as Wheeler tried going top shelf.  Lexie went up on her back legs and knocked the puck out of the air.

“Damn.”  He heard Wheeler laugh.

When he came out a short time later, he had a huge grin on his face.

“How’d you do?”  Jamie asked.

“Two.  I got two past her.”  He shook his head.  “And we talked.  I, uh, I’d like a rematch, I think.  If I could.”

“That can be arranged.”  Jamie slapped him on the back.  “I haven’t scored against her yet.”

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Over the next two weeks, Jamie watched the team make their way, one-by-one, into the treatment room.  Each time, they looked like they were on their way to the gallows.  Each time, they came out smiling.  Each time, they came to Jamie and requested future sessions.

The feel of the room changed; the underlying tension slipped away.  There was more laughter again, more joking.  The smiles came back to their faces.  And… the wins started coming. 

It would be an uphill climb when the season picked up again after the Olympic break.  At least Jamie felt more hopeful, more optimistic about making the playoffs than he had two weeks ago.  The Pens went into the break riding a four-game win streak.


	11. Friends... And Enemies

“All my bags are packed.  I’m ready to go.” Jamie sang as he checked his bags for the trip to Stockholm.  It was a small contingent of Penguins playing in the Olympics this year, just Jamie and Brian for the U.S., Dillon for Canada, and Andy for Austria.  They would make the roughly nine-hour flight in the Penguins charter and would be in Stockholm for the opening ceremony. Sid, Kylie and the rest of the families would follow in a few days. Jamie wished they could be there the entire time, but it was necessary… cutting down the time the kids would be out of school. 

 

He thought about how different this Olympic experience was going to be.  No Sid. No Geno. No Ovi. No Hornqvist. No to a lot of players that had been there in 2022.  It was a younger crowd, a younger man’s game, Sid had said. Jamie didn’t think of himself as being young. 

At 28 he was the same age Sid had been when they first met.  He’d never thought of Sid as being old back then, but now, he felt old.  It had to be the stress. 

He felt like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders.

But… he was happy to be playing in the Olympics again.  The problem was, that it was secondary to the NHL. That was what was important, where he earned his keep.  For the Penguins, he had mixed emotions about the break. In one aspect, they needed it. 

He knew from experience how tough it was the year after winning the Cup.  It had been an extraordinary team that had won it back-to-back his first two years with the Pens.  He didn’t know if this team had it in them. At this point, he’d be happy to just make the playoffs.

The worry about the break was that he finally had things working for the team.  The therapy sessions with Lexie had worked miracles with team morale and mood. They were winning.  Mind you it was just four games in a row, but Jamie would take that. He was worried that the break would derail the forward progress.

He shook his head, clearing his thoughts and focusing on the next two weeks ahead. Playing for Team USA, the Olympics. The chance to add another gold medal to the collection… not that he was playing for the medal, but it would look nice in their collection. 

It would be nice being in a hockey country for the Olympics.  Sweden was going to be fun. Jamie and the others would be staying in the Olympic village.  Family would be staying at either the Hornqvist residence, or at Hags’ house, which he’d opened up for anyone who needed a place.  All within easy travel distance to the ice hockey venues. Sid had gotten everybody tickets to take in several other events, as well, things that didn’t conflict with the games.  They’d be going to watch luge, one of the downhill skiing days, and a women’s hockey game. 

“You all set?”  Sid said as he walked into the bedroom.  His voice brought Jamie out of the trance he’d been in thinking about the team and the break.

“Yeah, I guess.”  Jamie sighed. “Remind me to call and check on Cheese Dip, make sure they’re all set.”

“What time are you picking them up tomorrow?” 

“I told them four o’clock.”  Jamie answered. “That gives us plenty of time to get out to the airport and checked in.”

“Brian’s driving himself?”

“Kayla’s taking him out, I think.  I offered, but I’m barely gonna have room for three equipment bags, let alone cramming a fourth one in the Jeep.” 

“There’s more room in the Rover.  Take it.”

“Nah.  I already took the car seat out of the Jeep.  I’ll be fine.”

Sid walked up behind Jamie and slipped his arms around his waist.  He rested his head on Jamie back. “So, what should we do for the rest of the day?”

“House to ourselves.  No kid. No dogs.” Everybody was at Luc and Diane’s for the day so Jamie and Sid could have some alone time.  “I have a thought about what we can do.”

“Nap?”  Sid chuckled.

“Nap.” 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

They took off a little after 6 PM Pittsburgh time.  Jamie tuned out the world and slept most of the flight.  He woke up a couple of times and glanced out the window past Brian.  It was a beautiful clear night for the flight. Good weather, no turbulence.  It made the long flight bearable. They touched down in Stockholm just before 9 AM local time.

They got to the village a short time later.  Jamie and Brian would be rooming with Larkin and Matthews again.  It would be just the four of them in the two-bedroom suite, this time.  Not too bad, Jamie thought. Both of them were pretty quiet and low energy at this point, as well.  Benefits of being the captain and returning players. They’d gotten to pick their roommates instead of a random drawing.  He could only have imagined how much sleep he wouldn’t be getting if he had to room with the Hughes boys or some of the other kids.  Kids. Jesus, he thought. They aren’t that much younger than you. He really needed to stop thinking of himself as old. The problem was, that 28 in the hockey world was old. 

There wasn’t any sign that Matts or Larks had gotten in yet.  Brian and Jamie picked their bedroom and dropped their bags.

“Want to do some sight-seeing?”  Jamie asked.

“Sure.”  Brian agreed.  He’d slept most of the overnight flight as well.  “See what the village has to offer?”

As they started down the hallway, they ran into a familiar face.

“Goo.”  Brian greeted Jake Guentzel happily.  “Gonna be fun playing together again.”

“Speak for yourself.”  Jamie jammed his hands in his pockets instead of shaking Jake’s.  “Traitorous bastard.”

“I’m not a traitor.  Geez, it’s been three years.”

“You’re a traitor.”  Jamie said coldly. “And you broke my daughter’s heart.  I’m never forgiving you for that.”

“It’s a business.  I got a good offer.  What was I supposed to do?”  Jake offered in his defence.

“You could have stayed.”

“They were never going to give me that kind of money.  You know that.”

“Sometimes it’s not about the money.”  Jamie said. “And a four-year-old doesn’t understand that it’s just business.”

“I’m sorry about that.  But I did what I thought was best.”

“The Flyers?  You went to the fucking enemy, Jake.”  Jamie snapped. “Seriously?”

Jake didn’t respond. 

“She buried your sweater.  In her sandbox. She cried for weeks.”  Jamie said. “That was what hurt the most.  That you did that to her.”

“I took a better offer.  End of story.” Jake said matter-of-factly, but he looked down and scuffed the floor with his shoe, acting embarrassed.  

Or guilty.  Jamie wasn’t sure.

“That’s bullshit.”  Jamie glared. “I know what the Pens offered you.”

“You can’t, they didn’t tell anyone.”  Jake cringed.

“They countered the Flyers’ offer.  Added another 500,000 and a two mil signing bonus and you turned them down.  Why? Why’d you want to get out of Pittsburgh so bad?”

“I wanted a change of scenery.  Like it’s any of your business.”  Jake huffed. He shouldered between Jamie and Brian and walked away.

“Well that was fun.”  Brian said. “What’s your problem?”

“He broke her heart, you know that.  Didn’t come say good-bye, nothing. Just signed with them and left.”

“He must have had his reasons.”

“Whatever.”  Jamie shrugged.  “I’ll play with him for the next couple of weeks and then he can drop dead for all I care."

“Not everybody’s like you, Fluff.  Sometimes it is about more than just playing.  He was always ambitious, and he had his future to think about…”

“All he had to do was come say good-bye, Dumes.  That was all I asked. He wouldn’t.”

“You asked him to?”

Jamie nodded his head.

“Okay.  I get it.  I’d be pissed off too.” 

“She hasn’t seen him in three years.  Won’t even watch our games when we play the Flyers.”  Jamie said. “How do I let go of that?”

“You’ve let go of a lot of other things.  Worse things that people have done to you.”  Brian tried to reason.

“To me.”  Jamie said.  “Not to her.”

Brian let it drop, knowing that where Kylie was concerned, Jamie wouldn’t give an inch.  They wandered around the village for a while, stopping to do some shopping, visiting with other players they ran into.  They were having a good time, looking for something to eat, when Jamie saw him.

“Fuck.”  Brian heard Jamie swear.  “They’re letting him play?”

Brian turned around and scanned the people standing and sitting in the area where Jamie’s glare was focused.  It only took him a second to figure out who Jamie was talking about.

Pushkin.

He was wearing a team Russia sweatshirt.  Brian wasn’t really surprised by that fact; he was a strong forward and they’d lost a few players this time around.  Geno, Ovi and a bunch of the other vets weren’t playing.

“Fuck’s right.”  He said. “Come on, we can go somewhere else to eat.”

Jamie hesitated for a few seconds as Brian started to walk away, debating on confronting Pushkin.  He wanted to make sure Pushkin knew to stay away from Dillon and Andy, on and off the ice. Brian stopped, however, and tugged on his arm.

“Fluff, let’s go.  You’ll get your chance soon. Save it for the ice.”

Their second game of the tournament would be against Russia.

“Yeah.  Okay.” Jamie mumbled.  

He could wait.

 


	12. Coaching Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buh-bye Torts... but the change brings back bad memories from Jamie's past...

“What do you mean there aren’t gonna be any Kylie games?”

“Sorry, Mats, she’s coming with Sid to watch.  No Crosby Olympics this time around.” Jamie barely glanced up from the magazine he was flipping through as he sat on the couch in their suite.

“Well fuck.”  Auston groaned.  “That sucks. That was the best part last time.”

“Better than a gold medal?”  Jamie raised an eyebrow skeptically.  “Yeah, okay.”

“How can you say that?  The Kylie games were awesome.”  Dylan joins the conversation, flopping down on the couch next to Jamie.  “I can’t believe we aren’t going to get to see them again.”

“I have the last one saved, I could just show them all again.”  Jamie licked his fingers and flipped the page of the magazine. “That’s the best I can do, boys.  Sorry.”

Dylan sighed.  “I guess. If that’s all we can get.  I’ll set up a time and see who else wants to come.”

Dylan looked up at Auston and winked.  Auston just grinned back at him.

Jamie’s phone chirped.  A second later Auston, Dylan, and Brian’s phones all made noise as well.

_ Emergency Team Meeting – 20 Minutes – Building A27 Conference Room _

Jamie looked up after reading the message.  The others looked as confused as he was.

“What’s up?”  Brian questioned.  “We get tossed out already?”

“No clue.”  Jamie said. Just then his phone chirped again.

Sid:   _ Have you seen the news????????  Holy crap!!! _

Sid:   _ Do NOT dance into the locker room tomorrow!!!!!!!! _

“What?”  Auston asked as Jamie’s face scrunched up in confusion.

“Sid.  Says to watch the news.”

“Oh holy fucking shit!”  Dylan exclaimed. “Oh shit!”

“What happened?  Are we at war or something?” 

“Oh my god, no.  But we’re gonna have a new coach!”  Dylan said gleefully. He flipped his phone around to show them the headline. 

“Holy crap!”  Jamie smiled. “I mean, wow, that’s too bad.  I sure hope Torts is okay.”

“Oh stop tryin’.”  Brian laughed at Jamie’s attempt at sincerity.

“So, I wonder who they’ll get on short notice.”  Auston said, taking Dylan’s phone to read the article.  “Does it say?”

“Don’t care, don’t care!”  Jamie jumped up and started dancing.  “This just became the best Olympics ever.  No Torts! No Torts!”

“You can’t do that in front of the rest of the team.”  Auston admonished.

“Yeah, yeah.  That’s what Sid said.  But I can do it here!”

Twenty minutes later, Jamie and the rest of Team USA sat in the conference room waiting for the meeting to start.

“Who do you think they’ll get?”  Jack Hughes leaned forward and whispered in Jamie’s ear.

Jamie turned.  “Why are you whispering?”

“I just…”  Jack looked embarrassed.

“I don’t know who’ll they’ll get.”  Jamie smiled, which seemed to make Jack relax a little.

“I hope Coach Tortorella is okay.”  Jack offered, looking concerned.

Brian reached over and smacked Jamie’s leg.  “Don’t.”

Jamie suppressed his grin.  “Sid said the news said it wasn’t serious.  Chest discomfort. Just precautionary that he’s in the hospital at this point.  I’m sure he’ll be okay.”

Jamie turned back around, and the grin reappeared.

“Good boy.”  Brian said lowly.

“Thank you.  I’m trying not to be too happy.”

“You’re doing oh so well.”  Brian said sarcastically.

Everybody straightened when Ray Shero and the other U.S. Hockey powers entered the room.  Shero stood at the front of the room while the others mingled off to the side. Jamie looked for John Hynes, who had been named as an assistant coach.  Even though he told Jack he didn’t know who they’d get, he was sure they would just name Hynes as the coach.

“Thank you all for coming and for waiting patiently, sorry that we’re running late.  We had another situation arise and had to do some scrambling.” Shero said solemnly. “As you’ve all heard, John Tortorello is in the hospital after having a cardiac incident.  They’ve run tests and it looks like he’s going to end up with some stents and will be off for a while. He’s expected to make a complete recovery and be back behind the bench in a few weeks.”

“That’s too fucking bad.”  Jamie coughed into his hand.

“Stop it.”  Brian scolded, smacking Jamie’s leg.

Shero glared at Jamie for a moment, then continued.  “We were going to have John Hynes move up to the head coach spot, but unfortunately, he is not going to be available.  That’s why we were late. Coach Hynes has had a family emergency come up. Nothing serious, but he had to return home.”

“Well crap.”  Jamie said. “Maybe they’ll get Sully.”

“We’ve asked several others and have not been able to get a commitment.  We’ve reached out to the women’s national team and their assistant coach has agreed to step up and coach for us.”

“Who’s coaching…”  Brian leaned over and whispered.

“Hilary?”  Jamie said out loud.  “Hilary Knight’s going to be our coach?”

“Is that a problem, Mr. Crosby?”  Shero asked, a bit defensively.

Jamie stood up and looked around the room, making eye contact with each of the players.  He turned to face Shero.

“No, sir.  That is absolutely not a problem.  She’s proven herself as a pretty good coach at the University of Minnesota.  I can guarantee you that she’ll be treated with respect. If not,” he glanced over his shoulder, “I’ll deal with it.”

Shero visibly relaxed.  He’d been expecting a fight.  Jamie standing up and indicating he’d not accept any hassle over the issue was a surprise.

“That’s good, Jamie.  I was going to say that she is to be treated like any other coach, but I know how you are.”  Shero chuckled. “Please treat her better than you treat other coaches.”

That brought out some laughs from the boys, including Jamie.  He sat down again, grinning from ear to ear.

“You’re way to happy.”

“She ain’t Torts, Dumes.  That’s all that matters.” Jamie said.  “They could hire whoever they wanted at this point and I’d be happy.”

“That’s good that you say that Jamie.  After we offered Hilary the head coaching spot, we received a call from another coach who had changed his mind.  We offered him the assistant spot and he accepted.” Shero looked back towards the door.

Jamie turned to look in the direction of Shero’s gaze.  A familiar face walked through the door with Hilary.

“Hilary.  Ryan. Glad you could make it.”  Shero welcomed them.

“Oh fuck.”  Brian swore under his breath.

He turned towards Jamie.  Jamie’s smile was gone and his face was flushed with anger.

“Oh fucking hell no.”  Jamie swore.

“Boys,”  Shero said.  “I think most of you know Ryan Kesler.”


	13. Don't Let The Bastard Win

The bedroom door slammed shut in Brian’s face.

“Is he okay?”  Auston stood just behind Brian.  “He didn’t say anything the whole way back.”

“I can’t believe they’d do this.  To him.  I mean, they have to know, right?  Shero?  Macormack?  The rest of them?  They have to know what he did.”  Dylan said.

“I’ll talk to him.  You guys just hang out for a bit, okay.”  Brian turned the handle and slowly, cautiously opened the door.  He half expected something to come flying at him.  When nothing did, he stepped into the darkened room.  He used his phone to light his way over to Jamie’s bed.

“Fluff?  You okay?”

“Fuck off.”  Jamie huffed, his voice mumbled. 

“I’ll take that as a no.”  Brian sat down on the edge of the bed next to Jamie, who was stretched out on his stomach, head buried under a pillow.  “What did they say?”

“Nothing.”

“They must have said something, or you wouldn’t be this pissed.”  Brian tapped Jamie’s ass.  “Come on, rollover and talk to me.”

Jamie rolled over on his side, facing Brian, and hugged the pillow tight to his chest.

“They aren’t going to get anybody else.  As I was told, they can’t find anybody else.”

“I find that hard to believe, but okay.  Sully wouldn’t come, knowing he’d replace Kesler?”

“Nope.  Sully told them no.  He’s away with his family.”  Jamie sighed.  “Shero said that for whatever reason, it’s like Team USA has the plague this year.  They can’t get anybody willing to coach.  Must be me, huh, since they made me captain, nobody wants to touch the team.  Anyway.  Shero’s exact words were that he’d have an easier time replacing me on the roster.  I can either play with asshole as the assistant coach or leave.”

“He didn’t?” Brian was shocked.  “Seriously?”

“Fucking straight up.  I can be replaced.”  Jamie groaned.  “God.  Just when one asshole goes, the biggest fucking piece of shit they could ever get shows up.  I’m done, Dumes.  I’m gonna leave.  I can’t.  I can’t do it.  I can’t be around him and act like it’s all okay.”

“It’s…”

“Don’t say but it’s been ten fucking years, Jamie.  You should be over it.  You should forgive and forget.  Fuck that shit.”

“I wasn’t going to say that.  I was going to say, it’s okay.  We’ll leave.”

“We’ll?”

“You don’t think for a minute that I’d stay and play for them after they hired that fucker?  It’s been ten years, Fluff, and I still want to put him through the boards for what he did.” 

There was a quick knock on the door then it opened.

“We’ll leave, too.”  Dylan said.

“You’re eavesdropping?”  Brian laughed.

“This works great.”  Auston held up a glass he’d used against the door to listen in on the conversation.

“God.”  Jamie groaned.

“We’re not gonna play for a team that promotes him.”  Dylan said.  “Most of the rest of the team, the older guys that know, have been texting, asking how you are.  I told them.  They all agree too.  We all walk.”

“One for all.”  Auston said.

“All for one.”  Dylan finished.

“The four Musketeers.”  Brian added.

“Don’t you mean, Mouseketeers?”  Jamie laughed.  “Okay.  One for all.”

__________________________________________________________________

Jamie’s phone was chirping repeatedly.  Then it rang.

“Jesus, Fluff.  Tell Sid it’s the middle of the fucking night.”  Brian groaned, rolling away from Jamie who reached to answer the call.

“What’s wrong?”  Jamie answered.

“Uh.  Nothing.  It’s um, it’s Dillon.  I need to talk to you.”

Jamie sat up and rubbed a hand over his face.  “What time is it?  What’s wrong?  Did something happen?”

“No.  I, uh, I heard something and I need to talk to you.”

“Pushkin?”

“No.  I’m downstairs.  Well, sitting outside.  Can you come?  Please.”

“Yeah.  Okay.  Be down in a minute.”  Jamie ended the call.

“Trouble?”

“Don’t know.  Dillon.  He sounds upset about something.”  Jamie got up and fumbled around to find a pair of sweats in the dark.  He found a sweatshirt and his jacket and slipped on his running shoes.  “I’ll call if I need you.”

“Kay.”  Brian said sleepily, rolling back over.  He was back asleep before Jamie was out the door.

Dillon was sitting on a bench, hunched over against the cold.  His legs were bouncing.  Jamie wondered if it was to stay warm or because of his nerves.  He sat down next to Dillon.

“What’s wrong?”

“Are you leaving?”

“The Olympics?  Yeah.”  Jamie saw the concern on Dillon’s face.  “Did you think I was leaving the Pens?”

“No.  I knew it was just the Olympics.  Why?”

“Something happened.  I don’t feel like I can play for the U.S. because of it.”

“What?  Kesler?”

“Yeah.  How did you know?”  As far as Jamie knew, Dillon had never been told who had assaulted Jamie, only that it had happened.  Maybe he just assumed it was because Kesler had been a Duck.

“But, you’ve played against him.  You played against him.  After what he did.” 

“Oh.”  Jamie dipped his chin to his chest sheepishly.  “You know then.”

“Yeah.  I know.  You wouldn’t let Pushkin stay cause you didn’t want me to have to see him.  Was that because you had to play against Kesler all those times?”

“Yeah.  I didn’t want you to have to go through that.”  Jamie sighed.  “And, nothing was ever done to Kesler.  I didn’t want Pushkin to get off that easy.  Like I said then, I’m not a rookie who can be pushed around and intimidated any more.”

“And I am?”

“That’s not what I meant, or why I did it.”

“He’s here.  I saw him earlier.  He smiled and winked at me.  Fucking bastard.”

“You’ll only see him if you both advance.”

“Andy will play him.  I’m worried.  He’s still so mad about what happened.  Blames himself for leaving me alone with him.”

“He couldn’t have known.”

“Yeah.  But you and Sid tried to warn us.  We fucked up.”

“No, you didn’t.  It wasn’t your fault.  None of it.  Don’t ever think that.  He’s a wolf, a predator, and he knew what he was doing.  It’s all on him.”

“You stood up to Kesler, I heard.  Put him into the boards.  Why are you leaving this time?  Why aren’t you standing up to him now?”

“I am.  I can’t make him leave.  I don’t have management support… again… so I can choose not to play.  It’s my choice, not theirs that way.”

“It is theirs.  They’re doing the same thing the Ducks did.  Intimidating you and getting you to walk away.  Wouldn’t it be better to stay?  To stand up to him and let him know he doesn’t have any power over you?”

“Where’d you read that?”  Jamie chuckled softly.

“An online group.”  Dillon smiled.  “Don’t give your attacker any more power.  I thought about asking to be scratched if we played Russia.  But then I thought, fuck him, I’m not letting him take this away from me.”

Jamie slipped his arm around Dillon’s shoulders and pulled him over into a hug.  “You’re pretty smart.  And pretty brave.  Braver than I was at your age.”

Dillon relaxed into Jamie’s embrace.  “Andy.”

“I’ll talk to him.  Okay.  Try to make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid.”  Jamie rested his head on top of Dillon’s.  “You sure about facing Pushkin?  You’ll be okay?”

“I think so.  I want, no, I think I need to.  Let him know he didn’t win by playing for Russia.  Will be some satisfaction in kicking his ass.”  Dillon’s voice got softer.  “Are you still gonna leave?”

“No.”  Jamie said confidently.  “I’m not letting them get rid of me this time.  You’re right, I stood up to him before.  I need to do it now.”

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I’m staying.”

“What?”  Auston almost spit out his coffee. “You’re kidding, right?”

“Nope.  I’m playing.  We’re all playing.”

“I’m confused.  Last night you said…” 

“I know what I said.  I know what you said.  But I thought about it and well, I’m staying.”

“I don’t understand.”  Auston shook his head.  “Why?  How?”

“I can’t let you guys all quit because of me.  That’s one reason.  There are others, but…”

“Yeah, you can let us.  It’s called being a team.  Being supportive.”

“I get that, but, it would also be pretty selfish of me.  I need to think about other people here.”

“You’re kidding.  Again I say… why?”

“Kylie.  She’s not going to understand if I suddenly am not playing.  She’s so excited she gets to come.  I can’t do that to her.”

“She’d understand as she got older.”

“Maybe.  Anyway.  It would just be wrong to have you guys give up on a chance to win another gold.”

“It’s just a medal.  You’re worth more than that.”  Auston stated.  “What’s really going on here.”

Jamie shrugged.  “That’s it.”

“Cros?”

“Okay.  If I give in, he wins.  Ultimately.  It means he’s chased me away.  Like I’m too afraid to face him.  To be around him.”

“After what he did.  He’s a…”

“Rapist.  Yeah, I know.  And he got away with it, no punishment.  But, I stood up to him.  Once.  In a game, I boarded him on purpose.  Not that that makes it even by any means, but I stood up to him once.  I knew I’d have to face him on the ice every time we played the Ducks.  This is sort of the same.  I mean, I won then.  I got through it.  I can win now.  I can get through this.  I don’t like it.  I hate it.  But, I can do it.”

“You’re sure?”

“I’m sure.”

“Then we’ve still got your back.”


	14. Testing His Limits

The opening ceremonies were spectacular.  Jamie, Brian and the others had a blast walking out with all the other athletes and watching the show that Stockholm put on for the world.  Afterward, Jamie was ushered back to their dorm’s conference room.

“We’ve got it all set up to watch the Crosby Olympics replay.”  Dylan told him when he asked what the rush was.  “Most everybody’s coming.”

Most every NHLer was there when Jamie and the boys got there.  They were all milling about waiting for the show to start.  Jamie and Brian took seats in the front row and everybody found their own seats.  Jamie glanced around and noticed there were a lot of empty seats, but didn’t think too much of it.  The lights dimmed and the Olympic music started.  When the video came up on the screen, however, it wasn’t from the opening ceremony from four years ago.  It was a live view of Kylie, holding her Olympic torch. 

“What the heck?”  Jamie asked.  “That looks like…”

The doors in the back of the room opened and Jamie turned to look in that direction.  Kylie marched into the room leading a procession of players’ kids and family.  Each was carrying a flag from a different country.  Jamie stood and watched, shocked that Sid and Kylie were already there and this was happening.

“Did you know?”  He whispered to Brian.

“Nope.  As surprised as you are.”  Brian smiled.  He waved at Olivia who was marching right behind Kylie.  “This is great, though.”

The kids continued to march around the room, circling the chairs and players while Sid and some of the other adults set up a table and the Olympic flame, a large flameless candle.  When he signaled, Kylie led the parade back to the front of the room.  She stopped in front of the table.  Everyone got quiet.

“I hereby declare the second Crosby Olympics to be officially open.”  She tips her torch to the candle and Sid times it perfectly, hitting the remote on switch just as the torch touches the candle.  The room erupts in applause and cheers.

The flags and other items are put off to the side and the kids run to their dads, taking up the extra seats.  Sid stands for a minute talking to Dylan who is working on getting a file up on his laptop.  Kylie had stopped to hug Jamie, but had gone back to sit with Dillon and Andy.

“We have some special entertainment for you as part of our opening ceremonies.”  Sid addresses the group.  “We hope you enjoy it.”

Dylan hits play and the video starts.  It opens with Kylie.

“I’m so proud of you Daddy.  I hope you do great.” 

She’s wearing a jersey, but Jamie can’t figure it out.  It doesn’t look like Team USA, or even a Team Canmerica, the hybrid Canadian US team that they’d made up the last time. 

“Andy and Dillon, you’re gonna kick some but!”  Kylie grins.  “Team Switzanada Rocks!”

She stands up and Jamie gets a better look at the jersey.  It’s a hybrid of Switzerland and Canada.  Kylie twirls around and he sees the name on the back…  Cheese Dip.  Brian starts laughing uncontrollably.

“Are you kidding?”  Jamie turns and looks at Kylie.  “Traitor.”

She’s laughing loudly and high-fiving the boys, who are grinning widely.

“Are you sure these shouldn’t be the, what was it, Switzanada Olympics?”  He pouts, but he can’t get a rise out of her.  She just smiles happily.

The video continues as the players chirp at Jamie about being second best.  There are more videos of kids and other family members telling their players how proud they are and wishing them all good luck.  Overall, it’s a good evening and start to the Olympics.  Jamie relaxes and doesn’t think about Kesler, or Pushkin, or the games to come.  Once the video ends, everybody hangs out for a little bit, talking, before they finally call it a night.

Jamie sits in a chair, Sid standing between his legs, arms resting on Jamie’s shoulders.

“Thanks for this.”  Jamie smiles up at him.  “It was an awesome surprise.”

“You okay?”  Sid reaches up and brushes a hand through Jamie’s hair.

“Yeah.  Better now that you’re here.  Glad you came early.”

“We’ve been planning this for a while.”

“I saw.  Must have taken some time getting all the videos together.  When did you have time for the games?”

“We haven’t.  We’re having them here, at Horny’s and… other places.  You’ll see.”

“Cool.”  Jamie nodded.  “Do I get to come participate then?”

“No.  You don’t.  You got your own games to worry about.  Go kick some Switzanada ass, baby boy.  The little traitor.”  Sid chuckled.  “I can’t believe that.”

“I can.  She loves them.”  Jamie leaned forward, resting his head against Sid.  He closed his eyes and just breathed in the smells of home.

“I saw Jake.”

“Yeah.  I ran into him.  Have kept my distance since then.  Did Kylie see him?”

“No, don’t think so.”  Sid’s expression changed.  “Maybe we shouldn’t have let her get so close to the boys.”

“I thought of that.”  Jamie lifted his head and turned to look at Kylie who was still with Dillon and Andy.  “She’s older.  Understands more.  And, I don’t think the boys would just leave.  He never came and said good-bye Sid.  That’s what hurt her.”

“Maybe it hurt him, too.  Leaving her.  Have you thought about that?”

Jamie paused.  He hadn’t thought of that.

“I didn’t think so.  Just keep it in mind before you put him into the boards during practices, eh.”

Jamie snorted.  “You know me too well.”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Practice the next day was an exercise in self-control.  Between Kesler dropping crude remarks to Jamie and Jake looking like Jamie was going to flatten him anytime Jamie got close, it had made for an excruciatingly long practice. 

Hilary had them work on various line combinations and d-pairings to see what worked and what didn’t.  A few times, Kesler filled in on a line for the top penalty kill.  Usually against Jamie’s line. 

“Come on pretty boy.”  Kesler egged him on when they were in a scrum for the puck.  “Afraid to get in here?”

Every time out, Kesler made some comment to Jamie.

“How’s Sid feel knowing I had your ass first?”

“You keeping up the tradition?  Fuck some young rookie?”

But it was the last comment that nearly sent Jamie over the edge.

“What’s wrong princess, need a good fuck to break in your stick?”

It was all he could do not to just slam him into the boards.  Brian more than once wrapped an arm around Jamie’s waist to keep him in check.  Jamie couldn’t get off the ice fast enough when practice was over.

It looked like Auston would be centering the top line, with Jamie on the left and DeBrincat on the right.  Jamie was content with that.  Overall, the team looked good and skated well together. 

After practice Jamie showered and changed, then waited for Brian to get done.  He was standing in the hallway outside the locker room when he heard him.

“I’ve been waiting for another chance to get you under me.” 

Jamie tensed, the hair on the back of his neck standing up.

“I mean, it was so good the last time.”

Jamie spun around.  There was Ryan Kesler, leaning against the wall non-chalantly, arms crossed in front of his chest, leering at Jamie.  He smooched and blew Jamie a kiss.

Just then, Brian walked out into the hallway.  Jamie was standing with his fists clenched at his sides.

“You okay?”  Brian asked.  He looked down the hallway, but Kesler was gone.  “Fluff?”

“Yeah.  I… yeah.”  Jamie was shaking.  “He was out here.  Made another comment.”

“Go to Shero.  Have them put a muzzle on him.”  Brian rested a hand on Jamie’s shoulder.  “They can at least do that if they want him here.  Tell him to stay away from you.”

“I don’t think it’d do any good.  He knows they aren’t going to do anything.”

“Want me to..,”

“No.  I’ll handle it.  See what happens tomorrow.”

The second practice was more of the same.  This time Kesler added subtle little things to push Jamie.  When Jamie scored a particularly nice snipe, Kesler tapped him on the ass with his stick.  Hard.  When he did it again a short time later, Kesler added a comment.

“You like that?  Little love taps on that sweet ass?”

Jamie fumed and skated away.

When the losing team in a three-on-three drill had to do push-ups, Kesler stood next to Jamie.  At one point, he put the blade of his stick between Jamie’s shoulder blades and pushed down.

“Nice form.  But you look much better on your back.”

Brian heard him and started to scramble up.  Jamie reached out and grabbed Brian’s arm.

“Let it go.”  Jamie warned him.  “He’s trying to get us to do something.  Haven’t you figured that out?”

Brian glared as Kesler skated away, laughing.  “Fucker.”

“Yeah.  He’s trying to get us kicked off the team.  So just let it go.  I’ll handle it.  Okay.”

Their first game was the next day, against Slovenia.  It should have been an easy win for the U.S.  Instead they barely eked out a 2 – 1 victory.  Jamie had a dismal game.  Of course, Kesler may have contributed to it.

He stood behind Jamie every time Jamie was on the bench.  There weren’t any comments, thankfully, most likely because others would hear.  However, he was all touchy feely. 

His hands on Jamie’s shoulders.  Patting him on the ass when he went over the boards.  Resting his foot on the bench next to Jamie, making sure it was touching Jamie’s leg.

Brian could do nothing but watch Jamie’s growing anxiety and frustration.  He kept getting looks from Auston and Dylan, who were also keenly aware of what was happening. 

Like the dutiful leader he’d learned from, Jamie waited to be the last one off the ice after the game.  When Brian stopped and started to say something, Jamie just shook his head.

Jamie said he’d take care of it.  Brian had to trust him.  He wondered, though, if he, Auston, or Dylan would hit their breaking point before Jamie did.


	15. Ski Jumping - Swedish Style

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crosby Olympics event #1 and Jamie sneaks off for some Sid time...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short chapter...

Later that evening the players gathered in the conference room of building A27 once again.  It was time for the first event in the Crosby Olympics.  Instead of sitting down front, Jamie moved a chair off to the side of the room and sat by himself.  He didn’t even want Brian sitting with him. 

Dylan, in charge of showing the video, had everything set up.  Sid had sent him the link so he could show it, that way keeping it a surprise for Jamie each time. 

They dimmed the lights and the video came on.

_Crosby Olympics 2026_

_Stockholm, Sweden_

_Event 1 – Ski Jump_

“Is that Hornqvist’s house?”  Somebody asked.

“Yeah, they’re holding the games here.”  Jamie answered.

“Wait a minute.”  Dillon said.  “Are they on the roof?”

“Holy crap.”  Alex DeBrincat swore.  “They are.  They’re on the fucking roof.”

“I knew Horny was crazy, but damn.”  Elias Pettersson chuckled.

“It’s an old Swedish guy thing.”  Henrik Zetterberg laughed.  He was one of the few coaches allowed to join the group.  “One day you too will be crazy old Swede, doing crazy things.”

“They don’t have the kids up on the roof, do they?”  Brian glanced nervously back at Jamie.

Jamie was feverishly typing away on his phone.  Brian surmised Sid was getting an earful of ‘my daughter better not be on that roof’.

First up in the ski jumping was Sid.  He precariously balanced at the top of the roof, keeping his skis parallel to the top ridge.  He waited until he evidently got the ready sign from someone off camera and he turned his skis and slid down the snow-covered roof.  At the edge, he popped up and jumped off the roof.  He landed rather awkwardly in a large pile of snow about 20 feet away.  

The camera turned to a table where Kylie, Olivia, and Nikita sat.  Each one held up a number.  Kylie gave Sid a three, Olivia gave him a five, and Nikita gave him a four. 

Next up was Hagelin.

“Shit, he breaks something we’re doomed.”  Dillon joked.

“See.  Crazy old Swede.  He should wait until he retires.”  Hank added.

Like Sid, Carl waited for a signal then skied down the roof.  He managed to go about the same distance as Sid before landing and promptly falling into the snow pile.  He managed to get a total of nine points from the judges.

Geno got three eights as he made the longest jump.  Flower had a good jump but face-planted on the landing.  Tanger went almost as far as Geno and ended up a close second.  But, the big winner was Patric, with three perfect tens.

“I think he had an unfair advantage.”  Zetterberg said.  “He’s been practicing.”

The fact that he had indeed been practicing was evident in the bonus footage.  Patric started down the roof like he was just going to jump.  When he launched himself off the edge, however, he did a complete backflip in the air before landing.  On the next jump he did a 360 helicopter.

“Holy crap, I guess he has been practicing.”  Brian laughed. 

The next person to jump on the bonus reels was Zetterberg himself.

“That’s how you knew.”  Pettersson snorted.  “Crazy old Swedes stick together, huh.”

Hank took off and did a backflip, landing soundly.

“Not as easy as it looks.”  He laughed.

“Hey, Fluff, we should go try this.”  Brian turned to see Jamie’s reaction.

The chair was empty.

“He slipped out a little bit ago.”  Dillon told Brian.

Brian wasn’t sure, but he could guess where Jamie had gone.  That night, he had the bed to himself.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

“Needed some Sid time, did ya?” 

Jamie looked up at Brian and nodded.  He motioned for Brian to join him for breakfast.

Jamie had spent the night at Patric’s.  He just needed to feel safe.  Not that Brian wasn’t an acceptable substitute, but he wasn’t Sid.  He’d fallen asleep with Sid plastered to his back.  Sid’s arms tight around his chest.  Sid’s leg draped over his.  Over the years, the best remedy for Jamie’s anxiety had become having himself wrapped up in a Sid cocoon.

“Feeling better?”  Brian asked.

“Some.  Yes.”

“I don’t know how you do it.  You need to just take a swing.  Put him in his place.”

“It’s what he wants.  I’m not doin it.  Bigger person.  All that shit.”

“Then let me do it.  Or Larks.  Or Mats.  We’d all gladly lay him out for you.”

“Hands off.”  Jamie scowled.  “I mean it.”

Brian huffed.  “I don’t get it.”

“Dillon.  Andy.  I warned them not to retaliate against Pushkin.  I kinda can’t take out Kes after telling them that.”

“They aren’t having to deal with Pushkin every day.”

“I’m fine, Dumes.  He can talk all he wants.”

“It’s not the talk.  It’s the hands-on crap.  I can see you cringe every time he touches you.  It’s gotta be affecting your game for one thing.  I mean, we’re supposed to be having fun and relaxing these two weeks, and you’re tenser than ever.”

“Hence the Sid time.”  Jamie smiled.  “I’m fine.  Really, Dumes.”

“I worry.”

“Yes, honey.  I know.”  Jamie smirked.

Jamie noticed Dylan and Auston patiently waiting with their food trays a short distance away.  He smiled and nodded for them to come sit down.

“You could have come over.”

“Waiting for Brian to make sure it was safe.”  Dylan joked.  “Not sure what kind of mood you’d be in.”

“I’m fine, boys.  Really.” Jamie assured them again.  “Got bigger things than me to worry about today.”

They all agreed.  Their game against Russia was today.  It would be their first big hurdle in their road to a second gold medal.


	16. Pushkin - Round 1:  Jamie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> warnings - this chapter... homophobic language, abelism?

Jamie slammed into the boards.

“What is matter, big man?  You too pussy hit me?”

Jamie tried to focus on the puck at his feet.  He kicked at it.  Tried to get his stick on it.  Tried to ignore Pushkin’s words.

“Maybe is just faggot in you.  You like be pushed against wall.  Need good fuck by real man.”

Jamie kicked again and caught the puck with his skate, sending it flying out to center ice.  Jamie shoved Pushkin off and collected himself.  Brian glared at him from the bench.  Jamie shook his head.  Two shifts later, it happened again.  Pushkin banging into Jamie.  Comments following.

“Sidney not man enough for you.  You need take big cock.  Or something else?”  Pushkin ran his hand down his stick as he skated away, laughing.

It happened every time they were on the ice together.  Always said when no one else could hear it.  Always taking a hit at Jamie if he could. 

Jamie wasn’t getting any relief on the bench either.  Kesler was there.  Kesler was always there.  Towering behind Jamie, his hands gripping Jamie’s shoulders.  Constantly leaning over to whisper in Jamie’s ear.

Brian watched, waited, sure that Jamie was going to hit his breaking point at some point this game.

He didn’t. 

What he did do was score three unanswered goals and lead Team USA to a 5-2 victory. 

After the game, Jamie slipped away again, not even going to watch the second of the Crosby Olympic events.

\--------------------------------------------------------

Sid kneeled between Jamie’s legs.  Jamie was on his back, knees drawn up.  His head was lulled back into the pillows, eyes closed, lips slightly parted.  A warm flush spread down from his face across his chest.  Sid rocked his hips, pushing his dick into Jamie with each forward motion. 

“Ah. Ah.  Ah.”  Soft noises escaped from Jamie’s lips.

“That’s it.  So close, baby boy.”  Sid whispered.  “So close.  God you look so good.  I should have shoved you up against the wall in the shower and had my way with you.”

Sid felt Jamie tense.  The expression on his face changed.  Jamie’s eyes were squeezed tightly shut, his lips no longer parted, but the bottom one held between his teeth.  He looked like he was in pain.

“Jame?”  Sid slowed his rhythm.  When Jamie turned his head to the side and buried it in a pillow, Sid stopped and pulled out.  He rubbed his hands up and down Jamie’s thighs.  “What?  Did I hurt you?”

Jamie shook his head, but kept his face turned from Sid.  Sid looked down.  A few seconds ago, Jamie’s dick had been hard and throbbing, bouncing against his abs with each of Sid’s thrusts.  That had changed, as well.  Now it laid flaccidly, his erection gone.  Sid lost his when he realized that something was wrong.

“What happened?”  Sid pushed Jamie’s knees to get him to put his legs down, then Sid stretched out beside Jamie, propping himself up on one are.  With his free hand he gently reached over and cupped Jamie’s chin.  Sid made him turn and look at him.  “What?  Tell me?”

“Nothing.  It.  Nothing.”  Jamie’s eyes told a different story, though.  “I’m sorry.  You can.  If you want to.”

“No.  I’m not going to just do you.  Jesus.”  Sid leaned down and kissed Jamie’s check.  “Tell me what nothing is.”

“Just something Pushkin said.  Like he knew what Kesler did.  Sorry.  I shouldn’t care...”

Sid paused a moment before kissing along Jamie’s jaw again.  What had Pushkin said?  What had Sid said?  Why would it…

“Oh.”  Sid sighed.  “I know.  Never mind.  I’m sorry.  I didn’t even think.” 

“You didn’t have to stop.  You could have finished.  Sorry.”  Jamie closed his eyes and took a deep breath.  “I really thought I just needed…”

“It’s fine.”  Sid rolled over on his back and Jamie moved so he was pressed against Sid’s side, his head on Sid’s chest.  Sid brushed his fingers lazily through Jamie’s hair.  “You don’t need to hold it in.  Nobody’s going to think anything if you just let him have it at some point.  At least, nobody who knows the history there.”

“It doesn’t serve any purpose at this point.  It’s been ten years.  I thought… I thought I’d put it all behind me.  I dealt with it.  I put him in his place once.  End of story.  One demon down.”

“You never thought you’d have to deal with him again.  Especially not this closely.  I know, baby boy.”  Sid sighed.  “You can quit.”

“No I can’t.”

“No.  You can’t.”  Sid sighed again.  “What then?”

“Maybe… I don’t know… maybe…”

“Maybe?”  Sid drew the word out slowly, questioning.

“I forgave Luc.  I’ve forgiven a lot of people from my past.  Not that he deserves it, but, well, maybe I do.  Maybe it’s what I need to do to finally, truly, put him, put it, all behind me.  Just… let it all go… tell him I don’t hate him… maybe…”  Jamie’s voice trailed off.  Sid waited.

“Maybe… if I let him know it doesn’t mean anything.  What he did, he did.  He can’t hurt me now.  Ya know.”

“Brian’s worried.  He keeps texting me.”  Sid told Jamie.  “I know it does bother you.  He’s still… hurting you.  Not physically.  I don’t think he could.  But, well, mentally… emotionally.  It was all so raw again after what happened to Dillon.  And, by the way, proud of you for not killing Pushkin today.  But it was one game.  You might not have to face him again.  Kesler is there every day.  You think you can fool yourself every day?”

“I could…”

“We’d be back in Parkerson by the end of the Olympics.  You know it and I know it.  We’d be back at the beginning again.”

“I think I’ve come far enough that that wouldn’t happen.”

“It’s always there, Jame.  I know you’re better, but it’s always there.  I see it.  No matter how hard you try and hide it some days, it shows up, that dark mood.  You’re better at controlling it, but the right push and bam…”

“I wanted to just come play hockey.  Forget about our shitty season for a couple of weeks.  We should have just gone to the island.”

“Your daughter wouldn’t have been very happy with that.  She’s been planning her Olympic games for months.”

“Ugh.  What did I miss tonight?  Gotta act like I loved it tomorrow at breakfast.”

“Cross-country skiing.” 

“Who won?”

“Well, I’m not sure.  It was kind of a… cluster fuck.”

“Huh?”  Jamie lifted his head and looked at Sid who just smiled and shrugged.

“It was a shotgun start.  And, well, a shotgun finish.  All the kids crossed the line at the same time.”

Jamie laughed.  “Okay.  So, I congratulate them all.”

“Yep.  Anyway.  What are you going to do about Kesler?  Can you really forgive him?”

“No.”  Jamie answered truthfully.  “I think he’s the one person I can never forgive.  So, I’ll just have to make sure I don’t let him know how much it’s getting to me.”

“It’s gonna be a long two weeks, baby boy.”  Sid kissed the top of Jamie’s head.

“No shit.”  Jamie sighed.


	17. Pushkin - Round 2: Swiss Cheese

The big event of the day was the game between Russia and Switzerland.  If the Swiss won, Russia would most likely not advance to the next round.  The whole Crosby clan, Pens’ family group was there to cheer on Andy and his teammates.  Geno had to admit that he wanted to see the youngster do well, even if it meant that Russia lost.  Truth be told, he was a bit disappointed that Russia had let Yuri Pushkin play.

Dillon sat in the row in front of Jamie and Sid, Kylie on his lap.  His parents sat on one side and Andy’s parents sat on the other side of him. 

The game got off to a rough start for the Swiss as Russia came out flying and scored two quick goals.  Jamie silently held his breath every time Andy and Pushkin were on the ice at the same time. He saw Dillon wince a few times when Pushkin hit Andy and obviously said something to try and rattle the youngster.

Whatever Pushkin said at the end of the first period really got under Andy’s skin evidently.  Nico Hischier and Timo Meier practically had to tackle Andy to keep him from going after Pushkin.  Jamie watched as they dragged him off the ice and down the runway. Dillon stood up and excused himself.

“You need to tell him to get it together.”  Jamie said as Dillon started up the steps.

Sid snickered and said softly to his mom.  “I think he’s doing fine.”

Dillon smiled.  When Jamie glared at him, Dillon’s face went blank and he dipped his chin to his chest.

“I’ll tell him to knock it off.”  He said lowly.

A short time later, Dillon came back and looked like someone had taken his favorite toy away.  He shook his head when Jamie asked him how it went. Kylie climbed back on his lap and he tried to relax as the second period started. 

Jamie watched Roman Josi skate with Andy, obviously still trying to get the youngster to keep his head in the game.  That was good, Jamie thought, a veteran presence on the ice to settle Andy down. 

Two seconds.  The hope lasted all of two seconds.

The puck hit the ice and so did Andy’s gloves. 

“No! No! No!” Jamie yelled.  “God damn it, Andy.” He swore under his breath.

Dillon didn’t watch.  He couldn’t. He couldn’t look at Jamie either, but was keenly aware of the hole Jamie’s stare was burning in the back of his head.  He looked at the seat in front of him, at the back of Jack Eichel’s head. He sat motionless, holding Kylie, who had her face pressed against his chest. 

When they finally managed to pull him away from Pushkin, Andy looked like he had taken the brunt of the beating.  His lip looked split and he had a scuff across his cheek. A couple of the guys helped Josi drag Andy to the bench.  Pushkin left the ice as well.

Dillon started to move Kylie so he could stand up.

“Don’t.”  Jamie huffed.  “He’s mine.”

Jamie stood up and started towards the aisle.

“Go easy on him.”  Sid said. “He’s just a kid.  He made a…”

“He’s a fucking idiot.”  Jamie snapped. “And no, I’m not gonna go easy on him.  I’m gonna kick his ass.”

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Out.”  Jamie said to the trainers and others from Team Switzerland that were milling about the locker room.  The stern look on his face and tone of that one word sent them scrambling. 

Andy was sitting in his stall, head in his hands. 

“What the fuck?”  Jamie scowled at him.  “What in the ever-loving fuck were you thinking?”

One of the trainers, hearing Jamie scold Andy, stuck his head back in the room.  “Do you need…”

“No.”  Jamie snapped at him.  “He doesn’t need a translator.  He understands what I’m yelling about perfectly.  Don’t you.”

“Ja.”  Andy nodded in his hands.  The trainer darted back out.

“Look at me.”  Jamie ordered.

Andy slowly raised his head.  His lip was swollen, and blood was drying on his chin.  His cheek had what looked like ice-burn, and his eye was gonna be purple by tomorrow.

“Christ on a crutch, Andy.  Why? Do you know what you’ve done?  Do you understand what this means?” Jamie towered over Andy.  

Andy nodded.

Jamie threw his arms up in a huff.  “No you don’t. You don’t have a fucking clue.  You’re done. Your Olympics are over. Do you get that?  Fighting? This isn’t just some ordinary international game, Andy.  It’s the fucking Olympics. Sportsmanship. Friendship. Love. All that crap.  It means a lot more here. You’re done.”

“But, he…”

“I don’t give a rats ass what he did, or what he said.  He’s not my problem to worry about. You are. You’re likely to get a game or two from the league as well.”  Jamie emphasized his anger by grabbing a towel and throwing it at Andy. “I can’t believe you. Did you listen to anything I told you before?”

“They can’t…”

“Yeah, they can.  You’re representing them here as much as you are Switzerland.  You’re behavior puts them in a bad light. Jesus, Andy. Why? Dillon came down and talked to you.  Didn’t he tell you not to go after that asshole.”

“But, he…”

“I don’t care what he said or did, remember?  Do you know what I’ve been having to deal with?  Since the day we got here? I’ve heard it all, Andy.  Slurs. Horseshit comments. Harassment. All of it. I heard it from Pushkin during our game.  I hear it from fucking Kesler every time I’m near him. And have I done anything? Have I lost my temper?”  Andy started to answer, but Jamie cut him off. “Fuck no. Why? Because it’s the fucking Olympics. Because people are counting on me.  Because Kylie is so excited about being here. Because if I did, I’d be kicked off my team and banned from the games. Well guess what shithead, that’s you.  And now I have to add running fucking interference for you with the league and the Pens to all my other headaches.”

Andy looked up, his swollen lip quivering.  Jamie’s face was flushed red, his jaw clenched.  The muscle of his right cheek twitched. He wasn’t just angry, he looked disappointed in Andy.  And that was devastating to the kid.  

Andy looked down, covering his face with his hands again.  Jamie ran his hand through his hair and sighed heavily. He walked over and sat down next to Andy.

“I’m sorry.”  Andy said softly.  “I… he said things… about Dils… about you…”

“Words, Andy.  He was trying to get in your head.  Guess he did, huh.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”  Jamie’s tone softened.  “You did what I wanted to do.  Truth is I don’t know if that makes you braver than me or stupider.” 

“Why are you not, um, standing up, for you?”  Andy asked. “With Kesler?”

“I can’t.  I told you.  Too many people would get caught in the fallout.”

Andy just nodded. 

“I’m really get banned?”

“I’d bet on it.  Fighting in the Olympics.”  Jamie rubbed his hand up and down Andy’s back.  He smiled, despite himself. “You really let him have it.”

“I got a few good hits.”  

“Ya know, a wise man once said to me that sometimes, you just gotta take the penalty.  This may have been one of those times. Was it worth it?”

A wide grin spread proudly across Andy’s face.  “Was worth it.”


	18. A Much Needed Day Away From Hockey

As predicted, Andy was banished from Olympic competition.  He packed his bags and went to stay with his parents at Hags’ house. 

For Jamie, the morning after the fight had been spent on his phone.  An hour with Jordan Grove, followed by 40 minutes with the commissioner, then another hour with Grove.  He talked to Sid, who also called the commissioner.  It looked like they had them talked down to giving Andy just a one-game suspension when play resumed after the Olympics.  Andy was all apologetic again when Jamie called to tell him the league’s decision.  Andy said he’d heard that Pushkin had been suspended from the Russian team.  That would be a better outcome than Jamie expected.

He’d done his calling at Horny’s house, away from the rest of the team.  He’d wanted a little privacy so he could talk openly about Pushkin’s history.  No need to get the boys riled up about yet another asshole.  He was having enough trouble keeping them from going after Kesler.

Geno showed up in the middle of things looking self-satisfied as he took a seat on the couch.  Jamie kept glancing over as Sid questioned Geno about what they’d heard.  At one point, Sid looked horrified and the color drained from his face.  That concerned Jamie. 

Jamie finished his calls and joined the conversation.  He needed to know what Geno told Sid.

Geno had gone to Pavel Datsyuk, who was coaching the Russians again.  He told him why Andy had gone after Pushkin, the whole story.  Datsyuk went to his bosses and much to everyone’s surprise Pushkin was removed from Team Russia.  No reasoning was given to the press, he just simply disappeared.

“Jesus, Geno, did they kill him?”  Jamie questioned.  Jamie had heard Geno and Ovi offer numerous times to have a problem removed, as they called it.  Jamie never knew for certain if they were serious about ties to the Russian mob or if they were just having fun with him.  He wasn’t sure he wanted to know.

“Is Russian way.”  Geno said, remaining tight-lipped on the subject.

“Did they send him to Siberia?  Does that still happen?”

“He is gone.  All you need know.”  Geno replied coldly.

Jamie eyed him suspiciously, glancing over at Sid a couple of times.  Sid shook his head and mouthed, “don’t push it.” 

Jamie let it go.  Pushkin was gone.  That’s all that mattered in the end.  One down, what seemed like a hundred more problems to go.

That afternoon, Jamie got to watch the next installment of the Crosby Olympics live and in person.  They all drove out to the downhill skiing venue for the event.  Evidently, Horny knew people.  Since there were no events taking place out there at the time, they could use part of the hill for their own games.

“I should get to participate, Sid.”  Jamie pouted as he was told to wait at the bottom of the run.

“Um… no.  Bad enough Hags and Geno are doing it.  If you get hurt, I’d never hear the end of it.”

“Crap.”  Jamie groaned. 

He watched as the kids and adults were towed up the hill by members of the local ski patrol.  They would only be skiing down the bottom part, but Jamie thought it looked daunting regardless.  Much too much hill for a six-year-old.  Sid, however, had assured him the kids would be perfectly safe.

First down the hill was Geno with Nikita.  Nikita was out in front of Geno, who trailed behind, snowplowing his skis.   Geno was holding on to two leashes that were attached to a harness Nikita was wearing so he could control their speed.  Nikita, however, acted as if he was flying down the hill in true Olympic fashion.  He was in a semi-crouch, leaning forward.  He had two tiny poles tucked against his side.  The look was completed by a helmet and goggles.

Jamie and the others watching cheered loudly as Geno and Nikita skied toward the finish line.  As they crossed it, Nikki straightened and through his arms in the air in victory.  Geno lifted him high in the air in celebration, before leaving him with Anna and heading back up to the starting spot.

Next down the hill was Carl with Blanche.  She was skiing without the harness, but still not speeding down the hill.  Once they crossed the finish line, Carl left her with the families and headed back up the hill.  Jamie was starting to wonder what the adults had planned.

Sid and Kylie came down next.  She, like Nikki, was tucked into true downhill skier form as she dragged Sid down the hill slowly.  Jamie laughed when she did a quick turn at the finish line, attempting to skid to a stop like the pros.  Instead, she fell over and brought Sid down when he got tangled in the leashes.  The two of them tumbled to a stop. 

One by one, all the kids completed their runs.  The older kids, Stelly and Alex, gave a hint of things to come as they skied down the hill together in more of a slalom race.  Right at the end, Stelly edged out Alex for the win.  Jamie noticed that Alex didn’t seem too upset about losing.  He took off his helmet and shyly smiled at Estelle as he brushed his dark bangs back off his forehead.  Jamie wasn’t sure if it was the cold or a warm blush that turned Alex’ cheeks red when Stelly leaned over and kissed his cheek.

As with the two teens, the adults raced down slalom style, only three at a time.  And it was more like a mini roller derby on skis than a slalom.  First down the hill were Flower, Kris, and Horny.  It was a free-for-all, elbows flying everywhere.  Halfway down, Horny threw a hip check on Flower that sent them both tumbling head over heels.  Kris managed to avoid the flailing skis and arms and stay on his feet, easily finishing the run to win their leg.

They were followed by Sid, Geno and Hags.  Geno quickly powered his was to the front, using his long arms to keep Sid and Carl at bay.  That only lasted a short time, however.  Sid shushed.  He caught Geno with his hip.  Carl tugged Geno’s arm at the same time, pulling him off balance.  Geno went down hard on his ass and slid uncontrolled across the course.  Sid and Carl finished the race in almost a dead heat, Carl just edging Sid out by the slightest of margins.

“You cheat!”  Geno yelled as he skied up to them.  “Is no fair.  We do over.”

“All’s fair in these games, G.”  Sid laughed. 

“That’s right.”  Carl backed up Sid.  “Not fair was making us race against you.  Definite size advantage.  Sid and I had to try and equal things out somehow.”

“You cheat.  You admit it.”  Geno poked his finger in Sid’s chest.  “I’m winner.  You disqualified.”

When they had the awards ceremony later, Geno did indeed get the gold medal.  He had to toss Carl off the podium and into a snow pile, but he got the gold.  Everyone laughed and the whole thing turned into one massive snowball fight.  By the time he got back to his room in the village, Jamie was exhausted, but feeling relaxed and happy.

They had one more game in pool play, then it would be on to the next round.  Despite everything going on, things were looking good for Team USA to repeat as gold medalists.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the delay in getting this updated. Life interrupted everything... my mom has been dealing with health issues since the end of June - first AFib episode that ended up requiring cardioversion to get back in rhythm and then a nasty bought of Vertigo... she is on her way to getting back to normal and I found the chance to finish up this chapter and get it posted... hopefully I won't be away for so long again... thanks for patience and understanding... love you all...


	19. Forgiveness

Switzerland.

Jamie had been looking forward to this game and getting to play against Andy.  Well, that wasn’t going to happen now.  Instead, Andy was sitting in the stands next to Dillon watching his countrymen play without him.  It wasn’t a pretty game.  Jamie and the boys shredded the Swiss defense and scored at will on goalie Akira Schmid.  Andy felt helpless as he watched Jamie score his fourth goal, making it 10-2 at the start of the third period.

Sid watched Andy cringe and duck his head every time the U.S. scored.  It would do the kid good to have to endure this, even though Sid felt Andy was in the right for going after Pushkin.  Sid wished he’d have gone after Kesler years ago.  If he had, maybe Jamie wouldn’t have to be suffering through this now.

Jamie was having an amazing game, however.  Sid figured having the day off yesterday had down Jamie a world of good.  He also noticed that Kesler wasn’t hovering over top of Jamie on the bench.  He was standing back more during the first two periods, giving Jamie space. 

After Jamie scored his fourth goal, Sid noticed that Hillary gave him the rest of the game off.  He found a spot at the end of the bench and stayed there.  That’s when Sid noticed Jamie fidgeting.  He tried to figure out what kept drawing his attention down the bench.

Kesler.

He kept leaning down and putting his arm around Jack Hughes every time he was on the bench.  He stood behind Jack and rubbed his shoulders.  Sid thought it could all be excused as Kesler just being a supportive coach, if he didn’t know the truth.  Sid knew, but he still had his doubts about Kesler’s intentions.  Jack was 24, after all, and not a rookie.  He didn’t exactly fit Kesler type, Sid thought.  At one point, Kesler bent over and whispered in Jack’s ear.  When he stood up, Sid say him turn directly towards Jamie and make eye contact.  Kesler smirked and winked at Jamie, then patted Jack’s shoulder.  Sid could see Jamie fuming.

Sid was waiting for him when he came out of the locker room.

“Okay?”

Jamie shrugged.  “Larks is having a chat with Jack.  Not that I’m worried, he’s not Kesler’s type after all.”

“Trying to get to you.”

“Yep.”  Jamie walked a short distance down a side hallway, leading Sid away from prying eyes and ears.  He stopped and leaned back against the wall, his hands balled in fists at his sides.  Jamie closed his eyes and let his head thump against the wall.  “I just want to… fuck…”

“Hey.  It’ll be okay.”

“Do you know what he said?  What he fucking said to me when I told him to stay away from the kids?”  Jamie opened his eyes and fixed a hard stare at Sid.  “He said I was just being jealous.  That I just wanted them all to myself.  Fucking fucker.”

“Walk away.”  Sid stepped in front of Jamie, letting his hands rest on Jamie’s chest.  He looked up at him, eyes filled with concern.  “Let it go.  We can go home and spend some time with Kylie.”

“Quit?”  Jamie shook his head.  “Not a chance at this point.  He just.  Fuck.”

“You can.  Nobody’s gonna think any less of you for it.”

“I’m not worried what people will think.  I’m worried what my daughter will think.”  Jamie sighed.  “She’d be disappointed, and I can’t do that to her.  Nah, I can stick it out.”

Sid leaned forward and rested his head on Jamie’s chest.  He reached down and laced his fingers with Jamie’s as Jamie tipped his head and rested his chin on top of Sid’s head. 

“I’m okay.”  Jamie whispered.  “I’m gonna be okay.”

\---------------------------------------------------------

Later that day, the players gathered to watch the Crosby Olympics downhill skiing event video.  Jamie sat next to Brian and laughed watching the antics all over again.  Afterward, he waited down in the conference room until everyone had cleared out, then he called home.

“Hey, honey.”  Diane’s warm smile lit up his screen as she answered the Skype call.  “We didn’t expect to hear from you today.”

“I, uh, just thought I’d check on things.  How’re Stanley and Lexie doing?  Behavin?”

“They’re good.  Stanley is driving Luc crazy.  All he wants to do is play ball.  Luc finally had to hide his tennis ball to get him to take a break.”

Jamie laughed.  “Yeah, he’s ball crazy.  How’s Lex?”

“Busy.”  Diane smiled coyly.  “She’s a most popular girl.”

“Huh?”  Jamie tipped his head in confusion.

“Best thing you’ve done for that team.”  Jamie heard Luc holler at the screen from somewhere behind Diane.  Suddenly he was right next to her.  “She’s a natural therapy dog.  The boys have been calling just to Skype with her.”

“You’re kidding?”  Jamie was surprised.  “Really?”

“Oh yeah.”  Luc nodded.  “Wheeler’s been here three times to play hockey with her.”

Jamie was truly shocked with that.  “Damn.”

“You did good.”  Luc smiled warmly.  “Really helping them talking to her.”

“Is that why you called, honey?”  Diane questioned.  “You need some time alone with Lexie?”

“No.  I mean, yeah, that would be nice, but no.  I really did just call to check in.  Not gonna keep you guys.”  Jamie assured them, sounding less than convincing.  “Anyway.  Did you see the downhill video?  She’s having a blast here.”

“It was great.”  Diane said.  “And that was some game today against Switzerland.”

“You’re looking good for a medal.”  Luc added, then knocked on the wooden table.  “Hell of a game.  Too bad Andy didn’t play.”

“Yep.  Oh well.”  Jamie rubbed the back of his neck nervously.  “He, um, I wish…”

“Look.  I’ll let you talk to Luc.”  Diane said standing up.  “Love you, honey.”

Once she was gone, Luc started, “Kesler still trying to rile you up?”

“Yeah.  I wish… I wish I could just do what Andy did.  God I just wanna lay him out.”

“Do it.”

“I can’t.  You know that.  What kind of captain would that make me?  Some shining example…”

“That’s bullshit.  You’re doing a great job as captain.  Don’t let anybody tell you different.  You had some big shoes to fill and you’ve done just fine.”

  
“I can’t go after him.  I almost lost my career once by acting out without thinking.”

“Yeah.  I remember.”  Luc rubbed his nose.  “But you aren’t that same kid.”

“No.  I’m not.  I can think about my actions.  Consequences suck, but it’s life.  So I just have to ride it out.”

“Not all consequences suck.  Being able to live with them, good or bad, is life.  I think you’re doing a good job with yours.”  Luc smiled.

Jamie smiled back.  They had come a long way from the broken nose incident.  Jamie had forgiven Luc for a lot.  They had a strong relationship now. 

Jamie had forgiven a lot from his past.  Put it behind him.  Why couldn’t he forgive Kesler?

Yeah, he thought, that’s the one that’ll never happen.

“Thanks, Luc.”  Jamie said.  “I’d better let you go and turn in for the night.”

“Anytime.  Hugs and kisses to our girl.”  Luc closed the connection.

Jamie heard a noise behind him.  He turned and saw Jake standing near the door.

“Sorry.  Didn’t mean to eaves drop.”  Jake said shakily.  “Hoping I left my phone down here.”

Jake walked over and picked up his phone off the floor.  “Must have fallen out of my pocket.”

Jake stopped and just stood there as Jamie shut his laptop down.  After a minute of awkward silence, Jamie looked back up at him.

“You have a problem, Jake?”

“Um.  Well.”  Jake shuffled nervously.  “Actually, yeah.  Kesler.  Why do you take that?”

“Not your problem.  None of your business.”  Jamie snapped curtly. 

“He kind of is my problem.  Well, a team problem.  He’s an asshole and yet you won’t let any of us do anything about him.”

“Stay out of it.”

“I heard what happened.  Back when I first came up.  You gotta want to kill him.  I would.”

Jamie didn’t say anything.

“We were all gonna quit, before, if you had.  We’d do it now, too.”  Jake said.  “What would they do?  They aren’t going to let us all quit.  We’re gonna win a medal.  How would that look for them if the whole team just quit at this point.  And you can bet we’d all make sure the press knew exactly why we quit, too.”

“I don’t want that.”  Jamie said softly, shaking his head slowly.  “That’s just it.  I don’t want it all out there.  It’s been ten years, Jake.  It happened.  I don’t need to relive it.  I don’t need…”

“What?”

“I don’t need Kylie to have to find out about it.  Jesus.”  Jamie looked up.  “It’s bad enough now, with her getting older.  She sees things now on the internet, about Sid and me.  How would I deal with that?”

“I didn’t.”  Jake looked down at the floor.  “Sorry.”

“Whatever.”  Jamie sighed.  “Is that all you needed?”

“Yeah.  I just.  I heard what he said to you earlier.  I just wanted you to know how the team felt.”

“Thanks.  But really, it’s not their problem.”

Jake turned and started to leave.  Something in Jamie’s gut twisted.

Forgiveness.

“Jake.”

Jake paused, turning to look back at Jamie.

“She misses you.  She asked about you the other day.”

“I miss her.”

“All you had to do was come say good-bye.”

“I couldn’t.”  Jake dipped his chin to his chest.  “I couldn’t say good-bye to anybody.  I didn’t even come back to move.  I had a company pack my apartment for me.  It was just… too hard.”

“Why.  Why’d you leave.”

“They’re your team.  Always will be.  I wanted my own team.  Wanted to be out from under the Crosby shadow.”

Jamie nodded slowly.  Jake waited a second, then turned to leave again.

“They’re staying with Horny.”  Jamie said, pulling out his phone and typing a quick message.  Jake’s phone pinged.  “His address.  Go see her.”

Jake’s face brightened, a wide smile on his lips.  “Yeah?”

“Yeah.  And take her something.  A peace offering.”

“I’ll get her a new jersey.”  Jake laughed.

“Jake.”  Jamie stopped him from leaving again.  “If it’s a Flyers, I’ll bury it and you in the backyard myself.”

Jake started to laugh again, then he saw Jamie’s face.  Jake’s face turned white.

“No, sir… no flyers.” 

Jamie grinned.  “Good Jake.”


	20. Knight

Team USA went into the next round as the top seed.  They were followed by Canada, Sweden, Finland, Russia, Slovakia, Germany, and Switzerland.  First up would be Switzerland.

Three games.  Just three games and it was another gold medal.  Jamie was pumped.  He could do this.  He could get through the next three games.  No problem.

Problem.

It didn’t happen during the game.  Everything went well for the U.S. against the Swiss.  Jamie had two goals and an assist.  They ended up winning 4-2. 

It was after the game that the thing with Kesler finally came to a head.  He finally made one too many comments to Jamie.

Jamie was standing in the hall outside the locker room waiting on Brian, Dylan and Auston before heading back to their dorm.  Since it had been a morning game, they had the afternoon free.  Tonight, they’d be showing another installment of the Crosby Olympics.  The boys had opted to go take a nap then maybe take in one of the other events, figure skating had started.

He heard Kesler before he saw him. 

“Think I’ll go watch the Canada game.”

Jamie looked up from his phone.  The grin on Kesler’s face worried him.

“I hear that little Canadian boy is up for a good time.”  Kesler walked up and stood in front of Jamie, boxing him in with his arms, hands braced on the wall on either side of Jamie’s head.  “Little Russian birdie told me he likes to play.”

“I told you, stay away from him.”  Jamie gritted his teeth.

“Know what else I heard?  Seems that he wasn’t a poor little helpless victim like he let on.”  Kesler leaned closer.  “He asked to be drugged.  Was supposed to be a game.  His little boyfriend coming to his rescue.  Only, it wasn’t gonna be a rescue.”

Jamie’s body was rigid, his back pressed against the wall.  He kept his head up, his eyes fixed on the opposite wall, staring over top Kesler’s head.  His fist clenched and unclenched as he fought to keep his composure.

“The boyfriend was gonna join in.  Fuck his brains out.”  Kesler whispered.  “Just like we did to you.”

Jamie swallowed hard.  His jaw was clenched shut, the muscle along his jawline twitched.  He tried to stay still.  To just breathe.  Let him talk.  It was all just talk.

“Wonder if he’d take it as good as you did.”  Kesler smirked.  “And boy, it was good.  How’s it feel?  You knowing that I’ve had you?  That I’m always gonna be in your head?  Hmmm?  How’s Sid feel about that?  I fucked you first.  You’re always gonna have to live with that.  You were my little fuck toy before Sid got you.”

Jamie closed his eyes.  He tried to drown out Kesler’s words in his brain, to think of anything but what he was saying.

_Breathe.  Just breathe.  Come on, Dumes.  Get your ass out here._

“Yep, think I’ll pay a visit to that little Canadian boy.  Have me a second go at a Pens’ player.  Sounds like a plan now, doesn’t it?”

That was it.  The straw that broke Jamie.  In one swift move he lunged forward, taking Kesler completely by surprise.  He pushed him across the hallway and up against the other wall.  Jamie brought his arm up and held his forearm against Kesler’s throat.  Kesler gasped in shock.  He tried to pry Jamie’s arm off, but Jamie pushed harder.  Kesler’s hands griped Jamie’s arm as he fought to breathe.”

“Let’s get something straight, fucker.  You didn’t have me.  You fucking raped me you piece of shit.”  Jamie eased up just a little, letting Kesler suck in a few breathes.  “You should have gone to jail.”

Kesler’s nails dug into Jamie’s flesh as he fought for air.  Jamie watched him, taking in the fear in Kesler’s eyes.  Real fear.  Fear of Jamie. 

“Let’s get a few other things straight while we’re at it.  You’re done harassing me.  I don’t want to see you, hear or, or have you anywhere near me.  They want you to coach, fine, but you stay at the other end of the bench.  You aren’t my fucking coach.  Understand?”

Jamie eased up on the pressure on Kesler’s throat.  Kesler coughed and gasped for air.

“Understand?”  Jamie repeated.

Kesler glared at Jamie, but slowly nodded his head.

“And you stay the fuck away from Dillon and all the other young guys.  I get word you’re so much as talking to any of them and I’ll finish what I’ve started.  There’s nothing more I’d love to do than beat the fucking life out of you.  Next time, I won’t step away.  Got it?”

“Got it.”  Kesler managed to hiss out.

Jamie heard a noise behind him.  He guessed some of the guys were coming out.  He wondered who might have witnessed his blow up.  He leaned back, straightening and releasing Kesler.  He turned and stepped away.  He didn’t see anyone standing outside the locker room. 

As he got to the doors, he heard the commotion behind him.  The clear sound of a fist impacting a body.  He spun around.

“Fuck.”  He swore.

Kesler was on the ground.  He had his hand to his jaw.  Standing over top of him was Hilary.  She had her hands raised in a boxer stance.

“You’re done.  I don’t want you anywhere near my team.”  Jamie heard her say to Kesler. 

“Knighter?”  Jamie darted over to stand behind her, he put his hands lightly on her shoulders.  “What the fuck?”

“He’s a low-life, worthless asshole.  I heard about him.  What he’s been doing to you.  What he did.”

“It’s okay.  Really.  I took care of it.”  Jamie pulled her back away from Kesler.  “You didn’t…”

“Oh yeah I did.”  Hilary turned to look at Jamie.  Her face was flushed red.  “I heard about it.  How you wouldn’t let any of the guys put him down.  Well, I’m not one of them.  Fucking fucker.”  She started to lunge at Kesler, who was getting up.  He held up a hand in surrender.  Jamie grabbed Hilary’s shoulders tighter.

“He’s had enough.”  Jamie said.  “Jesus, how many times did you hit him?”

“Just once.”  Hilary spat at Kesler.  “Not enough.”

Jamie dragged her back towards the locker room.  Kesler got to his feet and slinked away. 

“I’m telling Shero that he’s done.  I can’t believe they would do that to you.  Have him coach.  I’m sorry, Jamie.  I didn’t know or I’d have never let it happen.”  Hilary said, giving Jamie a hug.

“It’s okay.”  He said as she stepped back.  “How’d you find out?”

“Jake.  He came to me and told me what’s been going on.  I didn’t know.  About any of it.  What happened in Anaheim.  What he’s been putting you through.  Oh my god, I’d have killed him if I were you.”

Jamie shook his head.  Jake.  Go figure.

“He was trying to get me to take a swing.  Get me kicked off the team.  I was handling it.”

“I saw.”  Hilary smiled.  “But I wanted to make sure he got the message.”

Jamie laughed.  “Well, thank you.  Shining Knight to my rescue.”

Hilary groaned.  “That was bad.”

“Won’t you get in trouble?”  Jamie asked.

“Nah.  It’ll be fine.  They won’t want the stink.  Think how good they’re gonna look when we win the gold.  They’ll let the bad press stay hidden.”  Hilary smiled.  “It’ll be fine.”

“Thank you.  Again.”  Jamie gave her another hug as Brian and the others came out.

“Fluff?  All okay?”  Brian asked.  “Saw Kesler rubbing his jaw.”

“Yeah, all good.  Knighter was just cleaning house for me.”  Jamie grinned.

“Coach?”  Auston looked at her in surprise.

“That’s right, big man.”  She put up her fists, shadow boxing at him.  “Keep you boys in line.”

They all started laughing.

Later that evening, when they were all gathered to watch the show, Hilary got a standing ovation from all the players when she came in.

The next day, Kesler left Sweden.


	21. Her Boyfriend's Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's short... but at least I wrote something...

“Can you believe what she did?”  Dillon pounded on Jamie’s shoulders as he stood behind him.  Jamie was sitting at a table in the conference helping set up the laptop to show the latest Crosby Olympics event.  “One punch.  One fucking punch!  Damn!”

Jamie winced as Dillon’s hits landed. 

“Yeah, okay.”  He said, trying to duck away.  “I was there.  No need to reenact it on my shoulders.”

“Fucking awesome!”  Dillon smacked Jamie’s shoulders again.

“Okay, okay.”  Jamie ducked away.  “I get it.  Fucking amazing.  Right.”

Just then, Hilary walked into the room.  The place erupted with applause, the guys all rising to their feet to give her a standing ovation. 

“Stop.  Stop.”  She said, raising her hands and motioning for them to sit.  “It wasn’t a big deal.”

“Hilary Ali.  Floats like a butterfly.”  Somebody yelled. 

“Stings like a bee!”  Someone else finished.

Hilary blushed, but ignored the comment.  She strode up to Jamie.

“Sorry.”  Jamie said. 

“Eh, it comes with the territory.”  She smiled.  “Being a bad ass has its price.”

Jamie laughed.

“What’s up tonight?”  She asked as the guys finally settled back down.

“Figure skating.  I think.”  Jamie said, bringing up the file Sid had sent them. 

Everyone took their seats and quieted as Jamie hit play.

_Crosby Olympics:  Pairs Figure Skating_

The title flashed across the screen, then faded to black.  As the next scene came into focus, Jamie could see that they were at the Olympic ice-skating venue.  Six couples were lined up on the ice, but you couldn’t tell who they were.  Each person was wearing a costume and had their face covered.  Based on size, Jamie could take a guess at who was who.

First up were Alex and Estelle, at least that’s what Jamie guessed.  They did a wonderful performance to a song from the Phantom of the Opera, which was also something Stelly would do.  They had on elaborately bedazzled outfits that Jamie thought maybe Stelly had even made herself.  She was into that kind of thing he knew.  The man wore a full mask and the woman was wearing a mask that covered the top half of her face.  The more Jamie watched them skate, the more sure he was that it was the youngsters. 

Next up was another pair of youngsters.  Jamie thought it was Scarlett and maybe Nikita.  That made Jamie wonder who Kylie would be paired with.  He had assumed she would skate with Nikki.  Maybe Sid would be skating.  He didn’t remember seeing a pair that looked like them at the beginning. 

They watched as all the pairs performed their routines.  Each was given a loud ovation by the players.  Finally, the last pair was introduced and on the ice.  They were both wearing hoodies pulled up tight over their faces.  Jamie wasn’t sure how they could see to skate.  Jamie paused.  No.  He knew who Kylie was skating with the minute they started their routine.

“Jake?”  Brian leaned over and whispered in his ear.  “Really?”

“Evidently.”  Jamie nodded slowly.  “Seems they made up okay.”

The pair skated to an upbeat hip-hop song, showing off some fancy footwork.  Jamie was impressed if it was Jake.  They finished their routine and took a big bow. 

Jamie wondered if they were going to reveal the identity of the competitors.  In addition to Stelly and Alex, Nikki and Scarlett, and Kylie with Jake, he had guessed that Horny skated with his daughter, Carl skated with Blanche, and the last pair had obviously been Flower and Tanger.

At the end, they all took the podium.  Each pair was given a medal and then for the first time, they played an anthem.  Jamie about choked on the sip of water he was taking when he heard the opening chords.

“Oh my god.”  Brian groaned.  “No.”

 _Chelsea Dagger_ filled the room.

“Perfect.”  Jamie chuckled.  “I have taught her well.”

“You’re warped.”  Brian smirked. 

After the ceremony, the skaters all revealed their identities.  Jamie had been right about each pair.  The video faded to black, then a new scene came into focus.  It was a blooper real of all the practices, which couldn’t have been many given Jake was skating with Kylie.  The last shot was again straight out of _The Cutting Edge._   Jake went to stop and fell on his face.  Kylie skated up and bent over him, looking directly into the camera. 

“Toe pick.” She grinned and skated away. 

That’s when Jamie saw what she was wearing.  It wasn’t what she’d been wearing in the other bloopers.  It was orange.  Philadelphia orange.

“Are you kidding me?”

“That’s right boys.”  Jake leaned forward and clasped a hand on Dillon and Andy’s shoulders.  “Her boyfriend’s back.”

“That’s so wrong.”  Dillon said.  “Just so wrong.”

“Her one true love.”  Jake laughed loudly.  “She loves me.  No doubt.”

“Jake.  I warned you.”  Jamie turned, glaring at Jake. 

He turned and looked up at the screen again.  Kylie was in Jake’s arms, wearing the Flyers sweater, smiling and giggling.  She looked so happy.  Jake turned so Kylie’s back was to the camera. 

 _Goo’s Girl_ was the name on the sweater.

Jamie dropped his chin to his chest and just shook his head slowly.

“She is so not my daughter.”

“Yeah, she is, Fluff.”  Brian smiled, patting Jamie’s back.  “She loves who she loves.  And she’s very forgiving.”


	22. Gold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short... again... but i'm writing... again...

The whole atmosphere changed around Team USA, a weight lifted.  The boys were more relaxed on the bench without Kesler there.  Their game against Sweden in the semi-final was their best game of the tournament.  They completely blew the Swedes out, 6-1.  Jamie had three assists and a goal.  And, a smile on his face the whole game.  He didn’t even care that Kylie wore Jake’s Flyers jersey to the game, or that Sid told him she hadn’t taken it off since she got it.

“You had it before I said anything, didn’t you?”  He’d said to Jake during warm-ups when he saw her.

“Yep.  I was hoping, ya know.”  Jake grinned.  “Not gonna really bury me, are you?”

“When are you guys in town again?”  Jamie’s face was expressionless.  Jake’s grin faded.

Jamie really couldn’t be too mad.  He understood the relationship Jake had with Kylie.  He had the same relationship with Estelle Fleury.  He’d made mistakes along the way there, too, hurting Estelle’s feelings.  Never intentionally.  She always forgave him.  She was his girl.  Kylie was Jake’s.

The Cheese Dip were a bit bent out of shape, however, at the prospect of no longer being Kylie’s number ones.  Jamie assured them that she loved them just as much as she loved Jake.  He’d just won her heart first.  Jamie wasn’t sure they bought it.

The big surprise of the day wasn’t Kylie in Jake’s sweater.  It was the second semi-final game.  Finland pulled out a close win over Canada for the upset of the tournament.  Dillon was crushed.  He’d sat on the bench for a long time just staring at the ice before he got up and made his way to the locker room.  When he finally exited the locker room later, Jamie was waiting for him.

“Tough loss.”  Jamie said, bumping Dillon’s shoulder with his own.  “You had a goal, though.  So, not all bad.”

“Fuck.”  Dillon huffed.  He shoved his hands in his pockets and hunched his shoulders.  “Fuck.  Fuck.  Fuck.”

“Here.”  Jamie held out a piece of paper.

“What’s that?”  Dillon asked without reaching for the paper.

“A present.”

Dillon finally took the paper and looked it over.  “What’s this?”

“The address of a hotel.  And a room number.”  Jamie said.  “Cheese is waiting there.  Go.  Get away from the village.  Get away from the press.  Get away from everything.  Spend a couple nights alone, just the two of you.  You don’t have any team commitments until the bronze medal game.”

“Why?  I mean…”

“Four years ago, Sully got Sid and I a room.  Told us to get away from all the Olympic shit for a night.  It helped.”  Jamie told him.  “I figured you guys could use some down time before we head home.  Enjoy Stockholm if you want.  Do some sight-seeing.” 

Jamie winked at him and added, “Or just spend the whole time in bed.  Nobody will bother you.” 

When they parted ways outside, Dillon had simply said thanks and gone off in the direction of the hotel.

Canada’s loss left just Jamie and Brian as the lone Pens still in the run for a gold medal.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Wheel!”  Jamie yelled at Brian as he skated behind the net to grab the puck.  “Wheel!”

Brian never broke stride never slowed.  Jamie turned up ice, swinging around in perfect unison with Brian and the other d-man.  He gauged his speed, waiting for Brian to catch up.  They hit the far blue line as a unit, Brian carrying the puck through the center with ease as Finland got caught making a change.  Their defense hustling to catch up to the four Team USA players rushing the net. 

It wasn’t a big advantage, four on three, but it was enough.  Jamie read the scene.  He had a forward playing defense in front of him, and he saw the opening.  He tapped his stick on the ice twice.  The pass came tape to tape.  Jamie didn’t really shoot as much as he deflected the puck towards the net.  It rose slightly, zipping over the goalie’s pads and into the back of the net.

He slammed into the glass behind the goal and was mobbed by his teammates.

“Way to go, Fluff!”  Brian yelled.

“We’re back in this!”  Larks grinned. 

“Do or die, baby!  Do or die!”  Jake shouted from the bench as the guys skated past for their high-five celebration. 

Jamie had brought them back to within a goal with just over five minutes left.  Finland had taken them a bit by surprise, coming out hard and fast from the opening puck drop.  They’d shocked them by scoring three fast goals.  The U.S. had made a goalie change and things had settled down from that point.  They’d held Finland scoreless since then and had fought their way back into it.

With three minutes left, Dylan tied the game with a wicked wrister.  With just thirty seconds left, Jake picked off a pass and broke for the net.  Jamie raced behind him.  He watched Jake deke left and then take the shot.  The puck went top shelf, right over Juuse Saros’ glove.


	23. Home Again

Jamie pushed the front door open and stepped inside.  He dropped his bags a short distance from the door.  Kylie followed him, dragging her bag across the floor and heaving it on top of his.

“Hello?”  Jamie called out.  “We’re home.”

“Nobody’s here.”  Kylie said.

“They knew we were coming.”  Jamie answered.  “Hello?”

They heard the French doors to the back patio slide open and dog nails click on the floor.  Lexie.  A second later they heard the frantic scratching of nails on the floor as Stanley scrambled to catch her.  He bounded around the corner and into the front hall ahead of Lexie, making a beeline for Kylie.

Stanley barreled into her, knocking her back onto the pile of luggage.  Kylie threw her arms around his neck, giggling wildly as he licked every inch of her face.  Lexie, acting much more lady like, padded over to Jamie who bent to hug and kiss her.

“Missed you girlie.”  Jamie scratched behind her ear and she leaned her head into his hand.

“I feel left out.”  Sid complained as he stepped through the door.

“Go see Papa.”  Jamie whispered to Lex, who obediently went to say hello to Sid.

Home.  There was no place like it.  Jamie was happy to be back.  It had been a good time, despite everything that happened, but he was always glad when he got back to the Burgh.

The trip home had been interesting.  Jake had caught a ride with them, so they’d made a short stop in Philadelphia to drop him off.  Jamie wasn’t sure why he hadn’t flown back on the Flyers’ charter with his teammates.  He didn’t mind, just wondered.  Kylie had spent most of the flight curled up on Jake’s lap.  She was still wearing his sweater, and as if that wasn’t bad enough, she had turned down Jamie’s gold medal and instead had Jake’s hanging around her neck.

It was still there.

Jake had said he’d get it the next time he was in Pittsburgh, which meant he’d be visiting them.  Joy.

Bags got carried upstairs and they settled in quickly.  Kylie couldn’t wait to get her snow suit on and head out to the backyard with Stanley.  Lexie had gone along, to supervise and keep them out of trouble no doubt.  Luc and Diane offered to stay and cook dinner so Jamie and Sid could catch some quiet time before things got hectic again the next day. 

The NHL wasn’t wasting any time getting back to work.  The team had practiced today and their first game after the break was tomorrow.  It wasn’t hard on guys who’d gone out early, but for medalists it didn’t give them much time to adjust to the time change again.  After two plus weeks, Jamie had switched to Sweden time. 

It wasn’t long before Jamie was stretched out on the couch, his head on Sid’s lap, to take a nap and catch up on his rest so he was ready to get back to the grind.  Sid turned on the TV and found an old movie to watch.  He casually played with Jamie’s hair, his fingers brushing through it lightly.  He thought about putting off telling Jamie the news he had to share.  Life was pretty good right at this moment, quiet domestic bliss.  The news was only going to get Jamie worked up.

But.

Better to just get it over with.

“Jame?”  He said softly after a few minutes.  “You sleepin?”

“Mmmm.”  Jamie hummed.

“I, um.  I was talking to Jake.  On the flight.”

“Uh huh.”  Jamie mumbled.  “Saw that.”

“He, uh, he said he misses Pittsburgh.”

“Uh huh.”

“I think he thinks he made a mistake.”

“His choice.”  Jamie opened one eye and looked up at Sid.  “And choices have consequences.  Isn’t that what you’re always saying?”

“Yeah, I know.  But, well, you’d feel the same way if you’d have left.  Right?  I mean.  You’d miss it here.”

“I wouldn’t have left.”

“You don’t know that.  You were all set to leave if they didn’t keep Brian.”

“I don’t get where you’re going with this.”  Jamie sat up, propping himself up on his elbow.  “Not the same thing.”

“I think he’d like to find a way to come back.”  Sid said bluntly. 

“Are you fucking with me?”

Sid shook his head.  “Would you be okay with it?”

Jamie laid his head back down on Sid’s lap.  “I don’t have a problem with Jake.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

“No.  Okay.  I wouldn’t care one way or the other.”

“Liar.”

Jamie huffed and propped himself up again. 

“He left, Sid.  He left so he could have his own team.  That’s what he said.  Now you’re saying he wants to come back to…”  Jamie huffed again and sat up fully.

“To your team.  Yes.  He wants to come back to your team.”  Sid finished for Jamie. 

“And he talked to you about it?  Why?”  Jamie tipped his head slightly, questioning Sid.  Sid nodded slowly.  Jamie’s eyes locked with Sid’s, waiting for what he knew was coming next.  He stared until Sid finally looked away.  “You fucker.”

“He asked.”  Sid said guiltily.

“You fucking fucker.  You’re gonna do it, aren’t you.”  Jamie swore at him. 

“I told him I couldn’t guarantee anything, but yes, I told him I’d talk to Grove.  See if he’d be interested.”  Sid admitted.  “It would be even better if you went to Grove about it.  If you were all for a trade.”

“For who?  Who exactly do you think I should throw under the bus because Jake is unhappy in Philly?”

“Couple of prospects from Wilkes.  Maybe some draft picks.  I’m not suggesting anybody on the team be traded.”  Sid said cautiously.  “And it doesn’t have to get done before the trade deadline.  But, ya know, maybe over the off season.  Wouldn’t hurt to pick up a veteran forward.  Hags is retiring, and…”

Jamie seemed to calm at that prospect, as long as he didn’t expect anybody to get traded this season.  He laid back down and rested his head on Sid’s lap again.

“If that’s the case.  Okay.  I guess it wouldn’t be a bad thing.  Kylie’d be thrilled.”

“Yep.”

“And it would add another veteran presence.”

“Yep.”

“Since we’ll be losing Hags and Olli.”  Jamie closed his eyes and snuggled back down against Sid.

“And… G.”  Sid said in a voice barely above a whisper.

“What?”

“Geno.”

Jamie sprang back up.

“Don’t fuck with me.”

“Geno’s not sure he’s going to make it to the end of the season.  His knee is really bothering him.”

“He’s got three years left on his contract.”

“What’s that line you like?  It’s not the years, honey.  It’s the miles.”  Sid said.  “He thinks he might have to have surgery again.”

“Fuck.”  Jamie swore.  He started to lie back down then hesitated.  “You got any more bombshells you want to drop on me?”

Sid shook his head.

“Too much change, Sid.  There’s just been too much change, and now… fuck… Geno.”

“Sorry.”  Sid whispered.

“Not your fault.  Why hasn’t he said anything to me?”

“Doesn’t want to put anything else on your plate.  Just wants to be there to help and support you.”

“That sounds like G.”  Jamie closed his eyes.  “Sid, you sure no more bombshells?”

“No more.  That’s it.”

“Fuck.”

“Huh?”

“Was kinda hoping you were gonna tell me you’re coming out of retirement.”

“Nice try, but not happening, baby boy.”

“Fuck.”


	24. Sound Advice

February in Pittsburgh had been a cold, snowy affair so far, and it didn’t look like that would change any time soon.  The forecast for the coming week called for snow every day.

Jamie worried a little about taking Lexie on his runs when the temperature was too cold.  She, however, seemed to thrive on it.  Every morning he was home, she dutifully met him at the door to head out into the cold and dark.  As a therapist, she picked up right where she’d left off before the break.

It didn’t matter any more where the Pens were practicing.  Lexie had an office in Cranberry and at PPG.  She was busy most days as the white board outside her office filled up quickly with appointments.  The team practiced, they talked to Lexie, they played games, and… they won.  Since coming back from the Olympic break, the Pens had gone 5 – 0.

Things were clicking.

Jamie put Sid’s news flashes out of his head.  Jake wasn’t an issue.  Geno was doing okay.  They’d talked.  Geno had assured him his knee wasn’t as bad as Sid had made it out to be.  Mind you, it was bad, but he wasn’t going to let it keep him off the ice.  Yet.

Jamie checked Lexie’s schedule and saw it was going to be a while before they got out of there after practice.  He made his way over to the medical part of the training center and stopped outside an all too familiar office.  He knocked.

“Come on in, Jamie.”  The all too familiar voice called out.

“Hey.”  He said as he walked in and closed the door behind him.  He flipped the lock.  “Am I late?”

“Nope.”  She answered.  He was, however, almost fifteen minutes late.  “Never.”

“Whew.”  He smiled and flopped down in the chair across from her desk.

“So…  congratulations on winning another gold.  That’s got to feel good.”

“It does.”  Jamie smiled.  “It was a long, trying road, though.”

“I saw.  You were okay?  I didn’t get any panic calls.”  She laughed, but looked truly concerned.

“It was… okay.”  Jamie said, then told her all about his experiences at the Olympics.

“I think I could like Hilary.”  Janet told him when he got done.

“Me too.”  Jamie laughed.

“You know, I’ve been starting to get the idea I’d been replaced.” 

“You?  Never?”  Jamie had been coming to Janet for counseling for over 10 years now. 

“Right.”

“Oh!  Lexie.”  Jamie realized what she meant.  “Yeah, she’s like the doggie version of you.  But, she’ll never take your place.  She can’t yell at me like you do.”

“Uh huh.  She’s good for them, though.  It was a good move.”

“Thanks.”  Janet smirked.  "At least you didn't saw I was like the people version of her."

Even though they laughed about it, they both understood the stigma that still surrounded seeking mental health treatment.  Coming to Janet was like admitting you were messed up.  Talking to Lexie wasn’t.

“Okay, so tell me.  What’s going on?”

“Well…”

“Well?”

“Nothing.”

“And that’s a problem?”

“Yes.”

She watched him fidget for a minute, looking for the all too familiar tells. 

“Because,” she paused.  When he didn’t elaborate, she kept going.  “Because it’s going too well?  You’re worried.”

“Something bad’s gonna happen.”

“Maybe.  Maybe not.” She shrugged.

“No.  There’s no maybe.  It’s just a given.  If life is good.  Bad shit happens.”

After ten years, this is what he still holds on to.  Most of his demons are kept at bay.  She seldom sees them these days.  But, this one may always be around.  He can’t have anything good happen for him.  It always brings something bad.

“What’s going to happen?”  She asks.

“G.  I can feel it.  His knee is bad.”

“And how is that bad for you?”  She questions.  “It’s a part of sports.  It’s a part of life.  People have careers and they retire, for one reason or another.  It’s not a bad thing.”

“It’s too much change.  I’m just getting… it’s just… it’s too much.”

“Nonsense.”

Jamie closes his eyes and tips his head back against the chair.

“What?”  She asks, then waits.

He takes several deep breathes, in and out slowly.  He opens his eyes and stares up at the ceiling.

“I wish… I wish…”

Janet watched him closely.

“I wish.”  He looked across the desk at her.

“You wish what?”

“Nothing.   Never mind.  It’s not…”

“It’s what I’ve heard since the season started, isn’t it?”

Jamie nodded his head.  “I should have waited a year.  Let the team adjust.  Even if G didn’t take it, we should have just gone with three A’s.”

“And that’s nonsense, too.”

“That’s what you keep saying.”

“I think my replacement shows that you’re doing a good job.  You were ready for this.”

“Huh?”

“You saw a problem with the team, and you fixed it.  Isn’t that what a good captain does?  The team has adjusted, Jamie.  The fans have adjusted.  It’s still a Crosby’s team, that’s all they cared about.  They trust you to lead, just the way they trusted Sid.”

“I guess so.”

“No guessing about it.”  Janet smiled warmly.  “Look.  Things happen.  Right?  Good, bad, in different.  Just like all the things you’ve overcome.  Things happen for a reason?  Maybe.  Maybe not.  But things happen and how we deal with that is what makes us who we are.  Right?”

Jamie nodded.  He’d heard this all before, a thousand times.  But, he needed to hear it a thousand more.

“So, the thing is to just live in the moment, right?  Isn’t that where we’re at?  We don’t worry about the past.  We don’t worry about the future, about things we can’t control.  Today… life is good.  Right?”

Jamie nodded again.

“Then just be in today.  Enjoy life.  If the bad things you worry about happen, you’re gonna deal with them.  Right?  Regardless of whether you get yourself all worked up worrying about them now or not.  Right?”

“Right.”  Jamie said softly.  “But…”

“Jamie.”  She scolded.

“Right.”  He said again.

\------------------------------------------------

Jamie attached the seatbelt to Lexie’s harness and she laid down on the passenger seat, curling up in a ball.  When he got in, he reached over and rubbed her ears.

“Good day, girlie?”

Lexie lifted her head and licked his hand.

“Fixed a bunch of problems I hear.”

She laid her head back down but kept her eyes on Jamie.

“What say we stop and sign a few autographs?  That okay with you?”

Lexie closed her eyes as Jamie backed his Jeep around and pulled over to the security gate to the players’ parking lot.

“Kids.  Lots of them today.  Must not have been school somewhere.”  Paul, the head of security, informed him.

“Joy.  I was only gonna sign a few.”  Jamie said.  “Oh well, might as well do the whole line.”

Lexie lifted her head and growled lowly.

“Oh stop complaining.  It’s not like you have plans for the rest of the day.”

It took Jamie over ten minutes to cover the whole line of fans who had stayed after practice to get autographs.  They had waited over two hours, how could he not stop.  It was something else he’d learned from Sid. 

Once he got to the end of the line, he thanked the security guard and pulled away.

“Shall we just shoot down 79 today?”  He asked Lexie.  Normally he would take all the back roads home and avoid the interstate.  Today he just wanted to get home.

“Ya know what Janet said?  You’ve replaced her.  That’s funny, huh.” 

Lexie opened her eyes and looked up at him.

“As if anyone could replace her.”

Lexie huffed and closed her eyes again.

“Sorry.”  Jamie smiled.  “She also said to just live in the moment.  She tells me that a lot.  Whatta ya think?  Good advice?”

He reached down and put his hand by Lexie.  She moved her head over and laid it on top of his hand. 

“That’s what I thought.  So, okay, no worrying about G retiring.  If it happens, well, it happens.  I’ve gotten by so far this season without Sid.  It’s not like I’d be losing Brian or anything, right?  So, I can handle whatever happens.”

Lexie opened her eyes.  She woofed softly.

“Yeah.  Except that.”  Jamie said solemnly.  “We have to make the playoffs.”

Lexie’s tail happily thumped against the seat in agreement.


	25. Bad Things Happen in Threes... Or Fours... Or Fives?

Don’t worry, Sid said.  Nothing’s going to happen this season, Sid said.  Geno’s gonna play out this season, Sid said.  A trade for Jake won’t happen this season, Sid said.

Things are going too good, Jamie said.   Bad things are going to happen, Jamie said.

Jamie was right.  The bad he knew was coming came.  Right before the trade deadline.

It was rather fortunate for the Pens that the trade deadline had been moved back several days from normal due to the break.  Grove had been prepared to stand pat at the deadline.  The team had come together, things were clicking and there was no need to bring in anyone who might upset the apple cart.  The team chemistry was some of the best Jamie had seen in his career.

If the bad had happened after the trade deadline it would have been worse.  Sure, they could have brought up some of the kids from Wilkes, but Jamie wasn’t sure they had anyone down there that was NHL ready.  Over the last two years, they’d depleted their depth chart, at least in his opinion. 

It happened against Calgary two days before the deadline.  And, it was bad.

In the first period, they lost Geno.  Jamie had watched the play unfold from the bench.  He knew the minute Geno hit the boards that it wasn’t good.  His knee had been caught up awkwardly underneath him.  He struggled to get up and needed help to get off the ice.  Jamie had watched him hobble down the runway to the locker room and he knew what the fans didn’t know.  Geno’s season was done.  Geno’s career was done.

In the second period, they lost Andy.  He was out on a penalty kill and blocked a shot off the back of his hand.  He tried to keep playing but couldn’t hold his stick.  The x-rays confirmed what Jamie expected, a broken hand.  Andy was going to be out at least through the first round of the playoffs.

Also, in the second period, they lost Jack Wheeler.  The hit looked bad, and illegal.  Matthew Tkachuk got a game misconduct and a ten-minute major.  He left the ice with a bloody lip and black eye, courtesy of Jamie who’d been right behind Wheeler when he got hit.  Jamie’s gloves had hit the ice almost at the same time Jack hit it.  Tkachuk was caught off-guard, not expecting the captain to come to his teammate’s defense.  Jamie got in several good punches before the officials broke them up.  He took a two-minute for instigating and five-minute for fighting.  Wheeler left the game with a concussion.  His status started as day-to-day, but was almost immediately changed to week-to-week.

That was three.  Three forwards in two periods.  And the hockey gods weren’t done with them yet.

In the third period, Brian took a puck off the side of his knee.  He missed several shifts but managed to finish the game.  He had a nasty bruise, but nothing was obviously sprained, strained, or broken.  His status was day-to-day.  From the description he gave Jamie of how it felt, Jamie guessed it would be several days.  And, several games.

Later in the third period, they lost Carl Hagelin.  Hags was the victim of a high-stick, from his own teammate.  Jamie.  Hags lost several teeth and had a nasty cut to the inside of his cheek that required several stitches.  He was also listed as day-to-day after the game.  Jamie apologized profusely.  The day after the game, he sent Hags a case of his favorite beer. 

That summed up the night completely.  If it was bad, it was going to happen.  The 5 – 0 drubbing they got was just the cherry on top of the shit sundae.

Four forwards and one defenseman down for the count in one game.  Three of the forwards would be out long term.  That put Grove into panic mode.  Jamie worried about any rash decisions he might make.  Yes, they needed forwards.  Yes, they needed a center.  No, they did not need just any body they could get.  He weighed his options, talked to Sid and Sully, and then went to Grove.

“I don’t like it, but I can fill in at center.”  Jamie said, sitting down across from Grove’s desk.  Sully was also there.  Unlike Sid, Jamie had taken a key interest and role in the management of the team right from the start of his captaincy.

“I’ve seen you play center,” Sully snorted, “not an ideal situation.”

“Just the face-offs.  I’ve gotten better.”

“When was the last time you took a face-off?  Outside of practice?”

Jamie thought, tucking his lower lip between his teeth and scrunching his brow. 

“My point exactly.”  Sully smirked.

“What exactly is our injury outlook?”  Grove asked, drawing them back to the issue at hand.

“Geno’s having surgery.  He’s going on long-term IR.  I think he’d done, will ride that out to the end of his contract.”  Sully said.  “Schwartz is out til maybe the second round of the playoffs, if we make it that far.  There is an off chance he gets back sooner, but he broke a couple of bones.  Wheeler is out, too.  I don’t see him coming back this season.  He’s not doing well, but, you know concussions, he could be perfectly fine tomorrow.  Hags is okay.  I don’t think they necessarily want him playing with stitches in his mouth, but I think he’s planning on it.  May only miss one game.  Dumo’s gonna miss a game, or two, but that should be it.”

Hearing Sully list it all out, Jamie realized just how bad the bad was. 

“So, we need a center.  And a left-winger.  If we have any aspirations of making the playoffs.”  Grove mused.

“We’ll make the playoffs.”  Jamie stated flatly.  “We’re in a good spot, second in the Metro.  Four points and a game in hand on Carolina.  And, only a month or so to go.  We can do this.”

“Who do we bring up?”  Grove questioned.

“Perelli?  Morton?  Lindholm?”  Sully questioned.

“Lindholm.  Of those three, he’s the only one I think will fit in to the team.”  Jamie offered.  “Perelli is too cocky.  Was at camp and from what I hear hasn’t learned anything at Wilkes that he didn’t already know.” 

“He’s the better center.”  Grove said.  “More points.  More goals.”

“More trouble.”  Jamie added.

“Jamie has a point.  Talent only goes so far.  You don’t really want to mess with the dynamics of this team that way.”  Sully agreed.

“Okay.  Lindholm.  I’ll make the move.”  Grove made a note on his calendar.  “What about wing?”

“Well…”  Jamie started.  “Since we’re in agreement Perilli is a problem child…”

“I don’t think we’re in agreement about that.”  Grove interjected.

“… since Sully and I think he’s a problem child,” Jamie corrected, “maybe you’d be willing to dangle him out there as bait?”

“With?”  Grove turned his head slightly and gave Jamie the skeptical side-eye.

“Philadelphia.  They’ve been selling.  I think they’d be open to a trade for a promising young center.”  Jamie said.

“For?”  Grove questioned.  “Who do they have left that we might want?”

“Guentzel.”

“Oh, now that’s a thought.”  Sully nodded.  “And not a bad thought at all.  Known commodity.  Will fit in okay.  I think that Jamie’s on to something here.”

“Guentzel?  I don’t know if we can afford him.”

“G’s salary just came off the cap hit.”  Jamie stated.  “G makes more than Goo.  I think we can handle it.”

“You want to do my job now, Mr. Crosby?”  Grove glared.

“Maybe.  Look, we’ve had this discussion before.  Yeah, you’re the GM.  But this is my team.  Looking around the league, there are wingers available.  Less expensive wingers.  But like Sully said, why mess with the dynamics of this team.  Jake will be a good fit.  Bring Lindholm up.  And we’re good to go.  We’ve got Namikov who’s been a scratch most of the season, and you’d still have Morton hanging in the wings.  So, we only needed to find two forwards really.”

“Sully?”  Grove looked to his coach.

“I have to agree with Jamie.  And yes, I’ve already given in to the fact that this is his team.  I may have been able to control Sid, but Jamie isn’t Sid.”  Sully smiled.  “Lindholm and Guentzel if you can get him.  I think we do okay.”

Grove sat silently for several moments.  Finally he nodded in agreement. 

“Okay.  I’ll give Philly a call and see what I can do.”  Grove said.  “Thanks, Jamie.  I’ll let you know how we make out.”

Jamie knew that was the sign that he was being dismissed.  He got up, leaned over the desk to shake Grove’s hand, nodded at Sully and left.

“He’s gonna be a hell of a GM someday.”  Sully grinned.

“Yes, he is.”  Grove agreed. 

Later that night, Jamie got a text from Grove.

_done deal_

Jamie made a phone call.

“Get her a new Pens’ jersey,” he said when Jake answered.  “We’re burning that god-awful orange thing.”


	26. Surprises

While the hockey gods were busy hammering the Pens, Mother Nature was busy hammering Pittsburgh.  March was certainly roaring in like a lion.

Sid felt the bed dip as Jamie rolled over and sat up, dangling his legs over the edge.  He rolled over and grabbed Jamie’s pillow, hugging it tight to his chest.

“It’s snowing.”  Sid looked at the flakes falling outside the window.

“Uh huh.”  Jamie said sleepily. 

“It’s like a blizzard.  You seriously aren’t gonna run in this.”

“No rest for the wicked.”  Jamie got up and walked to the bathroom.  A few minutes later, Sid heard the toilet flush and the water running in the sink.  Jamie walked out and across the room, sitting in a chair while he got dressed in his cold weather running gear.  Lexie, curled up on the foot of the bed, raised her head and looked at him.

“You coming?”  Jamie asked as he walked to the door.

Lexie laid her head back down and snuffled at him.

“Fair weather dog all of the sudden?” 

“Smart girl.”  Sid said.  “Dumb Daddy.”

“Fine.”  Jamie huffed.  “I’ll be back.”

Sid patted the bed next to him and Lexie got up and moved to Jamie’s still warm space.  She curled up tight to Sid.

“He’s an idiot, huh, Lex.”

An hour and a half later, Sid felt Lexie stir.  He heard the bedroom door open and Jamie pad across the floor to the bathroom.  Sid heard the water start running in the shower and he rolled over.  He stretched his arms and legs, working out the morning kinks before he got out of bed.  He got up and made his way across the room to the bathroom.  Jamie was singing in the shower.

Sid used the toilet and flushed it, then stepped to the sink and turned on the hot water.

“You fucking asshole!”  Jamie complained from the shower as first his water pressure dropped and then he got hit with cold water as Sid took away his hot water. 

“Suck it up.”  Sid laughed, turning off the water and drying his hands.  “You like the cold.”

“Fuck you.”  Jamie scolded again.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.  Not this morning.”  Sid snorted.  “I’m gonna go get her up.”

“Let her sleep.  It’s really shitty out.  Don’t think she should go today.”

“That bad?”

“Really shitty.”  Jamie repeated.

“Fine.  I’m going back to bed then.”

“Could always stay up.”  Jamie opened the shower door and stuck his head out.  “Fucker.”

Sid stopped, debating his options.  Warm bed.  Jamie in the shower. 

“Warm bed calling me back, baby boy.”  Sid chuckled.  He walked over and climbed back into bed next to Lexie.

“Asshole.”  Jamie complained as he slammed the shower door shut again.

It wasn’t long before Sid heard footsteps and felt the bed dip as Kylie climbed up next to him.

“Time to get up, Papa.”  She shoved on his shoulders. 

“No school today, Sunshine.  Daddy says it’s really nasty out, so you get to stay home with me today.”

“Yay!”  She squealed and snuggled in under the covers with him.  A few minutes later, Stanley came padding into the room and joined the pile on the bed.

On his way out to practice, Jamie stopped to bend and lightly kiss the tops of Sid and Kylie’s heads.  He ruffled Lexie and Stanley’s fur and left his family to sleep in on this blustery day.

Stanley whining to go out woke everyone up.  Sid got up and took the dogs downstairs, letting them out into the backyard.  A few minutes later, Kylie came bounding down the stairs.

“Is it still snowing?”

“It is.  White out time.”  Sid answered.

“After breakfast can we play outside?”

“In the blizzard?”

“Uh huh.”

“We’ll see.”  Sid knew he’d give in if she asked again.  His only hope was if he could distract her and she’d forget about it.  “Pancakes for breakfast?”

“Cereal.  It’s quicker and we can go out.”

“I’m wanting pancakes.”  Sid said, getting the mix out of the cupboard.  “And bacon?”

“Hhhhmmm… okay.”  Kylie nodded.  “Mmmmmm… bacon.”

“Why don’t you go let the kids in and I’ll get started.  You can make the pancakes if you want.”

“Okay.”  She said happily and skipped off to let the dogs in.  “Wow.”  Sid heard her exclaim when she saw the snow coming down outside.

“Blizzard time.  Daddy wasn’t joking, was he.”  He said when she came back.

“Nope.  It’s gonna be awesome!”

Sid groaned under his breath.  She was very focused once she set her mind to something.

Luckily, making the pancakes took over an hour with her help.  Then they had to spend time cleaning the kitchen.  Sid made a suggestion that they make cookies for Jamie instead of going outside, since it was still so nasty.  Kylie pouted for a couple of minutes before Sid sweetened the deal, telling her she could make some to take to Jake who would be joining the Pens at practice today.

“You can take them tomorrow.  He’ll love it.”  Sid said.  “What kind should we make?”

“Choco lotto chippy.  It’s his favorite.”

“Are you sure?”

“It’s my favorite.”

“Uh huh.  Okay, that’s what I thought.”

“Daddy likes choco lottos.  We can make some for him, too.”

“Daddy like choco lotto cookie dough.”  Sid laughed and grabbed Kylie up in his arms, giving her kisses.  “We need to make them before he gets home and eats it all.”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jamie opened the door and stepped inside.  The warm smell of fresh baked cookies wafted through the house.  It was unlikely Sid was burning candles.

“Mmmmm… cookies.”  Jamie said.  “Wait here.”

He made his way to the kitchen.  Kylie, hands covered in cookie dough, rushed to him, throwing herself into his arms as he bent over.

“Sticky hands.”  Jamie complained.  “Yucky.”

“Choco lotto chippies.”  Kylie held her hands up.  “Here.”

“Well that’s a different story.”  He laughed as she shoved a hand towards his mouth.  “Yummy.”

“That’s disgusting.”  Sid mockingly scolded them.  “Really?”

“Yummy.”  Jamie hummed, eating another piece of dough off Kylie’s hand.  “So, to what do I owe this wonderful surprise?”

“They’re for Jake.”  Kylie exclaimed, squirming down out of Jamie’s arms and going back to help Sid.

“Ah ah ah… go wash your hands first.”  Sid cringed at the hands reaching for the dough. 

“Jake gets cookies?”  Jamie put his hand to his heart.  “Not me?  I’m hurt.  And after I brought you home a present.”

“Present?”  Kylie shook her wet hands to dry them.  “Where?”

“Use a towel, Sunshine.  God she is so your child.”  Sid rolled his eyes at Jamie.

“Where’s my present?”  Kylie asked again, jumping up and down.

“In the hallway, by the door.”  Jamie said finally taking time to pay attention to Stanley and Lexie, who’d been waiting patiently for him to pet them. 

He walked over to the counter where Sid was doling out cookie dough onto a baking sheet.  He reached for one of the globs of dough and Sid smacked his hand.  

“Ouch.  Fucker.”

Right about then, Kylie squealed loudly from the hallway and the dogs raced for the door, barking wildly.

“What the hell did you get her?”

Jamie just grinned.  A second later, Jake walked into the kitchen, Kylie slung over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.  Stanley and Lexie were still barking and jumping at him.

“I found this in the hall.”  Jake said.  “Smells like cookie dough.  Should I throw it out?”

“Nnnnnnnnnoooooooooooooo.”  Kylie giggled as he put her down.

“Jake.”  Sid said, looking at Jamie in total confusion.

“Jake’s gonna be staying with us.”  Jamie said.  “Sunshine, why don’t you show him where the extra bedroom is upstairs.”

“Which one?”  Kylie asked.

“The blue room.”  Jamie said.  He smiled and nodded at Jake.  “Sid and I need to have a moment.”

Jake nodded.  He gave Jamie a concerned glance as Kylie pulled him back to the hallway.  Jamie waved him out and just kept smiling.

“He’s going to be staying here?”  Sid questioned once Jake and Kylie were out of earshot.  “For how long?”

“I don’t know.  The rest of the season?”  Jamie shrugged, reaching for cookie dough again.  Sid smacked his hand again, harder this time.  “Ow.  Damn it.  Share.”

“No.  What do you mean for the rest of the season?  Jesus Jamie, I said make amends at the Olympics not become his long-lost best friend again.  First you get him traded back here…”

“Which you were all for if I remember correctly…”

“I was, but you…”

“Look, as his captain, I didn’t think it would be right to let him stay at some lonely ol’ hotel.  I mean, it’s Jake, not some new guy we don’t know.  And…”  Jamie’s hand darted out and grabbed a glob of dough before Sid could hit it.  “Kylie will be happy to have her favorite babysitter around.”

“Babysitter?”

“Yep.  Part of the deal.  Jake babysits while you and I go out.”  Jamie shoved the dough in his mouth and grinned happily.

“Well then.  That’s different.”

“Mmmmm….”  Jamie hummed.  He leaned forward and gave Sid a quick peck on the lips.  “I’m not completely altruistic in my captainly duties.”

“I trained you well.”  Sid grinned and leaned up to kiss him back.


	27. The More, The Merrier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An old friend arrives in Pittsburgh, and the Crosby house gets a bit more crowded.

Jake slid back into the Pens like he’d never been gone.  Lindholm was better than expected.  Unfortunately, it wasn’t quite enough to help the Pens get past all the injuries.  At least, not at first.

The Pens went on a downward spiral through the first half of March.  Five losses in a row took them from second in the Metro to a wild card spot, one they were barely holding on to by St. Patrick’s Day.  Two days before that day, Jamie got a strange text message.

_Can you pick me up at airport on St Patrick’s? I know you don’t have a game that day._

He replied with a yes and got the flight details.  On the 17th, he dutifully drove down to the airport and found a spot to wait until he got a text telling him his passenger was ready.  He hadn’t asked any questions, but he did have Kylie’s old car seat strapped into the backseat.  She had texted that morning and asked him to bring it.  He wasn’t sure what was going on now.

_Here.  Gate 4._

He drove around to the passenger pick-up area and pulled up to gate 4, stopping in front of a familiar face.  And, a not-so-familiar face.  He got out and walked around the front of the Jeep.

“Hey, beautiful.  You look good.  What brings you to the Burgh?”  Jamie wrapped his arms around Toni, giving her a huge bear hug.

“Work.”  She said quietly. 

Her whole body was stiff as Jamie hugged her.  He wondered if she was worried about how he’d react to seeing her with the small boy.  He looked to be two or three years old, and although Jamie and Toni had stayed in touch the last few years, she had never mentioned having a child.

He squatted down and looked around her at the small child hugging her legs tightly.

“And who’s this handsome little man?  Hi, I’m your Uncle Jamie.”  Jamie held his hand out.

“Tony, say hello.”

Tony reluctantly reached out and slapped at Jamie’s hand.  “Ho.”  He said softly.

“He’s tired.  Long flight, lots of layover time in Chicago.  It’s his first time flying.”  Toni rambled on for a few seconds.  “Sorry.”

Jamie stood up and gave Toni a warm smile.  “You want to get him in the seat, and I’ll throw your luggage in the back?”

Tony nodded and Jamie watched some of the tension melt away.  A few minutes later they pulled away from the curb and headed back towards Sewickley.  They rode in silence.  Jamie had a million questions, but it wasn’t his place to ask.  He’d have to wait for Toni to offer the information.

“You’re goin the wrong way.”  Toni said when Jamie exited to go north on 79 instead of staying on 376 headed into the city.  “Our hotel’s downtown.”

“Yeah, about that, you’re not staying at some hotel.  We have lots of room.  I told you that.”

“Jamie.  I’m not.  I made reservations for us.”  Toni snapped.  “We had this conversation.”

“Uh huh, we did.  I changed your reservations though, to Hotel Crosby.”

“Jamie.”

He glanced over at her.  She looked… worried.

“Sid and I talked.  We want you to stay with us.”

“It’s not just me, though.  You haven’t said anything.  Don’t you want to know?”  She asked cautiously.

“If you want to tell me.  If not, no probs.”  Jamie shrugged.  “But, yeah, I’m wondering why you didn’t say anything when you called with your flight info.  Or, the last what, three years?”

The worried look changed, tinged with guilt.

“I’m sorry.  I just, I didn’t know what kind of reaction I’d get, and, well the whole thing was just a train wreck and I couldn’t risk losing my tuition money and…”

“You thought I’d take back the money?  Cause you had a kid?”  Jamie turned to look at her.  “Come on, Toni.  I’m not that way.”

“I couldn’t.  Look,” she paused and glanced over her shoulder to the back seat.  Tony had fallen asleep.  “His father was someone I worked with.  I thought we’d be together, but, well things didn’t work out the way I thought.”

“If you want to tell me.”  Jamie said again.  “Like I said, none of my business if you don’t.  You’re here.  That’s all that matters to me.  You’ll stay with us until we can find you a house.  And I can show you guys around the Burgh.”

“Aren’t you curious?  I mean…”

“Yes.  I’ve got a million questions running through my head.  But I’m not gonna ask.  You said you’re here cause of work?”

“I’m gonna finish my residency at UPMC.  I… I needed a change of scenery.”

“Awesome.  Any chance you’ll be working out at Cranberry?”  Jamie asked hopefully.

“Yes.”  She chuckled.  “I’m hoping to work with you guys.”

“Excellent.  Told you my investment would pay off.”  Jamie laughed.  “And Tony can hang out at the day care with the kids.  And he can learn to skate and…”

“Jamie.”

“What?”

“Slow down.”

“We have babysitters, too.  Grandparent type babysitters.  They’re gonna love watching him for you.”  Jamie continued, grinning widely.

“Uncle Jamie?” 

“Hells yeah.  Just like Kylie calls you Aunt Toni.”

“She calls me T-too.” 

“Whatever.”  Jamie laughed.  “She calls you Aunt T-too.  Or she will.”

Toni smiled and patted Jamie’s hand that was resting on the center consul.

“I’m not the judgemental type, Toni.  So whatever you want to tell me, whenever you want to tell me, it’ll be fine.”

She rested her head against the seatback and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. 

“He was married.  A surgeon at the hospital where I was doing my residency.  I was kind of hoping, but you know the deal, he wasn’t ever gonna leave his wife.  And he didn’t, doesn’t, want anything to do with Tony.”  She said softly, solemnly.  “It got to the point where he was making my life a living hell at work.  Trying to make me look bad.  Always criticizing me.  I mean, I didn’t ask him for anything.  I didn’t want anything.  He just…”

“Was an asshole.”

“Yes.”

“Men.  Such bastards.”

Toni laughed.  “Yes.  You are.”

“So, like I said.  You’ll stay with us.  Jake Guentzel’s camped out in one guest room.  Lucky for you we have more than one.  And…”

“Jamie.”

“Family, Toni.  Family is there for you when you need them.”

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jamie came out of the bathroom and made his way to the bed.  He climbed in and rolled over on his side, facing away from Sid who was sitting up reading a magazine.

“Night.”  Jamie whispered.

“We need to talk.”

“Tired.  Need to get to sleep.  Big day tomorrow.”

“You were supposed to take her to her hotel.”

“I know.”  Jamie huffed.  He rolled over so he was facing Sid.  “But I couldn’t.  When I say her there, with the kid, I couldn’t, Sid.”

“You told her we’d talked about it.  That I was okay with it.”  Sid sounded annoyed.

“Yeah.  I knew you’d be okay with it.”  Jamie tipped his head back slightly and looked up at Sid.

“Don’t.”  Sid didn’t look down.  If his eyes met Jamie’s, it was all over.  He needed to let Jamie know he wasn’t happy.

“You’re not okay with it.”

“Jesus, Jame, where the fuck are we supposed to put everyone?”

“We have lots of room.”

“When my folks come?  And Taylor?  They’re coming for the playoffs.”

“We have lots of room.”

“Not that much.  And you keep bringing people home.  Like homeless strays.  Weren’t Lex and Stanley enough?”

“I’m sorry.  But what was I supposed to do?  You want her… you want that cute, little boy living in a hotel?  Would you have wanted Kylie to live in a hotel at that age?  Toni doesn’t have anybody, Sid.  Not family like we have family.”

“You said never again after the boys left.”

“That was no more rookies.  Jake and Toni aren’t the same thing as the Cheese Dip.” 

Jamie scrambled out from under the covers and climbed over to straddle Sid’s outstretched legs.  Sid dipped his chin to his chest, trying to ignore Jamie.

“Are you really mad?”  Jamie leaned forward and rested his forehead against Sid’s.  “Sid?”

“Yes.”

Jamie went to give him a kiss on the cheek.  Sid jerked his head away.

“Really?”

“I just don’t like being surprised.  First Jake, the Toni.  I’m trying to get into a routine, and you keep throwing a wrench into it.”  Sid huffed.

There it was, the real problem. 

“I’m sorry.  I should have talked to you, you’re right.”

Sid tipped his head back, so he was looking at Jamie. 

“You’re doing great with the whole retirement thing.  I know it hasn’t been… easy… for you.  No routine.  But that’s not been all bad has it?”  Jamie said.

“No.  If it was, I’d be back with the team.”

“Yep.  You told me that wasn’t gonna happen.”

“It’s not.  Don’t even get any ideas.”  Sid smiled.

“Good.  I don’t think you’d fit in on my team.”

“Your team?”  Sid snorted.  “If I came back, it’d be my team again.”

“Not a chance, pretty boy.”  Jamie leaned in and kissed him lightly.  “So, they can stay?  Til they find a house?”

“What the hell, why not.  The more the merrier, baby boy.”

“I love you.”  Jamie leaned forward and kissed Sid’s forehead.

“All of you, baby boy.”


	28. Geno

The second half of March went much better.  They struggled, but they won.  They won enough, and the Islanders lost enough, that the Penguins climbed back up to the third seed in the Metropolitan by the end of the regular season.  With three games left, they clinched a playoff spot.  It hadn’t necessarily been pretty, but they got there.  Jamie wasn’t worried, per se.  Last season had been the same way.  They’d slunk into the playoffs and ended up winning it all.  Back-to-back championships, however, were nearly impossible.  That worried him.  He’d already gotten his back-to-back.  He didn’t know if this team had it in them to do that again.

They’d give it all they had, though.  That Jamie knew for sure.

Things at the house, the very crowded house, were hectic, in a good way.  Sid, for all his hesitation, seemed to actually be flourishing in the chaos that was their life.  To his surprise, Jamie and Jake carpooled most days to practice or games.  Toni was a blessing to have around the house as she took over doing the laundry. 

Jamie bought Toni a car, a good, four-wheel drive for the nasty Pittsburgh winters.  She’d protested, of course, and he’d just said ‘family’.  She wasn’t used to this kind of life.  Part of her felt guilty, part of her loved being taken care of by Jamie.  She especially liked the role Uncle Jamie was taking in Tony’s life.  He made time for Tony.  He took him with him to practice, got him a pair of skates and had him on the ice before they’d even really gotten settled in.  Tony, who’d been shy the first couple of days in this new world, was suddenly thriving on the attention.  He had become Jamie’s little shadow, following him around everywhere.  Tony and Kylie had already bonded, too.  She was relishing the role of big sister.

Life was good.

Jamie was ready to lead the team to a cup.

The day before they were to fly out to Carolina for the first game of round one, Jamie took Geno out for lunch after practice.  Geno had been able to ditch the crutches, but he still wore a brace and had a noticeable limp.  They went to the Primanti’s in Cranberry, sitting in as private an area as they could get.

“So, how was rehab today?”  Jamie asked once they had their drinks and had ordered their meal.

“Was good.  I’m feel better every day.”  Geno said.  He dipped his head, though, staring at the table.  “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?  Why?”

“I let you down.  I let team down.  I’m hope play and we win cup.  You win cup, you know, without Sid.”

“G, it wasn’t your fault you got hurt.  Don’t be sorry about anything.  You’re hanging out with us.  You’re gonna travel with us.  That’s important.  You’ll be there to help me and provide moral support.”

“Moral support is suck.”

“It’s important.”  Jamie reassured him.  “Trust me.  I’m not sure we get to the playoffs without you being there the rest of the season.  I’ve needed it.  You.  Dumes.  I couldn’t have… I wouldn’t have made it through this season so far without you guys.”

“You do great job.  You best captain, was right thing.”

“You’d have been a great captain.”

“Maybe.  I’m not good leader.  Too much have to be with people.  You know, have to talk to press.”

“Like I said, you’re here for the moral support.”  Jamie chuckled.  “Our leader from behind… just not behind a mic.”

“Funny.”  Geno laughed, relaxing.  “So.  What we do to help team?”

“I don’t know.  I guess we just keep doing what we’ve been doing.”

The server brought their food and set it down.  Geno picked at some of the fries that had fallen off the sandwich.  He was quiet, thinking.  After a minute, he sat up straight and looked directly at Jamie.

“You know I’m not play again.”  He said flatly, seriously.

“I know, G.”  Jamie said just as flatly.

“I was want one more cup.  Then I’m have one more than Sid.  That would have been good career.”

Jamie smiled.  Everything was always a competition between Geno and Sid. 

“We can win it this year.  You’d be ahead then and at least I’d be tied.”  He chuckled.  “I’m gonna have a tough haul to get more than you guys.”

“You win lots more cups.  You be best Crosby.”  Geno laughed.

“Nah.”  Jamie shook his head.  “Sunshine’s gonna outdo us all.”

“You know,” Geno grinned, “I’m watch her and Nikita at Olympics.  I’m think Nikki has crush on Sunshine.”

“Oh god, G.  They’re too young for that shit.”  Jamie laughed, shaking his head again.

“Yes.  I’m know.  But I’m think someday we will be family.”

“We’re already family, G.”  Jamie smiled warmly across the table.  “No matter where we are.  Are you gonna go back to Russia?”

“I’m think I’m stay in Pittsburgh.  Nikita like it here.  Maybe I help coach his team.  Maybe get Sid to coach, too.”

“You guys would be awesome coaches.”  Jamie smiled.

“Best.”

“Best.  Always.”  Jamie agreed.

And with that, another chapter in Jamie’s life ended.  First it was hockey without Sid.  Now, it would be hockey without Geno.


	29. Needed This

Nobody expected them to get past Carolina.

It took five games, but they won the first round.

Nobody expected them to get past Washington.

It took six games, but they won the second round.

Now, they faced Tampa Bay in the Eastern Conference Championship.  Nobody expects them to win.

For Jamie, it’s been nice having distractions from the playoffs.  He’s been house-hunting with Toni.  She really likes the Wexford and Franklin Park area.  It’s a nice place, upscale.  Flower and Tanger have homes there.  Jamie hasn’t really liked any of the places she’s looked at yet.  Truth is, he’s hoping she’ll just stay with him and Sid for a while longer.  He likes having Tony around.

He knows that’s not a realistic expectation.

Everybody, except Toni and Tony, are flying to Tampa for games one and two.  Andy’s parents and Dillon’s family have been at all the games and are flying down as well.  Andy’s parents are getting along great.  Dillon’s family loves Andy.  He can see a wedding in the boys’ future.  If that’s what they want.  Outside of the team and their families, they’ve managed to keep their relationship low key and out of the public eye, and the press.  There are times Jamie wishes he and Sid had that opportunity.  And yet, he wouldn’t change anything about how they ended up together.

The Pens flew out on a Tuesday for Tampa.  The weather in Pittsburgh in May was fairly mild still, with temps running around the mid-60’s.  It was already in the 80’s in southern Florida.  It was a practice and fly day the day they left.  They had a day off scheduled in Florida, followed by a practice day, before the championships start Friday.  A day off means a day at the beach with Sid and Kylie.  Jamie’s ready for a break.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Sid’s put on a little weight since he retired.”

“A little?”  Jamie said in response to Brian’s observation.  “I’ve lost 30 pounds this season and I think he’s found every one of them.”

Brian laughed.  “I’m telling him you said that.”

“Come on, look at him.”  Jamie pointed towards the water where Sid was playing in the waves with Kylie.  “He’s got a paunch.” 

“A little.”

“Wasn’t that what you meant?  And there’s some serious bounce in that booty.  No more bouncing quarters off it.”  Jamie smirked.

“Funny.  He’s not working out?”

“Not much.  He was down working out a couple of weeks ago.  Just some light lifting and stuff he said.  He wasn’t down there very long when he came upstairs all bitchy and pissed.”

“What happened?  He hurt himself?”  Brian asked.

“Nah.  He was doing a squat with about a hundred and when he went down, well… he had a blowout.”

“Blowout?”

“Spit his shorts.  I mean, they were tight, he had to know it was gonna happen at some point.  And I mean really tight.  I don’t know how he got that ass into them in the first place.”

Brian snorted, trying not to laugh too loudly.  “That had to hit him right in the ego.”

“You have no idea.  Pouted for days.”

“So, he’s back on a diet now I assume?”

“Nope.  Ate a whole pie cause he was so pissed.”  Jamie chuckled.  “He’s still eating like he’s playing.  Trying to keep up with me.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining.   I like it.  The extra pounds.  He’s all cuddly bear.”

“Cuddly bear?  I’m telling him you said that, too.”  Brian grinned.

“Go ahead.  He already knows I call him that.  Sexy ‘ol cuddle bear.  Curl up behind him, that big ass all warm and squishy…”

“Too much info, Fluff.”

“I like that soft, bouncy backside.  It’s a nice pillow.”

“Stop.  I don’t want to hear any more.”

“Of course, it’s not as nice as yours.”  Jamie smirked.  He turned, raised his shades, and winked at Brian.  “Dume-ass.”

“You’re warped.  You know that, right?”

“One of my finer qualities.” 

“I don’t know why I put up with you.”

“You love me, Dume-ass.  Admit it.”

“Some days.”  Brian smiled.  He took a sip from his water bottle.  “This is nice, huh.”

“Nice.”  Jamie sighed.  “Needed this.”

“Yeah, you did.”  Brian reached over and patted Jamie’s arm.  “Back to the grind tomorrow, though.”

“You think we can do this?”

“I think we’re gonna give it a hell of a try, Fluff.”

“We need to take a vacation when we’re done.  Go down to the island, or up to the cabin.  Take the whole family, ya know.”

“I’ll take the island.  Canada in the summer?  Too many bugs.”

“It’s not bad up at the lake.  Really.”

“Right.  I’ll still take the island.  Sun.  Sand.  Crystal clear blue water.  Now that’s really nice.”

“After this season, I could really use that.”  Jamie paused, thinking. 

“What?”  Brian asked after a few minutes of silence.  “Something’s bothering you.”

“Next year’s gonna be so different.  It’ll just be us.  Only ones left.”

“Last men standing.”  Brian nodded.  “Doesn’t seem possible.”

“Last men.”

“Don’t worry, Fluff.”  Brian reassured him, reading the anxiety in those two words.  “I’m not going anywhere.  You’re stuck with me.”

“Thanks.”  Jamie said.  “I needed that, too.”


	30. TBL - Game 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short... but... an update...

“And the home of the brave.”

Jamie dipped his chin to his collar, closed his eyes and took a deep breath.  He let it out slowly and let his eyes adjust to the bright lights of the rink.  He turned and pushed off with his left skate.  As he wheeled in front of the goal, reaching out with his stick to give Petr’s pads a tap, Jamie tried to clear his mind.

One game.

It was an old standard response, but it held a lot of truth.  You have to just take it one game at a time.  What kept invading his thoughts was that this could be the last game.  Well, not this game, but that game was a lot closer than it had been in September.

He wanted it this year.  Maybe more than any other year.  He wanted it for the guys who were leaving.  Geno.  Hags.  Olli.  Rusty.  One last cup together.  Like he’d had with Sid.

He glided to a stop at the edge of the circle and waited.  The puck hit the ice and everything except the game rushed out of his head.  Instincts and years of training took over, controlling his movements.  Much like Sid, like the best players, his mind worked two steps ahead of the play.  He anticipated where the puck was going, where it would be.  He felt the cold rush of air against his cheeks as he raced after it.  He cleared the puck out of the Pens end and just that quick his shift was over.  He changed behind the play in the Tampa end.

Before he got back on the ice for his second shift, Tampa was up by one goal.  By the end of the first period, they were up by three.

After two, the Pens had clawed their way back into the game, scoring a pair of goals.  Jamie felt the momentum swinging their way.

Forty seconds into the third period Jamie drew a holding penalty that put the Pens on the power play.  Thirty-four seconds into the power play, Jamie took a one-timer from the top of the circle that tied the game.

It was a stand-off for the rest of the period.  Back and forth, up and down the ice.  Each team got some golden scoring chances, but neither could get it in the net.  The goalies were putting on a show of skill.  Jamie rang it off the posts a couple of times.  With two minutes left, they thought Jake had scored the go-ahead goal, but it was waived off for goalie interference.  It looked like the tone for this series was going to be set with an OT in the first game.

The whistle blew when the Lightning goalie covered the puck.  Jamie looked up at the clock.  Thirty-two seconds.  He skated over to the bench to join his teammates.  Sully had called a time-out.  They gathered around as Sully drew up a play on the white board.  A play that worked if they won the face-off.

“And if we don’t?”  Andy had asked.

“Get your asses back down the ice and keep them from scoring.”  Sully grumbled.

As they skated to the circle to the right of the Lightning goal, Jamie leaned down to chat a Jake.

“Come back.”

“What?”

“Bring the puck back.”

“But Sully said…”  Jake questioned.

“Bring it back.”  Jamie said again, then skated over to Dillon.  “Forget what Sully said.  As soon as the puck hits, break for the net.  Get your stick down on the ice on the short side.”

“I’m not gonna go against…”

“Just fucking be in front of the net.”  Jamie said sternly.

The official dropped the puck and Jake did as Jamie instructed, bringing it straight back between his legs.  Jamie was waiting, all alone.  He could hear Sully yelling from the bench.  This wasn’t what he’d told them to do.  The puck hit Jamie’s stick and he looked for Dillon.  In the blink of an eye, he settled the puck and tee’d up.  He swung away.

The puck rocketed off Jamie’s stick straight towards Dillon’s stick.  It never wavered.  It never bounced.  It just sailed across the ice, banked off Dillon’s stick and went under the leg pad of the goalie.  The light went off behind the glass and Dillon threw his arms up.  Jamie pumped his fist, then was mobbed by his teammates.

Pittsburgh 4    Tampa Bay 3     Pittsburgh leads series 1-0.


	31. Reset

_Game 2_

_Pittsburgh 1     Tampa Bay 4_

_Game 3_

_Pittsburgh 3     Tampa Bay 5_

_Game 4_

_Pittsburgh 2     Tampa Bay 4_

And just like that, they’d gone from winning game one on the road, from feeling good about their chances to win the series, from riding an emotional high… to being on the brink of elimination.  The media were already writing them off.  They were eyeing up a Lightning versus Golden Knights match-up. 

Game five would mean having to win on the road… again.  If they had any hope of going to the final, they’d have to win twice on the road for that matter.  No easy task to be undertaken by any team, let alone one that was suddenly doubting its ability to even win at home.

They had a light practice at PPG and then flew down to Tampa.  Jamie talked to Sully before practice and they decided that the team needed some alone time.  Just them.  No coaches.  No family.  No media.  Jamie sent out the group text.  Then he made a few phone calls.

_Team ONLY dinner.  Meet in lobby at 6.  Dress very casual.  Shorts acceptable.  I’m buying._

Once everyone had gathered, they were surprised that there was a bus waiting to take them wherever they were going.  Jamie hadn’t told anyone, not even Brian, although it only took him a few minutes into the ride to figure out where Jamie was taking them. 

Brian leaned over.  “Sam’s?”

“Yep.  We’ll have the place to ourselves.”

“Nice.”  Brian nodded his head.  “The boys will like it.”

Sam’s, or as Kylie called it, Frank’s South, wasn’t really anything like Frank’s Diner.  Frank’s brother, a life-long Pittsburgher, had retired a few years ago and followed his dream of owning a bar on a waterfront somewhere warm and sunny.  He’d ended up in Florida where he bought a rundown restaurant that had seen its better day.  He’d worked on it himself and fixed it up slowly.  It still looked like a dive on the outside, but the inside was nice, and it was on the water.  The back deck overlooked a small inlet off the gulf coast.  There was more than enough room for them to all sit out there and enjoy the warm Florida evening.

“Welcome to Sam’s.”  A big, burly man greeted them as they stepped off the bus.  “A little bit of the Burgh in the south.”

“Thanks for doing this.”  Jamie shook his hand.  “I know it’s a lot to ask.”

“Nonsense, boy.  It’s my pleasure to help you guys out.  Gotta bring that cup home again.”  Sam laughed heartily.  He turned and motioned for the boys to follow.  “This way.”

There was a sign in the door that indicated the bar was closed for a private party.  When the boys walked in, they were greeted by more Pittsburgh memorabilia than any of them had ever seen.  It felt like… home.

They made their way out to the back deck where Sam had put all the tables together so they could all sit in one group.  A few of the boys lingered to look at the sports pictures, many personally autographed, before they joined the others.  Once they were all seated, Jamie stood up and addressed the team.

“Rule number one.  No hockey talk tonight.  None.  You get caught talking about tomorrow’s game and it’s a five-hundred dollar fine.  Geno and Brian will be the enforcers.” 

Even though he wasn’t playing, Geno was traveling with them.  He nodded his agreement of Jamie’s rule.  Hags, however, raised his hand.

“Yes?”

“Can we talk about other hockey?  Cause there are some really cool pictures in there.”  He pointed towards the bar.

“Okay.  Just this series, the final, and anything Tampa Bay are off limits.”  Jamie said.  “Rule number two.  One drink limit tonight if you want something.  That goes for our, um, younsters as well.  Nobody’s gonna say anything if you want a beer.  But that’s it.  No frat boy drinking, Dumes.”

That brought some chuckles and a huff from Brian. 

“Rule number three.  Have fun and relax.”  Jamie smiled as he sat down.

They did just that.  They talked.  They laughed.  They laughed until they cried.  They ate.  A few of the boys got up and wandered back inside to look at more of the memorabilia.  It was a good evening.

When it was time to go, Jamie stood up again and motioned for them to quiet down.

“Okay.  You guys did great.  I’m happy to report no fines were issued tonight.  Until now.”  His face took on a serious tone as he looked at each of them.  “I’m not ready for this season to be over.  We’ve come through too much.  We’ve come too far.  Together.  You guys know it…” he nodded to some of the younger players, “we aren’t going to be the same team next year.  There are going to be a lot of changes.  Yeah, we’ve dug ourselves a hell of a hole.  But I have faith in you guys.  I have faith in our resiliency.  We can climb back out.  It’s not going to end here, tomorrow.  Set your minds on that fact.  Make it happen.”

_Game 5_

_Pittsburgh 4      Tampa Bay 3_


	32. His Team

Game six brings them back to Pittsburgh.  Jamie needs to rally the troops two more times.  Dinner in Tampa worked, but what to do next.  That’s when Jake steps up.

“Boys, dinner at the Crosby house tonight.”  He announces after practice on the day in between game five and six. 

“What’s that?”  Jamie questions, taken by surprise by Jake’s invitation.

“Dinner at the house tonight.  On me.  Well, not just dinner.  Come hang out.  Video games.  Movies.  It’s nice out, so the kids can play outside.  Families welcome.  The more the merrier.”  Jake grins.  Jamie just stares at him, stunned, his mouth agape.

“Sounds like a plan.”  Brian chimes in.  He puts his hand to Jamie’s chin and pushes up.  “What can we bring, Goo?”

“Nothing.  All taken care of.  Just bring yourselves.”

Jake stands and heads to the showers.  Jamie turns to Brian, giving him a disapproving look.

“What?”  Brian shrugs.  “You wanted to do something.  Jake’s doing something.”

“At my house.”  Jamie huffs.  “Without asking.  Without… oh my god.  We’re gonna spring a houseful of people on Sid and Toni without any notice. We can’t…”

“They already know.”  Jake yells from across the room. 

Now Jamie’s really confused.  He goes about stripping out of his gear, showering, and getting dressed.  He tries to grill Jake on the ride home, but Jake is tight lipped.  When they pull in the driveway, there are two catering vans there.

“I don’t…”  Jamie starts.

“We figured you needed a break from trying to keep them going.  Or should I say, you need some help.  It’s gonna take all of us.  I talked to Sid and he agreed.  We decided not to worry you, or have you worry, I guess, about the details.  As you told the boys the other day, just relax and enjoy.  No worry about hockey tonight.”

Distracting them for an evening had worked the first time.  Jamie was willing to give it another go-round, especially if he didn’t have to think about how to do it.  God bless Sid.  Well, god bless Jake actually.  Jamie hated to admit it, but it was good to have him around again.

\--------------------------------------------------------

Sid wandered around casually picking up empty plates, glasses, and bottles.  Yeah, the caterers would take care of cleaning up, but he felt like he needed to be doing something.  All afternoon and evening he’d watched Jamie work the team, going from player to player for some one-on-one encouragement.  It was something he’d have been doing at this point.  If it was still his team.

“You miss it?” 

The voice behind him startled him.

“Sometimes.”  Sid turned to see Mario standing behind him.  “You?”

“Sometimes.”  Mario smiled.

“He’s been working hard.  Keeping their spirits up.”

“Yes, he learned that from you.”

“I learned it from you.”  Sid said softly.  “Times change, though.”

“He’s a good captain.  He’s not you, but he’s a good captain.  He’s done a good job with your team.”

“They aren’t my team anymore.”  Sid sighed. 

“Right.”

“They’re his team.  He’s done… he’s…”

“He’s much more involved in off-ice matters than you.  Keeps management on their toes.”

“That’s not what I meant.  Exactly.  I guess.”  Sid looked for Jamie, found him sitting at one of the tables talking to Jake.

“What then?”

“They’re his team.  I think it started last year, when he pushed them to the play-offs and the cup.  He did that.  Not me.  And this year?  With all that’s gone on off ice.  He’s been their leader.  Even the vets, G, Hags, Olli, Rusty… the guys that played for me all these years… they’re his team.  His core.  They’d follow him to the end of the world, I think.”

“They’d have followed you.”  Mario stated.  “To hell and back.”

“They’d have followed, but not like they would for him.”  Sid shook his head slowly.  “No, he’s got something going with this team.  I played on some teams that were close, but this team…”

“I get that, too.  Something special, they are.”  Mario nodded.

Sid nodded.  This team was tight.  That was Jamie’s doing.  He’d gotten them together with a single mission, a single-mindedness.  A brotherhood that went beyond the rink and the ice and hockey, though.  They were closer than any team Sid had ever captained.

“If they win,” Mario started, “if they win this series, the cup is theirs.”

“If they win.  Yeah.”  Sid agreed.  “But they still have two games to go.”

Later, after everybody had left, he went looking for Jamie.  He hadn’t seen him for a while.  He thought he knew where Jamie would be, and he was right.  Sid slowly pushed their bedroom door open.

Jamie was stretched out on his stomach on the bed, one arm under his head, the other hugging a pillow.  Kylie was lying on top of Jamie, chest to his back, head nestled between his shoulders.  She looked like a little starfish sunning herself on a rock.  Her arms were draped over his sides, a leg dangling down on each side of his hips.  Lexie was curled along Jamie’s side, her head on the pillow he was hugging.  Stanley was sprawled on his side across the bottom of the bed using Jamie’s leg as a pillow.

Sid smiled.  His life, his world, was spread out in front of him.  He pulled out his phone and snapped the picture.  This was a memory he wanted to hold on to forever.  He quietly backed out of the room and pulled the door shut.

Two more games, he thought.  He felt sorry for Tampa Bay.

\------------------------------------------------------------------

The air at PPG Paints Arena felt electrified.  Play-off games at home were always something special, but tonight seemed amplified.  The Pens, their Pens, were fighting to stay alive and the fans were there to give them some extra energy.

It worked.

The Pens came out gunning from the initial puck drop.  By the end off the first period, they were up four to nothing and had taken the wind out of the Lightning, who seemed shell-shocked.  Dillon added two goals in the second.  Jake got his third, for a hat trick, in the third period to put the nail in the Lightning’s coffin. 

They were going to game seven. 

_Game 6_

_Pittsburgh 7     Tampa Bay 0_


End file.
